There seems to be a new matchmaker sneaking around, steering lonely singles toward each other.
Who is this new matchmaker, you ask? The church bulletin, of course.
Both Betty and Tom, Virginia natives, found CatholicMatch on their parish bulletins. At 63, Betty was a divorced, single mom, whose daughter was a freshman in college. With newfound time to dip into the dating pool, Betty tried various dating sites with no luck. Cue the church bulletin! She found CatholicMatch posted on her parish flyer.
Meanwhile, elsewhere in the state, Tom was three years a widower and missed the companionship he’d known in a 30 year marriage. At age 66, he saw an advertisement for CatholicMatch on his church bulletin, too. The rest, as they say, is history.
In April 2017, both created profiles.
Tom was not impressed with the online world, and found the potential matches decidedly poor. Maybe he wasn’t ready to date again? But he’d already paid his membership, so he decided he’d leave after that expired.
Meanwhile, Betty clicked “like” on Tom’s picture. He noticed and looked at Betty’s profile—she seemed a little more his type than the others! To his chagrin, Betty replied to his messages only with emojis. She must not be as interested as he thought. Betty, meanwhile, couldn’t read what he’d sent, since she wasn’t a paid member! She finally took the plunge to see what he’d written.
This sparked their series of over 100 chat messages through CatholicMatch. Betty, not interested? Phooey! These two discovered a veritable gold mine filled with everything they had in common.
After their hundredth message, Tom mentioned that he enjoyed wine, and Betty responded "I like wine!" with a smiley face. So Tom asked if she'd like to meet at a local wine bar for a first date. Of course, she said yes. They traded emails and phone numbers in preparation.
On that day, Tom was exceedingly nervous.
He arrived first and didn't know if he should get a table, stand in front, or wait in the parking lot. He chose to stand watch by his car for the lovely lady to arrive. When she did, she took his breath away.
“I will never forget seeing Betty, with those sparkling eyes and big smile, walking up to me,” Tom reminisces. Inside, they shared appetizers and a glass (or two!) of wine. They talked and talked for four hours, until the restaurant was closing and they had to leave! Despite the instant spark, Tom wondered if she truly liked him.
“Or [maybe] she was just happy to have someone buy her a glass of wine!” he laughs. His fears were allayed when Betty enthusiastically agreed to go out with him again.
This began a series of weekend dates, with phone calls every night between them. Months later, Tom asked Betty if she would ever consider getting married again. Betty said, yes, she’d definitely consider it.
“When you are in your 60s, you don't play relationship mind-games…you don't have the time!” Betty laughs. With their relationship picking up steam, they began family introductions. Within the following months, Betty and Tom knew they were a perfect match.
A quick side note on the annulment process
Previously, Betty had found out that her first marriage was considered a "Lack/Absence of Canonical Form.” That meant she and her first husband did not follow any of the Catholic guidelines when they got married. Accordingly, the diocese determines that the full annulment process is not needed for marriages that were not Church-sanctioned in the first place. However, she had still had some paperwork to do to be free to marry in the Catholic Church.
Happily, she had great help from a monk named Brother Henry in getting it done and officialized. The entire process took less than four weeks. (Some FAQs about the lack of canonical form process, can be found here.)
Fast forward to December 2017.
Tom took Betty to dinner in Washington DC with a plan and a ring box in his back pocket.
Although they’d already agreed they wanted to marry, the actual proposal would be a surprise. Tom made secret arrangements with the manager to place the engagement ring on the dessert tray. When it came, Tom picked it up, got down on one knee, and asked Betty to marry him. They were now officially engaged!
So Tom and Betty set their wedding date for December of 2018.
Their year-long engagement gave Tom and Betty plenty of time to prepare. Although the wedding was quite small (about 30 people), the prep work was the same as any other wedding: date, venue, food, decor, dress, photographer.
“[We] did everything together with zero problems,” the couple stated. “It was beautiful and fun!”
Family and friends attended the ceremony at St. Francis of Assisi Catholic Church in Triangle, Virginia, with the reception at the same wine bar where they first met. (How romantic is that?!) They honeymooned in Oahu, Palm Desert, and San Diego. The two state that the highlights of married life have been joining their lives together, and they’ve found the whole moving and living together process smooth and truly enjoyable.
“There have not been any hard parts, with the exception of some of the children (and they are adults) getting used to seeing Tom married again,” Betty said. Her own college-age daughter, she says, was instantly accepting of the new marriage. When asked about why they chose CatholicMatch, and their advice to other CatholicMatch singles, they state:
“It was important to us to have a faith-partner as well as a life-partner,” they state. “[In your profile,] Be honest. Say who you are and what you believe, not what you think others want to hear.”
And in the end, that’s what being—and finding—the right person is all about.
