Anne, 32, from Salem, Oregon was looking for a spouse on CatholicMatch who would love both her and her four-year-old daughter. She joined knowing someone who practiced his Catholic faith was of utmost importance to her.
In summer 2012, Jeremy, 41, from Dallas, Oregon, contacted Anne because he says he was attracted to her smile. “I like that she talked about being family oriented in her profile and that she loved dogs,” says Jeremy. Anne appeared to be a very intelligent and responsible person.
“Once he contacted me, I read through his profile and figured we had a good chance of getting along. I liked all his experience outdoors, and his athletic build. I was also excited about his connection to his family and animals,” shares Anne.
Where's waldo on the first date
Three weeks after Anne and Jeremy started talking on CatholicMatch, they met at an early morning
Mass at Anne’s parish church in Salem for their first date. The date had a rocky start.
“We actually missed each other since there are a couple entrances to this church and we were at opposite ones,” says Anne. She also left her phone in the car, so Jeremy couldn’t contact her. Jeremy says he combed the entire church before eventually finding her.
The second part of their date went much more smoothly. After Mass, they walked through a local park, which then led to drinks at a coffeehouse, and ended with an afternoon movie, Dark Knight Rising.
“The movie choice is humorous since I had just told some of my girlfriends the previous night that I had no desire to see that movie at all. Clearly, I changed my mind when a certain man asked me if I wanted to see it,” laughs Anne.
This is not an ideal time to start dating...
The couple began dating at the end of the summer, and Anne, who is a teacher, says that she knew she would have to work to make time for a social life during the school year. Additionally, she was not yet ready to bring her daughter, Emma, into the relationship. The couple had to plan their dates around when Anne was free and Emma was with her father.
However, these obstacles proved easily surmountable. “Everything about the relationship seemed to progress naturally. We had fun exploring scenic locations together but also had plenty of real life experiences. Sometimes Jeremy would catch up on football while I graded papers. Being together was just easy,” says Anne.
About the annulment
Anne was previously married and went through the annulment process, which she says was lengthy. “The questions I had to answer were intense and complex, but they did prepare me to share my full back story with Jeremy," Anne shares. “I left an abusive marriage, and it was hard to face the memories of that time. However, I felt better having Jeremy know all about it and having him understand some of my fears and insecurities.”
Anne communicates with her ex-husband because they share joint custody of their daughter, but she felt liberated by the annulment. “It allowed me the chance to rebuild my life through a new, stable, and love-filled marriage with Jeremy.”
Mother's Day and the way birds eat
A few months into their relationship, Anne introduced Jeremy to Emma. They continued growing closer by attending Mass at each other’s parishes and having dinner with each other’s families.
The couple bonded over family and their dogs. “He had a black lab, and I had one when we met. He
told me all the stories he could remember about his dog, and he became very close to mine.”
Anne also says she felt herself falling in love when she watched Jeremy with her family. “I remember watching Jeremy talk to my siblings or my parents and feeling so happy with how he easily he fit in. Plus, any time he did something with Emma, I loved him more. He worked with her on hitting a volleyball and throwing a ball, just to give a couple examples. He was always patient and positive, which reminded me to be the same.” Finally, the couple bonded over loving to laugh, whether it was because they were being goofy together, telling a funny story, or watching something humorous on TV.
On Mother’s Day 2013, Jeremy took Anne to Cape Lookout. It was one of the first places they hiked together and was very special to both of them. The end of the trail overlooks the ocean from the tip of the cape, and it is typically filled with people, but for about ten minutes, it was just the two of them.
Jeremy, who has a biology background, distracted Anne by explaining the eating pattern of birds in the area. “By the time I turned, I noticed he was on one knee. Though we had fully discussed marriage, the timing of his proposal was a wonderful surprise,” exclaims Anne. She had to stop herself from telling everyone they saw on the trail about their new engagement.
You had what at your wedding reception?
Anne and Jeremy were married on June 21, 2014 at St. Philip Catholic Church in Dallas, Oregon. The church was filled with family and friends on both sides, and their pastor,
Fr. Michael, gave a “beautiful homily about married couples being the heroes of family life,” says Jeremy. Anne adds, “Our matrimonial Mass had plenty of laughter and times for a few happy tears.”
Is was the reception, however, that wowed their young guests.
Entertainment included a large bouncy house with a slide, a face-painting station, a photo booth with boxes of props, a candy table, and a lot of dancing.
Anne explains, “It was important for us to have Emma represented in our reception and, since many of our friends and families have young children, the event was centered around these little guests. When the kids are happy, so are the parents! It was such a happy afternoon and evening of celebrating our marriage.”
The event took place in a renovated barn on a large landscaped farm, and was catered by a delicious, local Mexican restaurant. “The food was plentiful, and the weather was pretty much perfect and allowed for our several outdoor activities,” she says.
One long hug a day is key
Before Jeremy, Anne says she longed for a secure family life for her daughter, Emma. She found her heart's desire with Jeremy. “Our married life has been filled with happiness, stability, and a sense of wholeness,” shares Anne. “We set a good, solid example of what marriage should be for my daughter. She sees the respect and love we have for each other every day.”
Anne says the key to their harmonious marriage is communication. They keep each other updated on their careers and events, and work through issues when they disagree or argue.
“We always talk to each other before falling asleep. We also make sure that laughter comes into this daily communication; it is an essential part of our communication.”
Prayer has strengthened their marriage: attending Mass together weekly, praying with their daughter, and reciting the Rosary together. “I hope to continue to grow more in our prayer together because I know it will bring us closer together and strengthen our marriage,” says Anne.
“We have also found great comfort in the power of hugs,” adds Anne. “Often, at the end of a long day or the beginning of one, Jeremy is very good about just holding me for a solid minute or more. It might be in front of the fireplace on a cold morning or in the kitchen while cleaning up from dinner. Whenever it happens, it isn’t just a quick embrace. It is one where we fully support each other, physically and emotionally. It gives me a chance to take some deep breaths and remember that I am not facing the day alone—his love is with me wherever I go. It is a simple but powerful message.”
A scary pregnancy changed things
In August 2015, Anne and Jeremy welcomed a little boy into their family. The pregnancy changed their marriage because Anne developed hyperemesis, intense morning sickness, during the sixth week of her pregnancy until the fifteenth week or so.
“I couldn’t work or even force myself to eat and drink at times. I was hospitalized twice and then had to visit the hospital daily for medicine and fluids administered via my PICC line for weeks,” says Anne. She notes that this was a very trying time in their marriage because they missed their routines of
communication and connection.
“Jeremy stuck by my side and helped me through it. Our son, Benjamin, is currently a chunky, healthy nine-month-old. We have sustained sleepless nights and crying fits but have mainly enjoyed watching him grow, change, smile, and laugh.” Having an infant in the house means that they don’t have time to themselves in the evening anymore, but they say that focusing on Ben has brought them closer together despite their lack of alone time.
“Watching Jeremy as a dad brings my love for him to a deeper level.”
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