“When I first joined CatholicMatch, in 2012, I had the mentality that the man has to take the lead and go after the woman, but I learned in online dating, the woman has to be willing to take the initiative,” says Fran, 35.
If she hadn’t been willing to make the first move, then her husband Andrew may have never met her. “I wasn’t necessarily looking for someone that far away—Fran was living in Chicago, and I was in Colorado. She had been a member for a while, and the newer members show up first. Who knows if I would have come across her profile or not. I definitely agree that being a little aggressive is necessary for women in online dating,” explains Andrew, 38.
The first try was a miss for Fran
After having discerned a religious vocation for five years, Fran decided marriage was her true calling, but she was only interested in marrying a Catholic. “I buy online very often, so I joined CatholicMatch to shop for a husband,” she laughs.
Fran did meet another guy on CatholicMatch her first time on the site, but it turned out he wasn’t serious about getting married, and he was only seeking friendship. After that experience, she took a break for six months, and then she became an active member again.
“I saw Andrew’s picture—I am really shallow—I thought he was a cute guy, so I sent him a smiley face,” she laughs.
Andrew was searching for something deeper
Andrew was a lapsed Catholic who was searching for something. He thought that adventure might be what was missing in his life. Andrew had wanted to do something adventuresome after graduating from college, but instead, he accepted a corporate job. In 2008, when the economy crashed, he lost his job. Understandably, this was a difficult period in his life, but it also gave him a chance to seek more exciting work. “I grew up on the water, and I was always an outdoors person, so I became a fly fishing guide. I was a guide for over four years in Colorado and Alaska, and during the off-season, I worked in ski towns.”
In spite of his thrilling profession, his search for fulfillment wasn’t over. He came to realize that it was God that he was missing in his life. “I had a profound conversion one summer in Alaska. Then when I came back to live in Aspen that winter, I found a Catholic Church there that had a wonderful priest and a vibrant young Catholic community. The priest gave me spiritual direction. That’s why I joined CatholicMatch, and then I found Fran.”
“No, no, I found him,” Fran chimes in.
How’s the weather?
Beyond Andrew’s good looks, Fran thought him attractive because he agreed with the teachings of the Church. “I found it really helpful that CatholicMatch includes in the profile questions whether someone agrees or not with crucial Church teaching.”
In January of 2013, when Andrew received Fran’s smiley face emoticon, he was very open to the process of online dating, so he wasn’t bothered that she made first contact and that she lived on the other side of the country. He responded to her prompting, and it blossomed from there.
“We asked each other simple questions to start with to open the conversation window,” Andrew recalls. “Like, ‘How’s the weather?’”
After those simple messages, they began texting and calling each other, and then they started seeing each other every day on Facetime.
The name Tobias kept jumping out at me
Both Fran and Andrew had been praying to St. Raphael’s intercession in their lives. “I had a prayer card that someone had given to me before I went to Alaska my second season as a guide,” Andrew explains. “The prayer was perfect for me because I was flying in a seaplane every day and on a boat. The prayer says, ‘He guides those who are flying and traveling on land and sea.’ St. Raphael was very dear to me he was a big part of my deep conversion,”
Fran was praying to St. Raphael because it was St. Raphael, in the Old Testament, who had brought Tobias and Sarah together. “Andrew was showing me during a Facetime conversation his St. Raphael prayer card, and I didn’t say anything but the name Tobias kept jumping out at me. I knew then that Andrew was the man God gave me, and that I was going to marry him.”
Slow down, Fran!
In March of 2013, Andrew flew to Chicago for a long weekend. “I remember getting off the plane and walking through the airport towards the people waiting. Fran was sort of off to the side trying to hide.”
“I was trying to make sure this guy was fine!” she jokes.
“I spotted her right away,” Andrew recalls. “When we first hugged. I knew something was there. It was real and special.”
He also remembers that Fran scared him with her Chicago driving. “Everyone in the city has to drive so aggressively. I was sitting in the passenger seat a little scared. She’s a great driver, but I had to ask her to slow down. Chicago traffic is crazy.”
Andrew had purchased a lunch cruise for them. “I remember that day was so windy. We just sat there and talked. It was very special," says Fran.
Their relationship progressed quickly. Fran came to Aspen to visit Andrew during her spring break from her job as a Montessori teacher. Then when ski season was over, Andrew went to Chicago for three weeks. In July that same year, she came to Aspen for three weeks—it was then that Andrew popped the questions. “We were both serious about getting married, and I knew what kind of man I was looking for, so the process was quick,” Fran says.
One ring to rule them all
Andrew’s family was visiting, and while out shopping, his mother and sister noticed a jewelry store with a “going out of business” sign. “My mom called me, and was hinting, ‘If you are thinking about asking Fran to marry you, this store’s going out of business, so you should come take a look.’”
Andrew and Fran had already discussed getting married. They both truly desired to start a family. “When I was still in Chicago, I had gone to a jewelry store and taken a photo of a ring that I liked,” Fran explains. “I was just being really aggressive.”
“But I asked you to get sized,” he counters good-naturedly.
After his mom’s phone call, Andrew was trying to think of a way to get away for a few hours. He offered some excuse to Fran, and he went down to the jewelry store. “The store had the exact ring that she had taken a picture of, so I bought it. I knew when I saw the ring that it was a sign that this is for real.”
A few weeks later, Andrew proposed with a backdrop of the beautiful alpine lake below him. “We were standing 10-11,000 feet above the lake on a cliff with a little platform that we could step out on that overlooked the lake. For some reason, there’s usually people around. At this moment everyone had disappeared.”
“We’re about to leave, and he bends down and looks in his backpack and says, ‘Oh, I forgot about something,'” Fran says. “And then he took out the ring!”
“I said, ‘Will you marry me?'” Andrew adds.
“Of course, I was overjoyed and said. ‘Yeeeeeees!'”
Low maintenance bride
Atypically, Fran let her mother-in-law plan the entire wedding. “I didn’t grow up in American culture, so I didn’t really care about a dream wedding. As long as we were getting married in the Catholic Church, I didn’t really care about the rest. I’m a minimalist.
They had the wedding in Alabama, on December 14, 2013, where Andrew grew up because the only people who had to travel down there were Fran and her three sisters. “It was amazing what his mother did for us. Everything turned out great. Mobile is beautiful, and Sacred Heart Catholic Church is a beautiful old church right on the bay.”
Andrew and Fran had wanted to start a family right away. Three months into their marriage, they conceived a little girl, and eighteen months later Fran also delivered a baby boy.
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