“I knew the moment I saw her that I was in trouble!” shares Jay, now 57, about meeting Lisa in November 2016.
But, Jay, who had been on some bad first dates, wasn’t so sure that he and Lisa would hit it off before their first date. After Lisa suggested they grab coffee, Jay messaged her: "Liking your idea of meeting for coffee. Don't want to overdo it on our first visit.”
Lisa, now 56, was also feeling cautious. They had messaged back and forth on CatholicMatch for 10 days before their coffee date, but she wouldn’t give him her cellphone number until the day before they met—and then only because they might have trouble finding each other.
Jay recalls, “I really respected Lisa for being so cautious.”
He didn’t have to worry about the date feeling too long. Lisa and Jay had a great connection, and they had so much in common that the conversation flowed naturally. When it came time for their coffee date to end, Jay asked Lisa out for dinner so they could spend more time together.
Lisa was hesitant to join CatholicMatch
Lisa’s first marriage, which has been annulled, ended in a “shocking divorce” after 24 years. “I didn’t rush into the annulment process,” recalls Lisa. “I spent time in counseling and started the process several years after my divorce was finalized when I felt ready. My annulment process was painful, but it was also part of my healing journey.”
When she started to feel like she was ready to love again, Lisa turned to CatholicMatch.
“I live in a very small town, and I’m a teacher, so I didn’t have a lot of opportunities to meet good, Catholic men. A couple from my church met on CatholicMatch and had gotten married, so my priest encouraged me to try CatholicMatch,” shares Lisa.
But she says she wasn’t “the online dating type,” so she kept making excuses about being too busy to set up a profile.
“I’m very cautious and traditional, but one of my best friends and her cousin encouraged me,” remembers Lisa. “One evening, they said they weren’t leaving until I got my profile started. Once I got it started, I got excited.”
Jay, whose first marriage was also annulled, joined CatholicMatch because he was looking for a “lifelong partner” with a strong Catholic faith.
“I wanted a woman whose identity was being Catholic above all other things, who had this woven into every fiber of her being,” says Jay. “I wanted someone whose faith guided the way she lived her life and made all her decisions. I didn’t want someone to pick and choose the parts of Catholicism that worked for her and reject the parts that didn’t.”
The couple adds, “We both thought, ‘I’ll never meet someone like me dating the regular way.’ But when we found out about Catholic Match, we each thought it might work. We are just so thrilled!”
Lisa knew Jay was special.
Jay had just gotten back on CatholicMatch after a few bad experiences when he messaged Lisa, who had been on CatholicMatch for only a couple of days.
“One of the first things that attracted me to Jay's profile was his love of God, his faith, and his love of family. I thought he was very handsome too,” Lisa explains.
What Jay said in his second message, sealed the deal for Lisa. He wrote, "I am ultimately looking for my best friend to share all aspects of my life with. I don't know your experience, but I'm getting disappointed in the importance people put on God in their lives."
Lisa remembers, “At that moment, I knew that he was a special man.”
Jay also connected with Lisa over her values: “Lisa’s love of God, her strong faith, and love of family drew me to her. Those were the most important things to me, but the fact that she was so pretty too, made me feel like I hit the trifecta.”
Lisa knew she didn’t want to date anyone else...
Jay planned their next date as a surprise for Lisa. It started with a visit to the Blessed Sacrament in the little adoration chapel at his church. “I felt like God had brought us together, and I wanted to thank God for that,” shares Jay.
Lisa recalls feeling the same while they were in adoration. “I thanked God for bringing me a man who loved his Catholic faith so much and was so devoted to God.”
After adoration, Jay took Lisa to a special event called the Luminary Walk at a nearby arboretum, which includes over a mile of lighted paths, carolers, little sitting areas with bonfires, and a horse-drawn carriage ride.
“We held hands and walked and talked. The weather was perfect, and it was magical,” reminiscences the couple.
