Samantha and John connected online after being in environments where it would have been unusually difficult to meet a match.
John lived in Williston, North Dakota, an oil town where there is one woman for every 30 men. The unfavorable weather didn’t help either. “So, finding your ‘perfect match’ in a place like that was next to impossible. Online dating was the only option I was left with,” John said.
Samantha, on the other hand, had previously been in religious life as a Dominican sister. She joined CatholicMatch in June 2017 after discerning that her true calling was to marriage.
The path to their meeting was not an easy one.
John, then in his mid-20s, signed up for CatholicMatch in 2013, prompted by an ad in his parish bulletin.
“I wasn’t sure if this was the way to go due to my lack of experience in it. I didn’t have much luck in the four years that I was on it. And it got frustrating. At times I wondered if I’d ever meet the woman of my dreams. But I got some awesome advice and words of encouragement from the folks at CM that gave me the faith and the patience to hold on and trust in God’s plan for me, so I did,” John said.
Samantha’s journey had also been a long one—albeit for a quite different reason.
When she was 19, she entered the Dominican Sisters of St. Cecilia, based in Nashville, Tennessee. She would go on to spend seven years in the order. In her final year, Samantha was still in the process of discernment as she prepared to take her final vows. At the time, she felt different than she had at the start.
“I didn’t feel that this was the right decision for me as there was not the peace there that had been with me for the beginning years of religious life. I had many conversation with our Mother General in which we discerned that I was called to marriage rather than religious life. As soon as I accepted this decision in my heart I had great peace and joy in my life. I was excited to see what the Lord had planned for me as I pursued the vocation of marriage,” Samantha said.
Left Handers Unite
Their paths first crossed online on August 13, 2017, a date that seems particularly fitting, given that John and Samantha are both left-handed and August 13 is Left Handers Day.
“I was attracted to John because of his deep devotion to the Catholic faith. In our first conversation on CatholicMatch, I asked him if he actually went to Mass on a regular basis,” Samantha said.
For John, being asked that question was a critically important sign that they were on the same page when it came to their faith. “We ended up having a deep conversation about how important the faith was to both of us, our devotion to saints, and our mutual love of the Blessed Mother,” Samantha said.
Four hour drive for the first date
Samantha was also drawn to John’s “deep devotion to his family and his genuine concern and kindness.” John was struck by “her incredible ability to always see the goodness in situations.” He also admired the extent to which she had entrusted her life to God and how close and committed she is to her family.
Within two weeks they went on their first date—which entailed much more of an initial commitment and pre-planning given that Samantha lived four hours away (also in North Dakota). John made the drive to where Samantha lived. He was going to stay with a couple friends of hers. On Saturday they were going to go on their first date and then attend Mass on Sunday.
As they were both outdoors enthusiasts Saturday began with a walk in the park, then dinner, and another evening stroll by a river near the house where John was staying. That’s when their date hit a snag.
Uh-oh...where's my phone.
“When we got to the river and started walking, I discovered that I had lost my phone and my wallet somewhere along the journey. John was such a gentleman in his attitude toward the whole process as we searched,” Samantha said.
“In addition to her answer, I wanted to find her phone so badly, because I felt really bad and responsible for it. It was our first date and she was there on my invitation. I didn’t want her to take it as a bad sign or anything,” John said. “But she was very graceful about it and didn’t allow it to ruin our evening which came as a huge relief to me.” (They never did find her wallet or phone.)
Their relationship moved fast: by the end of October, they were engaged.
Each knew the other one was the one after meeting their respective families.
No English? No problem.
“I knew that John was the one person for me the first time we met my family. Family is a big part of my life. John fit in well with my family, was able to relate to them, and it all seemed very natural. I liked John before that for reasons mentioned above, but this was the final factor for me,” Samantha said. “The fact that John fit in and loved them also was the last factor that made me fall deeper in love with him.”
John says he had the same sense when he met her family. Also crucial was when she met his parents via Skype (since they live in Sri Lanka). In addition to distance, another barrier was language: his parents speak Sinhalese, the native language of Sri Lanka, and don’t know English. Nonetheless, Samantha was able to connect with them. Afterwards his parents told him, “You’ve waited and prepared yourself for her for so long, prayed and worked really hard to have her, now work and pray just as hard, if not harder, to keep her.”
“That was the deciding factor for me,” John said. “Getting that approval and blessing from the people who birthed me meant everything to me.”
On their way to marriage, John and Samantha hit a few more bumps in the road. Right before their engagement, John lost his job and had a tough time finding a new one. Samantha says the difficult time strengthened their ability to communicate and built their trust in God’s plan for them.
“I’m so grateful for God for helping her to be the bigger person and keeping her resolute when I didn’t have that strength. One more thing that made me realize that she is the one that God has had in mind for me all my life,” John said.
The couple is set to be married on June 23, 2018.
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