What am I doing?
“I must be crazy,” Jessica told her sleeping puppy as she drove through the night on her way to meet Matt in Lincoln, Nebraska.
Matt, 31, was running the Lincoln Marathon in a few hours and Jessica, 26, was going to support him—and to meet him in person after several weeks of communicating online and through texts and phone calls.
“I had that feeling going to meet this guy that something was different and I was in for something big and potentially life changing,” Jessica said. It was the same feeling that led her to choose her college and go on a mission trip to India, among other transformative experiences.
“I have learned that when God tells me to do something, whether it makes sense to me or not at the time, I should listen,” she said. “This, I knew, was no different.”
So how had Jessica ended up here, driving at three a.m. to meet a guy who lived almost 200 miles away?
Flashback ten years…
Matt’s parents bought him a subscription to CatholicMatch because his father wanted him to meet someone who would be a good influence in his life. Over the years, Matt messaged many members, met a few in person, and even had a couple relationships. “But there was always a piece or two of the puzzle missing,” he said.
In the spring of 2019, Matt was in the middle of chatting with a member when his subscription expired. He didn’t want to ghost her, so he renewed his subscription, but planned for it to be his last time. A week later, Jessica’s profile popped up.
“She was cute, she was a runner, she was into her faith but not in a showy way that often discouraged me from messaging matches,” Matt said.
At the prompting of a friend, Jessica had signed up to create a free profile. “I have had my fair share of bad experiences with guys and relationships,” she said. “I had reached a point where I was losing hope that a relationship would ever work out, or that I would have to settle.”
Being a people person, Jessica had her doubts about online dating. “It seemed so… awkward,” she said.
Nevertheless, Jessica created her profile and started checking out matches and messages from men on the site. Then she saw Matt’s picture.
“I knew something about him was different before I even clicked on his profile,” Jessica said. “I told myself that if he messaged me, I would buy a subscription. It was only a couple of hours into me making my profile that I got the notification that he did message me.”
Jessica paid for the CatholicMatch subscription and she and Matt started messaging one another right away. They talked about their common interests, mainly their love of running. “For the next few days, I was always so excited to get a message and would respond ASAP,” Matt said.
Soon, Jessica gave him her phone number and they started texting. Everything seemed to be going fine. But then they hit a glitch. “I really thought it was going somewhere until I didn’t receive a response,” Matt said.
“I thought I said something wrong and she lost interest.”
Meanwhile, Jessica thought the rejection was coming from Matt. “He randomly stopped texting me,” she said. “Thinking I was being ghosted, I was pretty disappointed as I thought we had a good connection.”
Matt wasn’t ready to give up, so after a few days of silence, he texted and wished Jessica a happy Good Friday. “When I received a text from him a few days later, I knew that this had potential to grow into something,” Jessica said. They were relieved to learn there had been a technical difficulty that briefly stopped their texts from being received.
Jessica and Matt resumed texting. Matt was excited, but hesitant about the distance between them. He was also reluctant to talk on the phone. “He had mentioned to me that he doesn't like phone calls and that he felt like he runs out of things to say so they become awkward,” Jessica said.
Those misgivings evaporated the first time Jessica called and they talked for an hour on her lunch break. “My opinion on the awkwardness changed dramatically with how well the conversation flowed,” Matt said.
“We clicked,” Jessica agreed. “I knew it, and I was pretty sure he did too.”
A few days later, they started talking about Matt’s upcoming marathon in Lincoln. Jessica was interested in running it the following year and wanted to check out the course.
“Her interest in checking it out grew into a planned trip to Lincoln and eventually we decided to meet before the start,” Matt said. “I was excited and glad that she proposed this as my nerves to meet her couldn’t possibly overtake the nerves I had to run a marathon I didn’t feel prepared for.”
After a long night’s drive, Jessica arrived an hour before the race in the early morning.
“I’ll never forget seeing her from across the street and waiting for her to be able to cross,” Matt said. “It should have been so awkward, but somehow it wasn’t.”
Seeing Jessica calmed Matt’s nerves for the race and he ran his fastest mile at the spot where he knew he was likely to see her on the course.
“Everything about our first meeting was perfect,” Jessica said. She met Matt’s father at the race, and later that day went to Matt's house for dinner with his family.
“Right away it felt so natural to be with him,” Jessica said. “His family made me feel so comfortable that I felt like I was already a part of it.”
Matt asked Jessica to be his girlfriend a week later. “The next 7-8 months were bliss!” Matt said.
The new couple ran races together, went to a Dave Matthews concert, tried different wineries and breweries, and attended an NFL game in Minnesota.
During that trip, Matt revealed he was looking at engagement rings. They happily checked out all the jewelry stores in the Mall of America.
Matt eventually designed his own engagement ring for Jessica, choosing the band type and diamond shape. He checked the website every day to see how soon it would arrive. As soon as it did, Matt wasted no time.
On a cold night in January, under a clear sky with sparkling stars, Matt told Jessica he bought a ring.
Her heart skipped a beat. "No you didn’t,” she jokingly said, even though she knew he was serious. Matt withdrew a small box from his pocket, got down on one knee, and proposed.
“I started crying and couldn't say anything because I was so overwhelmed with happiness,” Jessica said. “This is the moment every girl dreams of. The love of her life asking this all-important question. Nothing can quite prepare you for it. This was my moment, and it was absolutely perfect.”
Less than a year after meeting, Jessica and Matt are now planning their wedding. Dating long distance and not being able to see each other more has been difficult, but it has also increased their level of communication.
Jessica said that online dating helps with knowing you’re on the same page with someone regarding topics like faith and family, but dating long distance allows you to have even deeper conversations. “This confirmed early on for both of us that we were on the same page with every major topic,” Jessica said. “For us, this was crucial for it made developing our relationship mean even more as we got to know each other.”
Since meeting, both say they have grown in their faith. They enjoy going to Mass together, as well as “little things” such as holding hands, going on walks, and “the look he gives me that makes me feel so loved it brings me to tears.”
Jessica and Matt acknowledge their relationship has moved quickly, but they feel they are on God’s time, not their own.
“Once we found each other, it didn't take long for us to realize it,” Jessica said.
“It's incredible to see how God works when you say ‘yes’ to his plan.”
Both say their relationship seems to grow stronger with each day of their engagement. Their hope is that they can be an example of love, faith, and family to others.
“We are so excited to continue our story as a soon-to-be married couple,” said Matt. “Here's to many years of running the journey of life together.”
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