Sitting at a Theology on Tap in Boise, Idaho, Becca, 25, and I dished about our experience with CatholicMatch. She and I were trying to convince a gal at our table to join CatholicMatch because she had just broken up with her Protestant boyfriend.
She said she didn't want to join because she wasn't sure she had time to answer every message. Becca reassured her that she didn't necessarily have to answer every message; when she was on CatholicMatch, she only answered the message when it felt like the guy had put time and thought into it. “I never liked it when guys just sent me a generic message. It always seemed like they cared more about my appearance than they did me as a person.”
And it was a personal message that gave Nathanial, 25, the edge.
“I came across this beautiful young athlete, who was working on her master’s degree. I assumed (and rightly so) that plenty of guys tried to contact her before me, but I had to try. I’m not an athlete, so that wasn’t going to work as an icebreaker.
I had one hope! She was an engineer like me. So I did the most creative, unexpected thing I could think of: I asked her a science question. Yes, that is right, I let my inner nerd out, and I hoped for the best."
Instead of thinking Nathanial was a nerd, Becca was impressed by his question. “When I later asked her what made her decide to respond to me, she said that I was the first guy who started out by making her think.
Becca adds that she liked that Nathanial’s profile made it clear that his faith was the highest priority in his life. “He also was close to my age, very attractive, intelligent, thoughtful, and we seemed to have a lot in common. He put a pun in his profile, and that hit my sense of humor.”
They both joined CatholicMatch after losses
“Only six months after accepting my first job out of college, I found myself laid off and single, and I was starting to feel a little bit like Job in the Old Testament,” says Nathanial.
After hearing a newlywed friend talk about his experience meeting his wife on CatholicMatch, Nathan decided to give it a shot. “They are a wonderful couple, so I thought to myself, ‘Why not try it?’”
Initially, Nathanial was skeptical about whether or not CatholicMatch would work for him, but it didn’t take long for him to figure out that his friend was right and he started having fun.
“I realize now that God had to lead me through a series of circumstances in my life that allowed me to be open to the idea of looking online for ‘the one.’ I am so glad that He did,” adds Nathan.
Becca had also gone through tough times when she joined CatholicMatch. Becca was in the process of converting to Catholicism, at the prodding of her then fiancée, when the weekend before their wedding, he decided that he needed to discern the religious life. Becca called off the wedding, but they continued to date for a few months before Becca officially broke off the relationship so that he could discern.
A lot of people would have been tempted to stop the conversion process after the relationship ended, but Becca continued RCIA.
“My ex was essentially the catalyst for my conversion, not the reason. I'm not the type to join because of someone. I had to be fully convicted that Catholicism was truth. I was raised very Protestant, so It took me a long time to get all my questions answered regarding myths and misconceptions about the Catholic Church.”
A failed relationship couldn't shake Becca's conviction once she had discovered the truth of Catholicism.
About eight months after they officially broke up, Becca bought a membership for CatholicMatch.
“I knew I wanted to marry a Catholic that took his faith seriously, and the men I had met at Catholic events hadn’t fit the bill. I turned to online dating because emotions play less of a role when you're initially looking through profiles, and being logical about talking to someone prior to being in a relationship can save a lot of hurt and conflict later in the relationship.
Also, my brother met his wife of six years online, so I knew it was an option that worked. Of course, I made a ton of fun of my brother for online dating, but God has a sense of humor."
By the time that Nathanial came across Becca’s profile, life was going better for him. “I had found a job, and I was working on my master’s degree. There were so many wonderful people to talk to on CM, and the possibilities seemed endless. I had my search filters down to a science, and it was great!” Thankfully, that “science” led him straight to Becca’s profile.
Whew! The hard part was over for both of them
About a week after Nathanial reached out, in September 2015, they started Skyping regularly,
but because they were both busy with graduate school and work, they weren’t able to meet in person until three months later. By the time that they met in person, Becca says they had covered many of the topics that are important for marriage. “Deep conversations came easily to us, and most of these topics were fun to discuss,” says Becca.
During those conversations, they discovered that they are both converts who take their faith very seriously, they experienced similar personal events prior to joining CatholicMatch, and that they both value a healthy lifestyle.
“Also, with both of us being engineers, lots of nerdy discussions also take place! We also like being outdoors, and Nathanial is extremely supportive of my post-collegiate running,” says Becca.
“It seems that the list of things we can bond over is endless,” adds Nathan.
Well, she's a fast walker!
Over New Years 2016, Nathanial flew out to Boise to be with Becca for a week. When she picked Nathanial up at the airport for the first time, he couldn’t help but notice that she was a fast walker.
“I thought this was funny because my little sister used to tell me that someday I would have to slow down and walk like a normal person if I wanted to walk side by side with a woman. I chuckled a little bit when I thought of that, and I mentally added ‘fast walker’ to Becca’s long list of attributes.”
During Nathanial’s visit, the couple had some time to get to know each other. “We went hiking, skiing, saw the New Years Potato drop in downtown Boise, helped paint my church, went to some hot springs, went to Mass, he taught me how to swing dance, went boarding down the Bruneau sand dunes, and had a lot of time to talk,” shares Becca.
Several days after Nathanial’s visit, Becca flew to Oklahoma to see him. “I was also able to see how Nathanial was around his close family and friends, which reassured me that he was as genuine and kind as I thought he was,” shares Becca. Soon after, Nathanial also met Becca’s family, and her parents gave an enthusiastic approval of him. “From then on, we tried to see each other at least once a month in person, and we usually Skyped a couple of times a week,” says Nathanial.
An unexpected blizzard
In April 2016, the couple spent the weekend in Denver to check the area out. Nathanial had the perfect proposal all planned out for the weekend, but a snowstorm foiled his plans. “What was originally going to be a nice hike into the mountains on a beautiful day ending at a beautiful waterfall proposal, turned out to be a hike into the mountains ending in a blizzard.”
About two miles into their planned five-mile hike, the snow was coming down so hard that it was difficult to see, so they turned back. On their way back to the trailhead, they came across an outcropping of rocks that overlooked a valley of pine trees below and the snowfall slowed enough for them to sit on the rocks and take a break.
“As we sat there, the snow fell, and it began to cover the mountain tops in the distance above
us and collect on the tops of the pine trees in the valley below us. There was a sort of calming silence—a surreal, dreamlike, tranquility. After a moment of soaking in the view, I mentioned that I wouldn’t mind spending a lifetime in a place like this. She agreed. I then said that I wouldn’t mind spending a lifetime in a place like this with her. She agreed again. I pulled out the ring, got down on one knee, and asked her to marry me
“I was caught off-guard a bit…I mean, it was cold and snowy. And he wanted to marry me with an undeniable certainty. After making sure that this was actually happening, I said yes!”
After praying a novena during Summer 2016, Nathanial got the job he wanted in the Denver area. Becca finished her master’s degree in Boise before their December 2016 wedding in Denver.
They truly enjoyed that their "closest family and friends were so excited and supportive of them, and that they drove and flew in to Denver to share the special day with us,” says Becca.
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