New Year's Resolutions For Single Catholics

When I think about New Year's resolutions I cringe thinking of all the resolutions I have made in years past, only to be broken before the Christmas tree lights were back up in the attic.

Like many of you, I start each January with the best of intentions and a wish list of self improvements: Read the entire Bible this year, eat fewer carbs, exercise more, keep in better touch with friends, learn to crochet and play the guitar, etc., etc., etc. I don’t feel qualified or comfortable recommending that you add any resolutions to your January list that I am not putting on my own, so these suggestions are just some snapshots of commitments and goals that have made a difference in my life. I hope that share your ideas, stories and perspective on what has made the most impact on your life as well, so that we can learn and grow from each other.

1. Face Your Financial Fears

I’ve remember the date I officially became debt-free. It was the day I received the title to my car in the mail. If there was one thing I learned that made a life-changing impact on my life, it was learning to face my fears about money and get in financial shape.

I’ve always known that managing money wisely was important, and that I needed to be careful when it came to debt. For me, my poor financial decisions were not racking up exorbitant credit card bills or taking out loans, but instead it was the bad habit of spending what I made, instead of developing an aggressive savings plan, and my refusal to live on a budget.

I had debilitating fear when it came to managing my money: fear of being overwhelmed, fear of not understanding the big words and complicated language of some financial “experts,” fear of making a bad decision, fear of having to live a more disciplined life, fear of failure...and the list could go on. In a nutshell, for several years I let my fear of money (or, what I now know was my lack of knowledge about my money) paralyze me from doing anything. I wasn’t in serious debt, but my brain absolutely rebelled at the idea of balancing the check book, or (heaven forbid!) putting myself on a budget.

If I learned one important lesson this past year, it was that money matters. Whether you are single, in a dating relationship, or married, your financial decisions, foolish or wise, will affect your life and your relationships. Money can be a source of peace and stability, or an opportunity for headaches, squabbles and disagreements.

While this certainly will not be the answer to everyone’s financial fears, for me and my situation, Dave Ramsey saved my financial life. Dave is an author, speaker, and financial expert who has written several New York Times best-sellers including The Total Money Makeover: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness.

If, like me, you feel that fear is keeping you from taking control of your finances, make this year the year when you face your financial fears and begin to take those baby steps in the direction of financial peace. There are many resources that can help you get on track. It will make a big difference in your life as a single person, but more importantly, it will give you the discipline and

right attitude about money that will greatly aid you in your relationships and, if it is God’s will, in your future marriage.

2. Reach Your Exercise and Lifestyle Goals with Accountability

My guess is that exercise and either dieting or better eating habits are on your list (or at least on your mind) as a resolution for the New Year. This is the area where Americans usually fail miserably in the attempt to achieve over ambitious new goals. According to author and motivational speaker Dale Berry, “the majority of your New Year's resolutions become New Year's delusions by the end of February. Less than 30% of New Years Resolutions ever achieve success.”

The question I have been asking myself is, what can I do to set realistic goals in this area and achieve long term success? I am trying two new things in the New Year that I am hoping will work better than sticking a Post-It Note of resolutions on my refrigerator door. I have two friends who are going to hold me accountable to my exercise goals, and I will do the same for them. I belong

to a women-only gym, and one of my coworkers is signing up at the same gym in the New Year. She and I plan to go together after work, so that we can make sure each other shows up each night. Another friend and I have set up a Google Calendar to track our workout progress. We will enter our daily exercise routine and track our own progress, and also check up on the other person to

make sure we are both staying committed to our personal goals. Hopefully these two forms of accountability will help me stay committed to my exercise routine in the New Year.

3. Try Something New and Out of Your Comfort Zone

When you are single and unattached, it’s easy to battle the feeling that your life lacks a certain meaning or purpose. As I’ve talked about many times before, one way to combat a sense of loneliness, isolation, or the feeling of being unneeded is to reach out to others in service and outreach opportunities. No matter where you live on Planet Earth, every town and community has needs and opportunities for people to serve. This year, my challenge to you and myself is to take on some form of volunteer work or service project that challenges you and brings you out of your comfort zone or normal world of activities.

One of my friends has decided to volunteer once a month at a homeless shelter. Another friend is joining a first responders emergency relief team. I’ve decided to sign up for sidewalk counseling outside the abortion clinic in my home town. After participating in the national campaign 40 Days for Life and witnessing so many babies saved and mothers’ lives changed because someone

was there to talk with them on the way into the clinic, I decided it was time for me to give it a try.

I’m sure there are many ideas you can come up with for challenging yourself to get involved in service, outreach and volunteer work. You as the giver will be twice blessed.

4. Attend a Catholic Event, Retreat or Conference

It is always encouraging, motivating, and often life-changing to gather with other Catholics for a conference, retreat, or event of some variety. I encourage you to put at least one such event on your calendar this year. Also, think about making plans to attend an event that might require a bit of travel, such as the annual March for Life in Washington D.C. or San Francisco, the National Catholic Singles Conference, or World Youth Day.

5. Become a More Active Member on CatholicMatch

If your profile is stale, it is time to update it. Here are some easy ways to update your profile:

6. Pray a Novena

A novena is a Catholic devotional practice that consists of praying to a particular saint for a specific intention and asking for special graces, for a period of nine consecutive days. I know that many single Catholics, including myself, have found great consolation and peace through praying novenas. You can search EWTN.com for novena prayers to your patron or favorite saint or sign up for a novena a week to come to your email. I recommend praying the St. Raphael Novena because St. Raphael the Archangel is loved and venerated under the patronage of happy meetings.

7. Strengthen the Best Friendship You Will Ever Have

Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI wrote a book titled Jesus, the Apostles, and the Early Church. It is truly a life-changing masterpiece (highly recommended for your New Year’s reading list!). One of my favorite passages is where the he talks about each Christian in our role as a disciple of Jesus Christ, and the fact that we are not only called to commune with God as our Lord and King, but also as our friend. This time of year, it’s easy to think of Jesus as our Savior, Messiah, and King. However, do you also come to him as your closest friend and confidant? Pope Benedict writes:

The Lord wishes to make each of us a disciple who lives in personal friendship with him. To achieve this, it is not enough to follow him and to listen to him outwardly: it

is also necessary to live with him and like him. This is only possible in the context of a relationship of deep familiarity, imbued with the warmth of total trust. This is what happens between friends; for this reason Jesus said one day: “Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends....” (John 15:13)

8. Pray for Your Future Spouse

This is just a very simple reminder, but if you feel called to the vocation of marriage, remember to say a brief prayer each day for the specific intentions of your future spouse. Perhaps you could pray for his or her safety, protection, wisdom, grace, growth in virtue, career, family, and that God would lead the two of you to each other in His perfect time.

I wish you all a happy, healthy, and prosperous New Year, filled with God’s blessings!