Jess, 26, was taking RCIA classes when she saw an ad in her parish bulletin and decided to join CatholicMatch in January 2015. “Since I was going through a conversion at that point, it was
important to me to meet someone who shared my faith.”
Dave joined CatholicMatch five days after Jess at the recommendation of his dad. “I thought it would be the best way to meet someone who shared my values with whom I could start a family eventually.”
One day after Dave joined, Jess sent him a smile and he messaged her back hours later. “I didn’t want to make assumptions, but I figured he was interested in me because each time I wrote to him, he responded to everything I said and added his own stories or information. Each time our emails were longer. He also didn’t wait to email me back for a certain number of days—we talked back and forth each day,” says Jess.
After a few days, Jess gave Dave her number. “He called me the next day. The phone call was a big factor in my feelings for him from the start. I was immediately attracted to the way Dave spoke to me on the phone. He was easy to hold a conversation with, polite, and had a really nice laugh. Calling me also showed that he wasn’t afraid to really try to get know me,” shares Jess.
Dave says he called Jess rather than just texting her because he wanted to have a conversation that would allow him to really get to know her.
First Date
Approximately a week after they first made contact on CatholicMatch, Jess and Dave met in person. Because they felt a meal would be too much pressure, they met at a mall that was in between where they both lived.
“When we met in person, I was drawn to the way he held himself, his easy-going demeanor, and of course how cute he is,” says Jess. The couple walked around and talked for four hours, and Jess says she wanted to stay longer.
Dave also felt a connection with Jess. “I felt like our personalities were similar, and that we shared common goals. We were able to enjoy ourselves and have fun without the stresses of having to impress each other. After our first date, I knew I wanted our relationship to continue.”
Jess was also sure that she wanted to continue seeing Dave. “At one point, I realized that I almost reached out to touch him, and I remember that as the moment that I started falling for him,” says Jess.
Long Distance & Previous Relationships
Jess and Dave both live in New York state, but there is still about an hour drive between them. This means that they only have weekends to see each other in person.
“After our first date, we talked on the phone every day that we were apart and saw each other every weekend.”
The distance has been the largest relationship hurdle for Dave. “We’d see each other whenever we could and I even made a surprise trip to see her because I couldn’t stand waiting until the weekend.”
Jess says she actually had to adjust to spending that much time with someone else. “It was difficult for me at first to be with someone so often because I had been single for about two years, and lived alone for longer than that. But after about a month, I felt like he was my best friend, and being with him every weekend was completely natural,” shares Jess.
Four months after they started dating, Jess had an opportunity to move near Dave, but instead she chose a job that was closer to her family. "I understand now why she decided
to move where she did, and we’re at the point now where it’s a priority for both of us to see each other every day. So, we are looking for ways to make that happen,” adds Dave.
While Dave struggled with the distance, Jess had to wrestle with her jealousy over fact that Dave had just gotten out of a long-term relationship a few months earlier. “I kept that in the back of my head as a reservation for awhile. I didn’t realize it at the time, but it made me feel very self-conscious. I have had to change my attitude about it because I know Dave is a very genuine person. I know that he would not have dated me or continued to be with me if there was someone else on his mind; he has given me every reason to trust him,” shares Jess.
Family Response
The weekend after Dave and Jess met for the first time, they met each other’s family. From there, we gradually met each other’s friends and extended families.
Jess says she was open about telling friends and family that she and Dave met online because she was confident in their relationship. “I will admit that it is a little difficult, due to pride. However, most people like to hear the story and are surprised, because we seem so ‘perfect for each other.’”
Still, she says her close family and friends felt a bit of trepidation over her relationship. “They knew that I’ve been burned in the past, and here I am, dating some stranger! But after a few months, they realized how good we are for each other, and it is a non-issue to everyone now”
Dave says that all of his family and friends have been very supportive of their relationship. “Many of the members of my family have said to me that I was lucky to have met someone like Jess. Without CatholicMatch, I probably wouldn’t have been able to meet her.”
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