Each of them left convinced they had met someone very special. Lisa had plans to meet another man she met on the website, but after she and Jay went on a couple of dates, she canceled those plans.
Lisa exclaims, “I could see that my relationship with Jay had great potential, and I couldn’t imagine dating anyone else!”
Then, Jay suddenly ended it.
One day, the unthinkable happened. Jay called and told Lisa that he didn’t think they should see each other anymore.
Lisa shares, “It was like he flipped a switch. Everything was going so well. I was heartbroken. The things he said sounded so unlike him. I was so confused. He didn’t even want to talk to me about it.”
A week later, Lisa’s friend suggested that there might be more to the breakup than met the eye. “Things aren’t adding up. Didn’t you say Jay was in a bad bicycle accident? I wonder if he could have a concussion.”
Lisa felt nervous, but she called Jay’s sister, who was a nurse, to ask if they could talk. She expressed her concerns, and Jay’s sister agreed. His sister convinced him to see a doctor, and it turned out that he did have a concussion!
“There were other things going on in his life at the time that weren’t adding up, so the concussion made sense on all fronts,” remembers the couple.
Once he was on the road to recovery, Jay reached out to Lisa to try to repair their relationship.
“Our relationship was tense for a while,” reveals Lisa. “I had been deeply wounded by my first husband, so I had some major trust issues. Those made our situation worse, but eventually, our relationship got back to where it was before the concussion and things started to progress again.”
A coffee shop engagement!
On November 27, 2019, Jay, Lisa, and her daughter, Ellie, stopped at the coffee shop where they had met on their first date exactly three years before.
After ordering and sitting down at the table next to the one where they sat on their first date, Jay got down on one knee and asked Lisa to marry him in front of everyone.
“I let out a scream of surprise and excitement before saying, ‘Yes!’” recalls Lisa.
Everyone started to cheer and clap.
Lisa added, “It was so special that Jay had talked to my daughter ahead of time, got her approval, as well as the approval of my parents. He had arranged for Ellie to be there when he proposed. That meant the world to me!”
Then, they had a Covid wedding...
Jay and Lisa said “I Do” on December 27, 2020, on the Feast of the Holy Family with their families by their sides.
Jay’s sons shared the role of best man, Jay’s daughter was matron of honor, Lisa’s daughter was maid of honor, and Jay’s grandson was a ring bearer.
“The Feast of the Holy Family was an especially beautiful day to get married. We were joining our two families, and we knew the best way to do this was to emulate the Blessed Mother Mary and St. Joseph,” says the couple.
But the pandemic made their wedding planning rocky. “It was as if we planned five weddings because plans kept getting canceled, replanned, and canceled again due to various regulations. Finally, we realized that God knew best, so we just asked Him to make our wedding what He wanted it to be. He helped us realize that we would feel best if we put everyone’s safety and well-being at the forefront. We offered up all our disappointments and sacrifices, and in the end, we had a very small and beautiful wedding with about 20 guests and no reception. Our focus was on the mass and the sacrament of marriage, the way it should be.”
The wedding included the Marian Consecration Song by Anna Nuzzo because they share a great love for Blessed Mother Mary, and they both say the rosary daily.
Lisa shared, “The Consecration Song was an emotional moment for me. My son passed away in 2015, and Mother Mary was with me in a powerful way that day and in the years of sorrow following his death. During the Consecration Song, kneeling in front of Mary, I realized my sorrow had come full circle, Mary had been with me during my entire journey and was there with us at our wedding in such a powerful way celebrating our joy!”
Their honeymoon location in Jamaica ended up being closed, so they opted to spend a few nights in the honeymoon suite of a historic hotel on Country Club Plaza in Kansas City with a view of the Plaza Lights. Instead of a reception, they had a private dinner in their room.&nnsp;
They both agree, “In the end, our wedding day was perfect in every way. It was as if God knew exactly what we needed the whole time.”
Continue Reading
