Many of us have heard the summer hits, “Blurred Lines” by Robin Thicke and “Same Love” by Macklemore which have many dancing to the tune of modern “love.” These tunes are catchy, but the message can leave us, as the song says, between “blurred lines.” So I’d like to draw some straight lines about love so we can clearly understand the love that we should listen to and celebrate.
Definitions of Love
The first straight line we will draw is showing how these songs miss the mark on love. These songs “Blurred Lines” and “Same Love” speak of love in a confusing way which at first appears correct, but if you look at their messages, it is clear these can’t be definitions of love.
“Blurred Lines” reduces love to an urge, not even an emotion which is a common view held by many today. It says, “I know you want it cause you’re a good girl.” According to the song, if we want a good time, to find “love,” we have to fulfill our sexual urges. In other words, the lines are blurred until we give into our desires.
Then there is the song, “Same Love” by Macklemore. He reduces love by relativizing it. He states that all love is the same, thus equal so we should support them all. Again, this can seem like a good thing, but if we look closer, we realize that this definition of love doesn’t match up with our experience or reality and reduces love to a counterfeit.
So now that we’ve looked at the blurred lines; let’s straighten them out by showing how these definitions of love are wrong. “Blurred Lines” states in the song what would happen if this songs’ definition of love is true. The song says, “If you can’t hear what I’m tryin' to say…okay now he was close, tried to domesticate ya. But you’re an animal, baby it’s in your nature…You’re a good girl, I know you want it.” This is what’s at stake here, if we reduce love to an urge that needs to be fulfilled, we reduce ourselves to animals who “want it!”
We Are Meant for Love
The problem is, we’re not animals, but human persons; we don’t need domesticating or have our emotions control us; we need to control our emotions; we are not made for “it” (sex), but made for love (which can only be personal not impersonal)! We see this by realizing the fact that nobody’s ever died from not having sex, but many have died of a broken heart. The ability to love is what makes a “good girl” not the ability to fulfill sexual urges. We must always remember, we are meant to love and be loved, not as animals, but as human beings and this is the kind of love that God made us for.
As for Macklemore’s “Same Love;” his argument that all love is the same is also a smokescreen. We know through experience that all love is NOT the same. We do not love our siblings in the same way we love our friends. We do not love our parents in the same way we love our pets. If all love is the same; that would mean if someone loves his dog, he should be able to marry him. If someone loves her parents, she should be able to marry them. If someone loves fried chicken, he should be able to marry it. Of course, we know that this does not match up with reality.
He also misses the point that love is not just an attraction or an emotion. I, as a man, can be attracted to many women, but that does not mean that I should marry all of them.
Love is Sacrificial
The non-“Blurred line” version of love is sacrificial. It goes beyond urges, emotions, and the false notion that all love is the same. When we are willing to sacrifice even when we do not feel like doing something, that’s a showing of true love. We are made for one love, which is a true love, God’s love, but it is declared in various degrees. Pet to owner, friendship, family, and marriage can all be termed as “love,” but this does not mean they are all equal forms of it.
A pet to owner is the lowest of the four. Friendship is higher than pet to owner because all human relationships are a higher form of love. Love for family is a stronger type of love than friendship because the family helps make you into the person you are. Marriage is a specific kind of love that is not the same as the others because it embraces all the others (the human relationships) and creates an inseparable bond which is open to life! It is a complete self-giving, other oriented love, not self-centered or “me”-oriented disillusionment of it.
Let’s walk through these blurred lines. Let’s truly liberate ourselves, not to be animals or to give love a name that is trivial, but to embrace love in truth; embrace the “same love” of a love that is worth sacrificing for because it brings us fulfillment and wants what’s best for us. This love is holiness and this is the love God has made for us. So, as the song ends, “Everybody get up!” and live in true love!
(There’s a song I posted that states these truths called “Real Love” if you like musical truth).
Find Your Forever.
CatholicMatch is the largest and most trusted
Catholic dating site in the world.
