Bev & Ken Gave Presents to Each Other on the First Date

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At the urging of her friends, Bev, 45, joined CatholicMatch in hopes of finding someone she could grow in her faith with. Ken, 45, had similar motivations: “I wanted to find a life partner who shared the same faith as me.”

Bev had been on CatholicMatch for one month when Ken answered her survey questions. “One of the 

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questions was, ‘Which of the following is most important in a match: faith, values, emotional attraction, or physical attraction?’ In most replies, guys responded all of the above. Ken chose having faith as the most important, which really touched my heart and made him stand out. I remember thinking, ‘Wow, guys like this really exist? This guy could be different,’” says Bev. She sent Ken a message and then waited for a reply.

Ken had a six-month subscription that had previously expired, but he was still looking at matches and messages periodically as a non-paying member. “I received a couple messages from Bev, which intrigued me. After viewing her profile, I renewed my membership to be able to read messages and reply to her.” Ken says that when viewing Bev’s profile, he was attracted to her “quick wit, bubbly personality, and her beautiful smile right off the bat.” Ken also shared that her strong faith-story inspired him to grow in his own faith.

Beverly appreciated the fact that Ken was open to sharing his Catholic faith and the possibility of growing in it together. “I also liked Ken’s easy-going personality, sense of humor, and great communication skills, as well as strong connection and love for his family.” In addition, the couple bonds over the fact that they are both from families of five children.

First Date

About three and a half weeks after they began emailing each other, the couple met in St. Louis, MO, which is halfway between their respective homes in Lake Ozark, MO and Peoria, IL. The date was planned for 10 am to 5 pm, which would allow ample time for visiting local St. Louis attractions.

“Before meeting, we both agreed to be upfront if we did not feel a connection that it could be “Five O'Clock somewhere” at any time,” says Bev. This is a reference to the Jimmy Buffet song "It's Five O'Clock Somewhere" and meant either of them could end the date earlier than five without hard feelings.

Bev’s mom had just moved into a retirement center in St. Louis, so Ken met her there. The couple greeted each other with a big hug and presents. They brought each other gifts on the first date. It turned out that 

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both of them share the same love language—giving gifts.

"On our first date, Ken brought me items that he knew I would love. Five containers of my favorite gum, Mentos, Reese Peanut Butter Cups, and a Guardian Angel for my car. I made him a Fall Basket with candy and beer," says Bev.

At about 3 pm, Ken asked if it was five o’clock somewhere. Bev responded that she was having great time and Ken agreed, expressing a wish that he could stay later. Bev called her mom and asked if it was okay for him to join them for dinner. Once her mother agreed, Bev extended an invitation for dinner at the retirement center and a night of shuffleboard. Ken happily accepted. He fit in right away with Bev’s family, and the night ended as the date had begun—with a big hug.

Beginnings 

The Monday after their first date, Ken sent Bev a dozen roses to her work with the "sweetest note." They continued the tradition of giving each other gifts.

On second date, Ken gave Bev a glass ornament with a sunset from Arizona. "Three summers ago, when I worked in Arizona, I discovered that clouds make the best sunsets. I shared the life lesson with Ken. We don't like clouds—difficult times—in our lives, but the experiences develop deeper character and strength—beautiful sunsets. I loved the ornament and it was the first ornament I hung on my tree this year."

After dating for about four months, Ken drove to visit Bev at her home in Lake Ozark for Valentine’s weekend. On the 13th, he got to Bev’s early and recommended that they have a drink at a local winery before meeting friends for dinner. At sunset, looking over the lake, Ken got down on one knee to ask Bev, “If she would make him happy for the rest of his life?” Bev happily said, “Yes!” The entire weekend was filled with laughter and the joy of sharing the news with family and friends.

Ken had a previous marriage that was annulled, but Bev has never been married. She says she has

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always been hopeful that she would someday get married, but she wanted to find the right person.

"It was equally important to me that I marry a person that would help me grow in holiness and challenge me to be my best." She acknowledges that there were times where she was frustrated and gave up hope of finding a mate, but it was during those times that she turned most to God, friends, and family. "In general,  I am the type of person who puts my energy towards things I have control over, and I try to leave the rest to God," says Bev.

Her tendency to put her energy towards things she has control over is why Bev joined CatholicMatch. She knew that she couldn't control when God would bring the right man for her, but she did know that she could work towards meeting the right person by joining CatholicMatch and actively communicating with other members.

"To be honest, the internet dating process was not fun—putting myself out there and not getting the type of response I hope for, or having to kindly tell a person interested in me that I was not interested. Always, I prayed for grace, for my future mate, and for the traits that would make me a good wife. God's timing is not mine, and now that I have the love of my life, I can see how God used that time to develop and make Ken and I ready for each other."

When asked about how their family responded to them meeting someone online instead of in a more traditional way, the couple said that their families are happy for them.

“For a long time, my parents prayed that I would meet someone with a strong Catholic faith. My family has always supported me,” says Ken. Bev says her family was a little in shock that she had finally met someone, especially online. “At first, they were concerned, but they have grown to love him. It is really obvious that we are so happy together.”

The couple will be married on August 15, 2015. Early on in the romance, the couple prayed the Rosary every evening, asking for a holy relationship.

"We set the date for the wedding without realizing it correlates with the Feast of Assumption of Blessed Virgin Mary. We feel blessed that our anniversary will always be on a feast day,” says the couple.

The wedding will be held in Missouri and the reception is at the winery where Ken proposed. “On the Engaged Couple Encounter, the story of the wedding at Cana was shared. Emphasis was placed on Jesus’ first public act of love and service through turning water into wine. We learned that wine is equal to God’s love. We are looking forward to sharing in God’s love with our family and friends!”

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