Mary joined CatholicMatch on July 5, 2014, as a sort of joke, so she wasn’t expecting much. “My cousin and I were talking about how I needed to find someone and that I should give online dating a shot. I had just returned to the Church, so I figured I'd give it a try. I never expected to meet anyone—let alone the love of my life!”
The 28-year-old first connected with Kevin, 37, on CatholicMatch’s forums at the end of September. “He was having a rough time, and I offered some support. About an hour later, he sent me a message thanking me for the kind words.”
Mary felt a connection right away. She was attracted to Kevin's smile and his very well-written profile. "He pretty much put himself out there. I remember I probably looked at his profile four or five times, just to make sure he was really as genuine as he seemed.
If they hadn’t noticed each other on the forums, the two would have never connected. “Neither one of us had our search extended far enough to find each other, but God allowed us to meet!”
Long Distance Relationship
They talked for a week online, and then they exchanged phone numbers. The two spent a lot of time getting to know one another through phone conversations, Skype, and Google Hangouts.
They discovered that they had much in common. "We are both super nerdy and enjoy a lot of the same movies and TV shows. We also both love '80s pop/rock, and we are both huge Star Wars geeks–our wedding will probably have a lot of Star Wars aspects to it."
In November, they had their first date. Kevin drove the seven hours from Oklahoma to Louisiana to see Mary. “The first time we met was the greatest day of my life. We both knew right then that this relationship was something special. Our first date was a trip to my local zoo. We spent the afternoon walking hand in hand around the park, and we rode the train. The weather was perfect, which made the day even better.”
Thereafter, the two made a point of seeing each other every other week. At first, they were okay with the seven-hour driving distance, but as things became more serious between them, they both agreed that somebody would have to move.
Though they lived far from one another, they found themselves growing spiritually close. They would pray together often and attend Mass when they met up. Their beliefs were the same, having both grew up in the Church—though Mary had left for a time. “Throughout this whole experience, we have kept God first in our relationship. Every decision we make is made after prayer and guidance. We know that this relationship wouldn't have worked otherwise.”
They began praying in January about Mary moving up to Tulsa mid-summer.
Kevin is nine years older than Mary, but the age difference was never a big deal to them. Mary says her best friend thinks that it’s a good thing that Kevin is older because he keeps Mary grounded.
“I've never really had friends that were my age, to begin with, and I have a sister that is four years older than me, so I am used to having older friends.”
The only time they notice the age difference is when they make references the other doesn't really get because of the age gap.
Mary Makes the Move
Though the age difference wasn't a problem, getting Mary’s parents approval was another matter. Her parents were wary of online dating. After all, that’s not how their generation met their spouses. “I think our biggest hurdle was convincing my parents that this relationship was what we wanted and that online dating is how a lot of people find significant others nowadays. Finally, once they saw how committed we were to each other—and to Christ—they got on board with everything,” she says.
With their blessing, Mary moved to Oklahoma on April 9 to be closer to Kevin. Though Kevin hadn't proposed before she moved, he had already asked her parents for permission to marry her. “I moved up here two months ahead of schedule, and it has been the biggest blessing we have received.”
Kevin’s parents generously allowed Mary stay with them until her apartment was available.
She Loves Tulsa
Mary says that her moving to Tulsa was the best decision that they could have made. Though she does miss her friends and family, she certainly isn’t missing the long drive or Skyping. “There are no words to describe how amazing it is to go from seeing someone on a computer screen the majority of the time to seeing them face to face every day. Now there is no more planning trips to visit each other. Instead, we plan who is cooking dinner each night. Our relationship has blossomed!”
She goes on to say, “We still have our rough patches since I've never lived this far from home and we are still trying to find a schedule, but being together has been so wonderful. I enjoy getting to see Kevin every day.”
Memorial Weekend Proposal
Kevin didn't wait too long to make his commitment official. On May 24, he proposed. "It was simple and sweet!" says Mary.
"After Mass, we went to go light a candle for a friend of mine that was killed overseas (in honor of Memorial Day). I got up from the kneeler and turned around to see Kevin getting down on one knee and asking me to be his wife! The choir was still sitting in their area, and bursts of applause broke out. It was the best moment!"
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