When Katherine and Joseph tell people how they met, they say: “Mary and Joseph introduced us.” The couple met in late September 2012 and were married the following September. “Our first chat went from a few minutes to a few hours. We agreed to chat again the next day and the next and within a few weeks we were communicating by phone, email, Skype, and everything but smoke signals,” says the couple. They talked to CatholicMatch about their charming courtship and a little about married life.
Why did you join CatholicMatch?
Katherine: The summer of 2012 is when it all began. The past few years had seemed like a whirlwind. I had finished college, then felt called to religious life. I spent three wonderful years discerning with a congregation only to discover I wasn't called to vow my life to the Heavenly Spouse. I had moved back with my parents and was just getting settled into my dream job as a special education teacher when the question began to nag at me: "Now what does God want of me?" Was I called to marriage and family life? How would I ever be able to find someone who shared my love of the Mass, the Sacraments, the Rosary, and all those aspects of the faith I had grown up with? It seemed impossible that I would find a man who shared my interests and understood the journey I had been through, especially in my little obscure town in Maryland. An ad on the back of my parish bulletin piqued my curiosity. "Meet Catholic Singles on CatholicMatch.com” it read and so I set up an account in August, not really expecting to make more than casual acquaintances.
Joseph: Meanwhile, in Texas where I was stationed, I had just finished speaking to my pastor, telling him of my desire to find a spouse and asking prayers that God would lead me to her. Online dating was never my taste, but following my pastor's suggestion, I decided to find the most suitable site for me. I read reviews online and realized that CatholicMatch was the best, so I signed up in mid-September. Earlier, I had decided that the determining factor for the choice of my spouse would be that she had devotion to Mother Mary or was willing to join my devotion to her
I felt an attraction to the Hispanic culture because of the strong faith often found there and the language. Both Latin America and Spain speak Spanish, as did my favorite saints: Josemaría Escrivá, Ignatius of Loyola, and Theresa of Avila. I had begun a devotion to these Spanish saints in college back in my home country of Nigeria. I saw in them simplicity, a fervor for the faith, and a love for the Blessed Mother—traits I wanted in a wife.
What was your initial experience like on CatholicMatch?
Katherine: I enjoyed my first month on the site. The articles and forum were both inspiring and reassuring. The chatroom was my favorite feature. I enjoyed engaging in conversations about the faith with men and women around the country and even the world. Occasionally, someone would message me wanting to talk about similar interests and I enjoyed these also but no one really caught my attention. I decided to start a novena to St. Joseph. I knew he would help me find a man like himself—strong, courageous, honorable, and devoted to Our Lady. He came through faster than I expected.
One day, halfway through the Novena, I was enjoying a chatroom discussion when I received a private message from Joseph. We exchanged small talk, and I learned that he had just returned home from a Legion of Mary meeting in his parish. That caught my interest immediately since I had been in Legion most of my life. He also loved to pray the Rosary and attend daily Mass. He said that he found my profile interesting especially the part about my devotion to Our Lady and the fact that I wanted a spouse who would help me and my children become saints. This too was his desire; in fact, he felt that the Blessed Mother led him to me. I was blown away.
Joseph: I met a couple of people but only Katherine met my requirement. In fact, she exceeded it; we were both Legionaries, totally consecrated to Our Lady and were Catechists. As a plus, she spoke Spanish!
What was that first meeting like?
Katherine & Joseph: Meeting in person for the first time, seemed more like two lifetime friends reuniting. We felt a special bond immediately and the weekend seemed too short. We continued corresponding even when Joseph was offshore of Africa on a drilling rig. Distance and time zones didn't seem to matter; our hearts were growing closer together with each passing day.
How did the Blessed Virgin and St. Joseph play a part in your relationship?
Katherine: It seemed like the more we discovered about each other, the more it seemed that we were destined for each other. I didn't want us to get carried away simply by our emotions, so we agreed to pause from our chats and pray a novena and see where God led us. It was a given that the novena would be through the intercession of Our Lady and St. Joseph.
The answer to my novena came by way of a religious sister, who after hearing of my discernment process, reassured me that marriage was indeed God's will for me and that Our Lady and St. Joseph would lead me to my husband; I just had to trust. She suggested a novena. I mentioned I was in the middle of one and I told her about Joseph and she said it sounded like a match made in heaven! I took this as our sign and quickly gave Joseph the go-ahead to come and visit. Joseph was stationed all the way in Texas as an electronic engineer for an oil servicing company, but that didn't deter him. As soon as he was able and I broke the news to my parents that I had met someone on a Catholic dating site, he came to Maryland.
Joseph: We got engaged in March of 2013 and were married a year ago on September 7th. Our Lady and St. Joseph had their hand even in the wedding. We never dreamed we would be married on the eve of Blessed Mother's birthday in the Immaculate Conception Chapel on the campus of Mount St. Mary's University in the valley of St. Joseph in Maryland. From the beginning, even before we met, our marriage was dedicated to St. Joseph and Our Blessed Mother and through them, we hope to journey through this life growing ever closer with each passing day to God and one another.
What was the biggest surprise about marriage for each of you?
Katherine: I think two people uniting together for the rest of their lives is an adjustment for anyone. Every person has their own unique habits and personalities. We had the added benefit of coming from two very different cultures. Joseph is from Nigeria and I am from Central America. We integrated both cultures into our wedding and continue to learn from each other every day. Learning the other's language provides us with comic relief on a daily basis. I was taken by surprise one night when Joseph asked for a torch. I was wracking my brains figuring out where I would find a flaming stick and realized he meant a flashlight. Joseph was so proud he learned how to say "wife" in Spanish but quickly learned one letter does make a difference. He's the "esposo", not me. Sometimes not being fluent in the other language can be a frustration, especially during family visits, but it doesn't take away from the joy of realizing God brought us together for a reason.
Joseph: My wife is sensitive, so she is easily moved to tears. Therefore, I am very conscious of what and how I say something since I hate to see her cry. A couple of months ago, she was moved to tears because of a situation associated with my joblessness. That night I shed tears too and then I thanked her for her tears. Later that night I told her that God will be definitely moved by our tears. Within a couple of weeks, I got my dream job.
What advice would you give to members who are searching for their spouses?
Katherine: If you ladies are anything like me, you probably have a grocery list of traits you've always wanted in a husband. He has to be Catholic and 6' 3" and have blue eyes and like to eat Italian food. But in reality, it doesn't always work out that way. It's fine to have dreams but realize God already has a much greater plan. If the man who is pursuing you has a deep love for God and is striving for holiness....hold on to him! I never wanted a long distance relationship, but God changed that when I met Joseph and fell in love with a man from across the Atlantic. Pray during your courtship time for discernment and after marriage, for strength. We would not be where we are today were it not for the daily Rosary and the intercession of Our Blessed Mother.
Joseph: My advice to members searching for their spouses is first to have a basic understanding of oneself. It’s only when one understands oneself that he can understand the other. This basic understanding comes only when one strives to live a life of purity in heart and mind. One should not seek sexual pleasures first, it blinds. It will come later.
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