Her Chickens Caught His Eye
6
Perusing his matches, Andy, from Texas, noticed that Beth, from Kansas, had chickens.
He sent Beth a message saying, "You've got fresh chicken eggs, and I've got raw honey—let's do some trading!"
"He had me at 'raw honey,'" laughs Beth, 31.
Andy had lost his first wife a few years earlier.
When Andy's first wife died, he was 31, and their two children were ages three and five. When thinking about dating, Andy would go back and forth between wanting to date and wanting to remain single.
"I knew to have a mother for them was best for my children. I couldn't begin to imagine growing up as a child without both parents," says Andy, 35. "It didn't take too long for me to come to peace with dating because, in my heart, I knew it was best for my kids and me. My ultimate goal is to get to heaven, and I knew marriage would help me get there. Plus, life is too good not to share it!"
For Andy, 35, online dating was the easiest way for him to find a spouse because he could be introduced to women without spending too much time away from his kids.
He asked to video chat right off the bat.
In the summer of 2016, when Beth received Andy's message on CatholicMatch, she not only appreciated that Andy had backyard bees, she liked he also had two kids similar ages. Beth's first marriage was annulled. She also was impressed that he made his Catholic faith a priority.
"We messaged a few times that first day, and then he asked if we could video chat! I was impressed and a little taken back with his forwardness, but I appreciated that he didn't want to waste time with constant messaging," Beth, 31, says. "Online dating takes a lot of time, and it's hard to justify making it a priority, especially as a single parent."
Beth and Andy would plan what days would work to call each other to ensure that the kids were in bed.
On their first date, he bought a 1973 Scout Jeep.
Not long after meeting online, Andy drove from Texas to Wichita, KS. On their first date, Andy took Beth to look at a 1973 Scout that he was interested in buying. The vehicle was located just 20 minutes away from Beth's home.
"We test drove this thing that barely ran, barely had brakes, barely had seatbelts, and we nearly ended up in a ditch. Andy bought it," she laughs.
Andy more than enjoyed his date with Beth. He thought she had a lot to offer.
"She seemed to take what life brought her way and enjoy it to the fullest. I always try to find positives in any situation and felt she did the same. Plus, she was more beautiful in person than her pictures ever portrayed!" he shares.
She ended up slowly ghosting him after their second date.
Later in the summer, the couple met halfway in Oklahoma City for their second date, but it would be their last—or so Beth thought. Even though Andy seemed terrific and she liked how he had so many things going for him, she didn't feel she could manage a long-distance relationship.
Beth shares, "I didn't want to move away from my family, and I was starting the prerequisites for nursing school and felt I didn't have the time to commit to a relationship. As I was losing interest, I started getting slower at responding to his texts, he caught on and said he thought we were at different places in our lives and I just never responded."
Beth felt horrible about it after the fact and would think of him once in a while over the next year, but she convinced herself it was silly to apologize now after waiting so long.
Andy felt disappointed that things didn't work out between them. He says, "I liked her and enjoyed being with her. I'd tell myself she was just too cool and fun to hang around a guy like me."
One day, in November of 2017, Beth began thinking about Andy again.
She felt a pull to contact him. Over text, she asked him how he was doing.
"I was shocked! Since she texted me, I figured she was still single, and I definitely wanted to see if I could meet up with her again," he recalls.
"But I had no intention of restarting things. I was still adamant about not doing long distance relationships," she explains.
However, Beth regretted her decision to text him. She didn't want to mislead him or hurt him again. Even so, she agreed to the phone call to catch up with Andy. One of the first things they both said during the phone conversation was how they were both sorry about how things ended last time.
They talked for several hours that night. Beth felt torn about Andy.
"'This guy is so awesome,' she thought. "'Why does he have to live in Texas?"
Against her better judgment, Beth agreed to meet up with Andy again.
Andy says, "I was on cloud 9."
But Beth wasn't looking forward to meeting again.
