Her Illnesses Did Not Bother Him

In 2004—after being a member for four years—Joy, in her 30s, was saying goodbye to each of her CatholicMatch friends.

She felt that she had too many health problems to pursue a relationship—she had received a diagnosed of spinal stenosis, degenerative disk, and fibromyalgia. Sometimes, she experienced so much pain that she would have to crawl rather than walk.

Just as she was about to sign off from the site, a message from Patrick, 37, from South Carolina, showed up on her CatholicMatch account. Curious, Joy, from California, read his message and she looked at his profile. Joy, who has two teenage boys, noticed that Patrick was the father of six young children ages three to eleven.

She said to herself, “This guy has six children. I'm going to make sure to warn him how the Church views divorce and how with six kids, he should go back to his wife.”

He liked her boldness and concern for his children

Patrick felt impressed by how secure Joy was in her faith and how she was bold enough to try to bring him to Jesus. “She cared about bringing my soul and the kids' souls to God and less about romance and about the possibility of a dating relationship. With that, she scored like 100 points in my book.”

He adds, “I had to make sure she knew the divorce was not my fault.  Her asking was almost like a test for me to explain what happened. I wasn't comfortable doing so, but there is something about the peace that I felt on CatholicMatch that allowed me the ability to reveal those things [the tragedy of the first marriage] that I couldn't reveal to other people who asked.”

Both Joy and Patrick had experienced abandonment by their first spouses. Neither believed in divorce, and they both had done everything in their power to save their marriages before getting annulments.

Joy had plans to move on

Joy had no intention of having a romantic relationship with Patrick. She was facing too many health concerns to put that on anyone. She'd dated other men on CatholicMatch, and once they realized the extent of her problems, they’d disappeared.

Patrick didn’t care that Joy’s health was poor. He wanted to take care of her.

“I wanted her to know that she had value. I was looking to serve Christ in a wife, so I wasn't afraid to serve,” he says. “I told her, ‘Don't worry about cleaning the house, don't worry about sweeping the floor, don't worry about cooking. I can do it when I get home; we can make this work.”

She never gave him her phone number

They would talk two to three hours on the phone and when Joy hung up, she would say to herself, “This will be our last conversation. I was so resolved that I would not call this guy anymore, and I didn't give him my phone number, so he couldn’t call me.”

Then the next day, she would remember how happy talking to Patrick made her feel. “I was like, okay, how come I'm so peaceful and happy after our phone conversation?” she recalls.

So, Joy would call Patrick again and again.

“We were addicted to talking. We would talk for hours, and we would pray the rosary together,” Patrick shares.

Joy never stopped calling.

In 2005, six months later, Patrick and Joy were married. It was a wild ride that was about to get even wilder.

Due to abandonment issues, both Joy’s and Patrick’s children were suffering and acting out.

“Because of the divorce and the situations in their lives, each of the children exhibited some kind of sickness either psychological or mental. Some were experiencing hyperactivity, ADHD, discipline problems. Some were cutting, were depressed, or had anxiety,” Patrick explains.

With Joy’s physical problems and the children’s issues, Joy was spending considerable time at doctors' offices.

Even though Patrick and Joy were terribly in love, the kids were pulling them apart because they were trying to break them up.

“I realized that only God could fix our problems.”

I didn't know what to do.

The situation got so bad that Joy took her wedding ring off—and like any good Catholic— drove several hours to EWTN in Hanceville, Alabama. Joy needed to get away from the turmoil to think clearly about what she should do next. While she was seeking spiritual advice, chaos was happening at home and the cops were called. One of their children was taken to jail.

Eventually, after the crisis, their family was able to overcome their problems and receive spiritual and physical healing. Overcoming their trials, they started a ministry, Cross of St. Benedict Society, to help married couples.

“Because of our healing, we are helping families heal by accompanying them in their wounds and bringing them to the Sacraments of the Church,” he explains.

For their full story, watch their fascinating interview with Joy and Jim Pinto on EWTN.