Every year Lent comes around and I have no idea what I should be doing. Should I give up chocolate again? Should I read that thick spiritual book? Should I take a mission trip?
Inevitably, I pick some grandiose plan on Ash Wednesday (cold showers and only bread and water for 40 days!), but then I crash and burn by day two (but that donut tasted so good).
I want to do something meaningful for Lent, but where do I begin?
I decided to look up Pope Francis's message for Lent and I was surprised by what I read:
"God does not ask of us anything that he himself has not first given us. 'We love because he first has loved us' (1 John 4:19). He is not aloof from us. Each one of us has a place in his heart. He knows us by name, he cares for us and he seeks us out whenever we turn away from him. He is interested in each of us; his love does not allow him to be indifferent to what happens to us. Usually, when we are healthy and comfortable, we forget about others (something God the Father never does): we are unconcerned with their problems, their sufferings and the injustices they endure… Our heart grows cold. As long as I am relatively healthy and comfortable, I don’t think about those less well off."
The Holy Father is talking about caring for the poor, but this mention of indifference struck at my heart strings. As a single person, I have everything I need. If I need something for my house, I buy it. If I want coffee, I make it. If I want to take a trip, I book my ticket. Since I am the only person that I need to take care of, I often forget about others' needs. Since I'm the only person looking out for #1, I am independent and try not to rely on anyone else. This sense of self-sufficiency is survival mode for a single person, but as Pope Francis points out, does it allow our hearts to grow cold? Does it close ourselves off from others, possibly to our future spouse?
So this Lent, I've decided to look at the things that might be making my heart grow cold. Just by noticing those bad habits can help me start to make a change.
One practical way that I am going to practice self-reflection is to look at the questions on the St. Raphael prayer card. The 12 questions help to build good habits to prepare myself for marriage. The questions are a small reminder to improve myself every day so that I can be ready to give my heart.
Do I act in an attractive way? Do I act selfishly? Do I believe that I am worth loving?
By looking at these questions every day during Lent, we can start to rid ourselves of any barriers that are holding us back from finding authentic love. But just like when I exercise, it is easier for me to follow through on my plan if I haven an exercise buddy. Would you be my Lenten exercise buddy?
There are 40 days in Lent, about six full weeks. Why don't we work together on two questions a week all during Lent? The idea would be to look at the first question and really reflect for half of the week to determine if you need to work on that particular virtue.
The first question is: Do I speak kindly?
Starting on the first day of Lent through Sunday really observe your interaction with others. Are you sarcastic? Are you cold? Do you need to grow in the ways that you communicate with others? Pay attention to those details and really work on speaking kindly to everyone you meet. Check back here and let me know how your progress is going.
This Lent is going to be different. Let's work together and really open our hearts to love.