"I was sure it would just end up like the last time, and I immediately regretted agreeing to drive two and a half hours to meet halfway," she shares.
At the beginning, she regretted agreeing to another date.
Then unexpectedly, Beth ended up having a fantastic day with Andy, and she didn't want it to end.
"On the way home, I ended up getting a flat tire, in the dark, in the middle of nowhere, Kansas! Andy kept me company on the phone for almost two hours while I waited for roadside assistance," she says.
When Beth got home, she felt confused by all of the conflicting emotions. She asked for advice from friends and family, and she prayed.
"If this relationship was supposed to happen and if God wanted me to move to Texas, he would have to make me okay with it," she remembers. "I felt a sense of immediate peace and the weight lifted."
The couple continued talking via text and phone calls and started officially dating about a month later.
They committed to seeing each other in person every other weekend. They made sure that their budding relationship didn't disrupt their children's lives.
Around 9 p.m. each night, after their kids went to bed, they talked on the phone. They also texted each other throughout the day to stay connected and wrote letters on occasion too.
Andy shares that it was so easy for him and Beth to get to know one another. She didn't shy away from talking about difficult topics.
"We'd discuss subjects more directly and without fear," he says. "Occasionally, a difficult subject would arise, and I'd be so nervous but knew we needed to talk about it. After bringing up a difficult topic, time after time, I shortly realized I had nothing to fear all along because she had similar situations, or we'd agreed with each other."
The couple came up with a unique way for their children to get to know one another. Their children first became pen pals before they knew that their parents were dating. Beth and Andy wanted to protect their children if their relationship didn't work out.
He wanted to propose in a unique way.
Andy proposed after three-and-a-half months. Being married before, Andy had a pretty good idea of what type of girl he wanted to marry. He had been carrying the ring around for a couple of weeks because he didn't know where he should pop the question.
"I wanted to propose to Beth in a unique way," he explains. "I told her I was bringing a new rifle with a scope. I printed off a target for her to shoot with the rifle--the letters on the target read perfectly, 'I love you, Beth! Will you marry me?'"
He adds, "With your naked eye—100 yards--away you couldn't read it but, with the scope, you could. On the left was a large black circle with a bold, white 'Yes!' at the center. In the right-bottom corner was a small, thin outlined white circle with a simple "no" in the center."
It was midmorning when they left for the range; the wind was blowing cold out of the north, and Andy had no proposal backup plan.
"We forged on to the range, and she didn't seem to mind or think anything unusual about shooting when a cold front is coming in. I left her in the warm pickup near the bench while I walked 100 yards to hang up the special targets."
She almost caught him.
Beth almost foiled Andy's plans. Just before he pulled out the target, Beth showed up behind Andy. "She felt bad I was out there alone in the cold!"
Andy convinced her to go back to the vehicle. "I explained I was going to hang up a target that'd be fun to see through the scope, and luckily she accepted that without much question and went back to the pickup. Whew!"
Andy walked back to get Beth. By this time, snow was blowing sideways. "We discussed how we were there already and might as well shoot the rifle a few times," he recalls.
"Somehow, I was able to pull off the proposal and keep it a surprise."
Andy lay down and shot at the other target a couple of times, then got up and let Beth take her aim. While she was finding the target through the scope, Andy got down on one knee next to her.
Luckily, Beth shot the "Yes! target.
Happily ever after...nursing school.
"On November 17, 2018, at Blessed Sacrament in Wichita, KS we were married after 11 months of long-distance dating," she shares. "Unfortunately, that didn't mean an end to the distance. I had one more semester of nursing school to look forward to, so we also had four months of a long-distance marriage before my kids and I could finally move to Texas."
Ten months after their marriage, Beth and Andy welcomed a baby girl into their family. Andy is also in the process of adopting Beth's children.
"Altogether, our children are ten, nine, seven, seven, and one month. Now they all have both a mom and a dad. God has truly blessed us abundantly."