The Best Life Hacks for Catholic Single Parents

Calling all single parents!

There once was a great discussion on the CatholicMatch forums where people shared their best single parenting tricks. There was so much wisdom shared that I wanted to make sure more people saw it! And I love these tips—everything from dinner menus, Mass tips, cell phone use, chores, to when to fit in the Rosary! Definitely tips for CATHOLIC single parents.

On technology:

1. Once my son became old enough to be aware of TV news stories and programs, the TV went off (except for PBS kids' stuff) and I've never had cable or satellite or anything. (Our VCR tapes of The Wiggles got quite a lot of use, though, so thank you, Australia!) I used to have a few favorite TV shows and now and then I'll read about a show or hear something in a conversation about an interesting program, but I guess I've got TV inertia or something. I'm ok with that. —Colleen

2. We have some good friends who have a set Saturday night with Popcorn/Apples/Cheese and movies. It's not every single Saturday, especially since their kids are older now and involved in many sports and things, but it's a thrifty and fun way to get together with friends. —Colleen

3. I taped maps and memorization things to the bathroom door, or for my son, under the top bunk of his bed. No electronics were allowed in their rooms. (One of their friends dad's couldn't believe I didn't have tvs all over the house and especially in the kids' room. We had one, downstairs. Upstairs was for reading.) No one was allowed a Nintendo until they could read fluently. They worked hard at that one! —Kathy

4. When your friends come over, it's your responsibility to explain to them our "house rules" —Carmen

5. As a mom of a 9 year old, I must provide food, clothes and a place to live. Nothing more. A phone is needed to make calls. Not play games, so he has a "dumb phone" that is prepaid. If you go over your minutes, you wait until the first of the month or you pay for more minutes. —Kate

6. If you don't answer when I text you, your phone gets taken away —Carmen

On dinner:

1. Once a week or so, when the kids were old enough, we would have a "fend for yourself " night for dinner which basically means what it sounds like, find leftovers, make a sandwich, mac 'n cheese, cereal, whatever—Mom's not cooking tonight. —Carmen

2. Mealtime was always a challenge for me, what with working full time and knowing how important it was to spend time around the dinner table every night. My goal was something hot, homemade, fairly nutritious, FAST, and cheap.

We had:
Marinara Mondays (any type of pasta noodles or pre-made/canned sauce, sometimes with garlic bread, sometimes without)
Taco Tuesdays (any type of hard taco, soft taco, burrito, taco salad, "walking taco"—basically the same ingredients every week but slight variation for interest)
Wonton Wednesdays (stir fry—Costco has a brilliant bag of stir fry veggies—add brown rice, soy sauce or maybe teriyaki sauce to change it up—we ate with chopsticks, kids thought it was fun—and a box of frozen wontons or egg rolls or some other Asian ready made "accessory" from Aldi to again keep it a little bit interesting each week)
Thursdays were grill out in the summer (chicken marinated in Italian dressing was super easy, burgers because my boys loved them so) and crockpot in the winter (I had a gazillion crockpot recipes, all freezer meal options)
Fridays were pizza or leftovers if we had some to get rid of.

It may sound boring, and after a few years it was! But hey, we got food on the table and we ate together. I didn't have to "think"—what's for dinner? Do I have the ingredients? Most everything is pantry / freezer food that you can buy in bulk and have on hand. —Jen

3. There are always two choices at every meal: A.) take it or B.) leave it (and you know where the peanut butter is) —Virginia

On chores:

1. When you were done with your meal, you immediately rinsed your dishes and put them in the dishwasher. —Carmen

2. I am willing to do the laundry as long as the dirty laundry gets sorted and the clean folded laundry gets put away. If you can not do that, you must do your own laundry for 2 weeks.

When my son was about 4, I told him I could not wait until he was 5 because then he was old enough to set and clear the table. At 6 he was old enough to wash the dinner dishes (we both ate off plastic) and so on. It was like getting a promotion, and he was excited!

Now that he is 9, we live by my grandfather's rules. Women cook, kids set and clear the table, and the men do the dishes. —Kate

3. Every person who can reach the controls for the washer and dryer is responsible for their own laundry. Lessons were provided and an occasional refresher course, but pretty much every school age kid had to deal with their own clothes. —Virginia

4. A pack your own lunch (within reason) policy was in effect when some of the kids attended school outside the home. —Virginia

5. Oh, and they started packing their own lunches from the day I was single. My youngest was packing her own lunch in kindergarten. I gave them instructions: one sandwich with protein (pb&j or lunchmeat), one fruit, one veggie. No desserts, I was tough :). They followed the rules because they existed since they were young. —Jen

On driving:

1. You couldn't take your driver's license road test til I could ride in the passenger seat without ripping the passenger side door handle off the door or wrinkling my shoe trying to hit the passenger side brakes (there were no passenger side brakes). There were other prerequisites too, like pumping gas, changing a tire, etc. —Virginia

2. Whoever was driving got to pick the radio station —Carmen

3. In their teens, they had to share a car. School came first, then whoever needed to get to a job, then sports, then fun. There was always a lot of compromising and scheduling going on! We used a white board in the kitchen to track their work hours for two weeks so they could plan accordingly. —Kathy

On simplifying:

1. Multi-task whenever possible. For example, I say the rosary with a priest on YouTube while on the treadmill. I prep for teaching school while I bake for my kids. I clean while laundry is in the wash. Multi-tasking is the only way I get anything done. —Ann

2. I have my utility payments automatically withdrawn from the bank so that I know they'll always be paid on time. It's easier than trying to remember to write out a check and get it in the mail. My electricity and natural gas are supplied by the same company, and they've averaged my bills and have me on a set "budget" rate that is the same every month all year round. —Colleen

3. I made it clear that going to church wasn't optional. They could go with a good attitude or a bad one, but they were going. I can honestly say I never had to argue the point since making that clear. If their friends stayed Saturday night, they were welcome to come with. If they stayed at a friend's, I'd pick them up early in the morning. —Kathy

4. The dreaded school supply shopping became easiest when I gave them a set amount of money. They could buy whatever they wanted as long as they stayed within their budget. They learned to bypass the gimmicky supplies so they'd have more for clothes and they'd opt to re-use their backpacks or notebooks that were barely used. —Kathy

5. The mantra was, "You never get anything you whine, cry, fuss, or fight over" —Virginia

6. Simplify and downsize. Everything!! Material possessions, activities, fancy meals, decorating, etc. We only have time, money, energy, etc. for those things which are truly important to us. —Deborah

7. We occasionally enjoy praying the rosary at home, but usually, it's done on the way to our Daily Mass or elsewhere. Commutes are getting longer and longer here. This also means that we can also get times table and spelling test practice done in the car too.

Luckily, my daughter gets NO travel sickness, so she can even use her iPad and workbooks for her homeschooling in the car. If the rosaries are finished, I pop on the Bluetooth and get calls done in the car too, especially if there are long wait queues before I get through. —Amy