Imagine this... a young girl wants her father to give her something and his reply is a gentle "Not yet." So, instead of going on about her business and waiting patiently, she instead throws a tantrum. She stomps her foot, demanding his attention and swift delivery of her requested desire. His reply remains unchanged and she storms off to her room in a fit of tears.
This image is a fairly accurate illustration of what my prayer life was often like when I was single, particularly around the holidays. I would ask God to please, please send me the one because I was so lonely and I didn't want to waste time being alone when I believed I had a lot of love to give to a future spouse and children. It's my vocation, for Pete's sake! But, when the answer was "not yet" I would throw my little internal tantrum and feel sorry for myself. I certainly don't recommend this tactic to anyone and please know that I am not insinuating all single people act this way. However, some of you might be able to relate to what I have described. And, if you do, I think we need to talk.
Let's be honest. It's no fun being single and lonely, especially during the holiday season. Whether you've never been married, or you are widowed or divorced, the desire to be with someone special can be overwhelming. The air is filled with Christmas music and the night with festive lights, and it seems like everywhere you look, EVERYONE is paired up with someone else, enjoying that special happiness that comes from being someone's significant other. And yes, it is difficult at times to put a smile on your face and be polite when relatives say unfortunate things like, "You're still single? What's wrong with you?" But despite all this, there's got to be a better way to get through the holidays than just ducking and holding on until January, right?
Well, I'd like to share a few pearls of wisdom with you from St. Padre Pio because he always brought equilibrium to troubling situations. Here is one of my favorite quotes of his:
Oh, how precious time is! Blessed are those who know how to make good use of it. Oh, if only all could understand how precious time is, undoubtedly everyone would do his best to spend it in a praiseworthy manner!
This statement really puts it all in perspective for me and how I wish I had paid more attention to this when I was single. Time is such a gift! Yes, even the time we have when we are lonely singles. I won't lambaste you with a diatribe of how "now that I'm married I can look back and appreciate the unnoticed luxuries of the single life" because frankly, every state in life has its pros and cons, its highs and lows. There is no question that the loneliness of being single can be a very difficult burden to bear. But in the midst of your loneliness there is still great hope, so I would like to encourage you to use this time of being single as St. Padre Pio suggests, in a praiseworthy manner.
Make Your Time More Meaningful
How can you do this? Well, a most obvious answer would be to serve others, but I think you expect to hear that answer. Volunteering at a soup kitchen or offering your time in some other way is great and commendable, but there is something I don't hear talked about much these days and that is the simple act of offering up your sufferings, especially for the souls in Purgatory.
Just think about it this way... when you die, your ability to choose right or wrong has ended and if you have made it to Purgatory, all you can do is suffer in the cleansing fire and wait. Unless, of course, someone who hasn't died yet is praying and offering sacrifices for you. So as long as you are alive, you have the distinct priviledge of helping souls get to heaven sooner because of your prayers and sacrifices. What a joyful way to spend not only the holidays, but your time being single!
Romans 8:28 tells us God will work all things for the good of those who love Him. He will take the worst of circumstances and make them into something good, which means He has not forgotten you even though you may be feeling forgotten. He knows your struggles. All the loneliness you are experiencing now will be fruitful in the end if you let God use it and if you live it well. So why not begin right now and start offering it up? If you say a morning offering at the start of your day, you have all your prayers, works, joys and sufferings covered for the entire day and offered for the souls in Purgatory or whatever you decide to offer them for.
Just sayin'.
I love to hear your feedback so send any questions or comments to [email protected] and you might consider downloading my Advent Personal Prep Sheet if you're looking for a way to make Advent more meaningful. It's free!
