“I did not choose CatholicMatch,” Madeline confessed. “My best friend did.”
In August 2018, Madeline had finished graduate school and moved out of her parents’ home into a house with two women in Saint Paul, Minnesota. One was Clare, her best friend from college. Madeline was enjoying new friends and the single life.
Clare and Madeline’s other roommate wanted to get a dog. “But as we all had different work schedules and priorities, I didn’t want to get stuck taking care of a pet I didn’t really want in the first place,” Madeline said.
Late on a Friday night, Madeline made her roomies a deal. If she was in a serious relationship by January 1, 2019, they could get a dog.
“I figured it was an easy bet to win as I had never been in a serious relationship before and I wasn’t looking to date anyone.” She had tried online dating (including CatholicMatch) with no success. “I had become a little jaded about online dating and didn’t have high hopes,” she said.
Determined to get that dog, Clare posed as Madeline on CatholicMatch.
Clare created a profile and e-mail account for Madeline so that no e-mails would go to Clare’s personal account. “She knows me well enough to fill out most of the information herself and just asked me questions about a few things,” Madeline said.
Searching on Madeline’s behalf, Clare came across Timothy’s profile and informed her: “I have found the one for whom your soul longs.” Under the guise of Madeline, Clare sent Timothy a message but didn’t hear back. It turns out Timothy didn’t check his account often. Two months later, in October 2018, Timothy saw the message from “Madeline” (actually Clare) and responded.
“I chose CatholicMatch because I have several cousins who found their spouses there,” Timothy said. “I had tried meeting people at Catholic young adult events but was not finding success. I didn’t have any frustrations or preconceived ideas. CatholicMatch was the first dating site I tried and did not know what to expect.”
Timothy’s profile intrigued Madeline. He listed Pride and Prejudice as his favorite book and “The Planets” by British composer Gustav Holst as his favorite piece of music. “I always knew I wanted ‘O God Beyond All Praising’ (composed by Holst) played at my wedding,” Madeline said.
After exchanging messages, Timothy arranged for he and Madeline to meet at a pizza place.
“Going in, I was a little nervous because I had never been on a date before, but I was excited to meet this person who shared my love of music and romance,” Timothy said.
Madeline had never seen Timothy’s photo. Most of her information about him had come from Clare. So, she was a little nervous when she arrived at the restaurant because she didn’t know who to look for.
She called Clare, who promptly sent a photo of Timothy.
The hostess sensed Madeline’s anxiety and asked if she was meeting someone for a blind date, then pointed to Timothy. Once they sat and started talking, Madeline’s nerves and anxiety vanished. She immediately felt comfortable with him and they never ran out of things to talk about. “Although I did get a little nervous when he started in on Star Wars,” she said.
Madeline was having so much fun that she didn’t want the date to end. Unfortunately, she is a 4th-grade teacher and it was a Tuesday night, so she had to leave around 9 p.m.
“The whole experience of the first date made me want to get to know her more, so as we left, I asked her if we could do this again,” Timothy recalled. Madeline said yes.
“Having never really dated before, I was excited to continue getting to know someone who shared so many interests as myself,” she recalled.
They met at the zoo for a second date.
Timothy gave them a three-hour time limit because he and his twin sister had agreed to babysit their nephews for the evening. "This consequently made him infinitely more attractive,” Madeline said.
They saw a reindeer exhibit and Timothy sang “Reindeer are Better than People” from the movie Frozen. This gave Madeline the feeling that this new relationship might be real. She wanted to keep Timothy around.
After dating for about six weeks, Timothy was laid off from his job. “We just got more creative about inexpensive dates, or just spent quality time together at each other’s homes,” Madeline said. During Timothy’s job hunt, he came down with mononucleosis. Fortunately, Maddie never got the sickness.
“When I had mono, Maddie came up to my house every day and would just sit with me while I was ‘out of it’ and couldn’t really talk to her because my throat was so swollen,” Timothy said. When he was awake, they watched movies, and when he fell asleep, she graded papers. Less than six months later, Timothy found a new job.
The day after Thanksgiving 2018, Madeline met Timothy’s parents and twin sister. She met the rest of his family just before Christmas. Timothy has five siblings, four are married, and they have 10 kids between them. “I met all of the siblings, spouses, and eight of the nieces and nephews all on the same day,” Madeline said.
Timothy’s nieces, though curious about Madeline, kept their distance at first. Then one came up to her and loudly announced: “I’m not afraid of you. You like sparkles and pink and polka dots!”
Even with Timothy’s large family, somehow nobody had told his brother about Madeline. When he showed up at the house, he was surprised to see Madeline sitting on the couch. Timothy’s brother hid his surprise well and introduced himself and his wife to her.
Nearly a year after meeting, in September 2019, Timothy proposed to Madeline in her living room. “Very much like a Jane Austen novel!” she said. They shared the news with family and friends, and started planning right away. They began marriage preparation classes and enjoyed getting to know each other better through long discussions about important topics, praying together and for each other, and having more date nights.
They decided on a late-spring/early-summer wedding. “We wanted to set the date as quickly as possible,” Madeline said. And then… the COVID-19 pandemic hit.
Just before spring break, Madeline had to start teaching online. She moved to another friend’s house because one of her current roommates was a healthcare worker. This led to the couple spending less time together and trying to navigate how to deal with the possibility of a long-term separation.
“We had to make the difficult decision to cancel our wedding reception,” Madeline said. Her friend suggested getting married early so that Madeline and Timothy could move in together. The whirlwind began.
In a matter of days, they secured a marriage license at a drive-through, changed the date with the church, and found a place to live. Madeline had three different addresses during the month of March.
On April 4, 2020, right after a stay-at-home order went into effect, they got married. “We were only able to have our parents and witnesses, along with the priest, musicians, photographer, and videographer at the wedding,” Madeline said. “Yet it was still a beautiful day. We had beautiful music, and our friends and family made sure it was still a memorable day for us.”
Their videographer set up a live stream so all their friends and family could watch the ceremony.
Exchanging rings was the biggest highlight for Madeline. “It was so surreal... I just couldn’t believe this was finally happening and that, at that moment, we were finally together for life!”
Timothy recalled the day fondly: “Seeing Maddie walking down the aisle, listening to the homily, the exchange of rings, and walking out of the church to see our friends in their cars greeting us with the honking of horns.”
Now under a stay-at-home order, the newlyweds are enjoying their early weeks of married life.
Madeline teaches online from their dining room table. Timothy, who is considered an essential worker, still goes to his office every day.
“We are enjoying lots of quality time together outside of work hours and on the weekends, cooking meals together, watching Psych, and having Zoom hangout sessions with our families,” Madeline shared. They are also house-hunting virtually and looking forward to the reception and honeymoon that will take place as soon as large events are permissible again.
As their relationship develops, Madeline loves how safe and comfortable she feels around Timothy. “I can talk to him about anything, and even when I feel nervous about bringing things up, he will patiently wait until I say everything, and ask questions as needed. Then he will respond.”
“Now, as her spouse, I love her playfulness,” Timothy said. “Having gotten to know each other better, we’re comfortable being silly together. Randomly bursting out into song is something we share a lot.”
From meeting through a forged profile to a burgeoning romance to marriage in a pandemic, the couple is grateful they met on CatholicMatch. “I also appreciate that I married the same guy I went on the first date with,” Madeline said. “No airs were put on, no faking a personality. He’s stayed the same man this whole time.”
Madeline won that bet with her roommates that they could get a dog if she met her future husband. Now she’s enjoying her new life with Timothy. Incidentally, her roommates have still not adopted a dog.
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