A Widower's Struggle

I could hear the pain in his voice.

Returning to the dating pool at age 71 after a 42-year marriage hadn't been easy. On him or on his four adult children.

"I had problems with my kids," he told me. "We went to counseling. It was really rough at the beginning. They were doing everything they could to steer me in a different direction."

But 18 months after his wife's death from cancer, he was lonely. His late wife knew he would be. "She talked to some of her friends and said if something ever happened to her, she knew that I would need someone in my life again."

He had hoped to disprove her.

"I would say, 'I'll never get married. There won't be anybody else.' But all of a sudden reality sets in. And the kids would say, 'Well, you gotta keep yourself busy.' But it's no fun being the fifth wheel. And you can be as busy as you want all day long, but when you come home, you're coming home to an empty house. There's nobody to share things with."

Signing up for CatholicMatch felt strange. "The whole thing was a different world for me."

Being single felt strange in general. "At this time in your life, you don't expect to be in this situation."

But it was time for a leap of faith. And it sure beat blind dates or the bar scene.

He found in CatholicMatch a community, a sense of connection. "It was great to see there were other widowed Catholics out there."

He has spoken to a few women on the phone. Grounded, faith-filled women who prayed with him during their conversations. Spiritually, being on CatholicMatch has had a strong impact, he said.

And though the road isn't easy, he believes he's on the right path, that God is guiding him and, when the time is right, will send him a special companion.