It isn’t often that a first date includes a cross-examination with the law.
Since she was in the area, Susan had made a last-minute phone call to Bernie to see if he could meet up for lunch. A law enforcement widow of seven years, Susan had known a few people who had very bad experiences on other popular dating sites, so she prepared for this date with her own back up in place! Her police friends were happy to support her, and Bernie played right along...
“I did have a sense of being vetted,” Bernie comments. “But it was all in good humor. Susan and her friends were so easy to talk with, and I realized they are solid, good people. That such folks so highly valued Susan and were obviously supportive in the vetting process was intriguing.”
In fact, they got along so well that Susan invited Bernie on a second date the very next night, which was her birthday party. Since the attending friends were also in law enforcement, Bernie good-naturedly handed over his driver’s license.
Bernie and Susan had started communicating via CatholicMatch about five months earlier.
Bernie thought Susan was beautiful and they found a common interest in both being life-long motorcycle riders. Susan says, “I had entertained the idea of a dating site, generally explored a few highly advertised ones without joining, and then began to wonder if there was a site for like-minded Catholics. I found CatholicMatch online, and found it to be much more enjoyable than I would ever have thought!”
Bernie adds, “I had seen other sites, and was not really interested in them. I tried some, but the results were unsatisfactory. CatholicMatch was different. I was quickly hooked on the forums, and met lots of great folks.” Bernie had been on CM for several years when Susan, a short-time member, answered one of the questions he had listed on his profile. At first, Susan was only interested in a friendship. “I never thought I would marry again and was just really looking for someone to have some dinners and adventures with. I had two homes, lots of friends, and traveled a lot, but I didn’t realize how much I was missing the companionship of a close relationship.”
Susan first responded to Bernie’s profile because she loved his picture.
“He had such a happy, open face,” she says. As she continued to get to know him, she really enjoyed his innate curiosity, love of learning, strong work ethic, and sense of humor. Bernie was impressed by Susan’s intelligence, empathy, broad range of interests, and sense of humor. “I will confess that Susan’s ‘normal’ height and a stunning style in dress and decor presented a marvelous first impression,” he recalls. On their first date, Susan rose to her full height of 5’10”, plus 4-inch heels and Bernie found himself a bit stunned to be looking at her eye-to-eye.
The friendship eventually grew into something more serious, though there were challenges to overcome.
Susan had been through counseling after the loss of not only her husband but her son and daughter-in-law as well. Bernie had been through a painful divorce and annulment. They also lived 200 miles apart in the summer and 1600 miles apart in the winter, when Susan lived in Tucson while Bernie lived in Portland. The couple dated for 2 ½ years, and they have fond memories of that time.
Bernie remembers the first time Susan hugged him and he somehow felt at home again. He even wrote a poem about it! When Susan’s mother died, Susan left for Tucson shortly after the funeral and didn’t get to see her tombstone placed. “Bernie drove 150 miles to the town, and with great difficulty located the grave, placed roses on her's, dad’s, and my late husband’s graves and then took pictures to send to me. It became a gift for my whole family,” Susan reminisces. They also had a penchant for dancing in unusual places, including the middle of the airport and at the restaurant where they had first met. “It was a slow time of day and a song came on. Bernie stood and held out his hand and we danced!” Susan laughs.
After Bernie presented Susan with an engagement ring at a historic hotel in Tucson, there was much to be done before the wedding. Susan at first planned to wear a suit but ended up purchasing a wedding dress instead. “It was so fun to have friends participate with me in picking the exact thing I wanted Bernie to see me in at the church,” she smiles. As for Bernie, “All Susan’s friends and my children were unbribable! No one would show me a photo of the dress!”
They were married September 15, 2018 by a wonderful priest at the church Bernie’s family has attended for over 100 years.
It was an intimate gathering of 50 people, and according to Bernie, “Her dress was perfect!” He adds, “All the long waiting, growing closer in God’s grace came together when we stood at the altar for His blessing.” They were thrilled that most of their families were able to attend and get to know each other.
Shortly after, the happy couple made the decision to move to Tucson full-time. And what are the highlights of their marriage thus far? “A close, loving relationship,” Susan says. “With lots of good conversation and much travel with fun adventures everywhere we go.” Bernie continues, “I had been doubtful that so much love and excitement and faith would be found in one person. God proved me wrong.” This couple feels blessed to have found a family in each other and faith grounded in God’s love.
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