How’s a Polish guy living in Australia supposed to meet a girl from New Zealand? He sends her a message. It sounds too simple to be true, but the first step to finding a spouse on CatholicMatch is reaching out to someone you are interested in and hoping for the best.
Shem joined CatholicMatch because he was looking for a wife. He'd been a member for five months when a pretty face caught his eye. He opened Tintu’s profile and saw that she had more to offer than good looks. “I discovered that we shared the same values: God, family, daily Mass, devotion to praying the holy rosary. Seeing this, I thought to myself, ‘I need to meet this girl,’” says the 35-year-old.
Shem wasn’t shy; he sent Tintu a simple 'hello' in September of 2015.
St. Gregory’s Church, Christchurch, New Zealand
He had no idea if she would return his greeting, but he hoped for the best.
When Tintu received Shem’s message, she found herself smiling as she looked at his profile. She liked that their beliefs aligned.
“I happily replied his message. In later a conversation, he sent me his phone number,” remembers Tintu, also 35.
Then they began seeing each other over Skype, and their relationship became serious quickly because they had common goals. "We both wanted to have a proper family," she says.
I'm Polish. She's Indian.
St. Gregory’s Church, Christchurch, New Zealand
Even though they wanted the same thing, they did discover some differences between them caused by growing up on different continents.
“I'm Polish and Tintu is Indian. There are cultural differences between us, but we both belong to the same universal church of Jesus Christ, which matters more,” he explains.
She adds, “We have a lot of similar experiences in life, so this along with our common faith [unites us].”
St. Anne, St. Anne, find me a man...
Tintu had prayed to Mary and her Mother, St. Anne, to meet a husband like Shem. “I prayed for a marriage for a long time. I prayed to Mother Mary of Lourdes, saying I hope to marry such and such a guy. Shem looked exactly the same as I the man I prayed for,” she shares.
Tintu had also been praying a Novena when Shem messaged her. “I am sure my novena to St. Anne started these magical changes in my single life.”
Will we ever meet in person?
Shem & Tintu had so many priests at their wedding!
Tintu hoped to meet Shem in person. “I was on leave and planning to go to Sydney, Australia to spend time with my elder brother’s family,” she says. “But by this time, Shem, a student, was [2000 miles away] in Perth, Australia.”
Tintu asked Shem if he would be able to meet her in Sydney, but Shem told her that he would fly to Christchurch, New Zealand, where Tintu was from, after she returned from Sydney.
“I was thrilled! So we met at Christchurch airport, on October 7th, 2015, for the first time, and we were excited to see each other,” she remembers. “We spent time together talking about our feelings about marriage.”
They didn’t need a lot of time to be sure
Cutting cake
They found themselves growing closer as they shared their thoughts and ambitions. “We both wanted a Catholic family, and our shared Catholic beliefs bonded us. Also, we were both ready to take the next step in our relationship, so we talked about getting married,” she says.
He adds, "I had been asking God for a wife for two years. And when I met Tintu, I realized that she was the one for me."
Shem purchased a ring while visiting Tintu—after being together just five days— and he proposed to her. “It was in the evening, at her house, when I went down on a bent knee to propose. Tintu was happy and said, ‘Yes.’ But I don't think she was surprised because we both knew from the very beginning what we wanted. And she liked the engagement ring too."
Shem’s family was thrilled. “They were very pleased that I met Tintu, and it didn't make any difference to anyone how we met,” he says.
Tintu's family weren't fazed by the breakneck pace of their daughter's relationship. "In Indian tradition people arrange marriages, and everything goes very fast. So, there was no problem for Tintu's family. Tintu's father had only asked whether I was a Catholic or not," Shem recalls.
Fancier than expected ceremony in New Zealand
They set the wedding date with Tintu’s priest-friend Father John Adams, who conducted the couple's marriage preparation and also presided over the wedding Mass.
On December 12, 2015, the couple was married at St. Gregory's Church in Christchurch, New Zealand. “It was a small but beautiful ceremony,” Shem says.
"I received much more than what I expected! My idea of the wedding day was a small ceremony in a church with a priest and maybe two witnesses. My focus was on the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony, but it turned out that my wife's idea was different. She wanted to have a more flashy wedding. So, we had a nicely decorated church with flowers and other ornaments. For the wedding lunch, we invited our guests to one of the best restaurants in Christchurch called 'Little India.' But my favorite, little accent to this wedding was a ride on board a vintage Ford from the 30's. I'm grateful to God and my wife for our special day."
Update:
Tintu and Shem welcomed a little baby boy, Joseph Michael, on July 22nd, 2017!
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