What a member writes in their profile matters just as much as having high-quality photos.
Tim's CatholicMatch profile not only included an attractive picture, but he took the time to let his humor shine through in his writing.
Mary, now 28, shares, "Scrolling through my matches one day, Tim instantly stood out to me. I absolutely loved his smile and fun glasses, and I thought, 'Wow, he looks so cheerful!'"
She continues, "As I read through his profile, I was struck by his distinct and humorous writing voice and love of good books. We are two peas in a pod when it comes to all things geeky! If anyone is immediately eager to talk about The Lord of the Rings, I know we'll get along just fine. I felt like I got a good sense of who he was and could definitely see his personality. It was easy to tell that Tim was very smart, caring, and funny; I instantly wanted to meet him."
Mary took the bull by the horns and messaged Tim. It took a month for Tim to read her note because he wasn't actively checking his messages.
"When he finally messaged me back, I felt surprised and so happy!" she recalls.
He liked that she took the initiative.
Tim, now 33, appreciated Mary's forwardness in sending a message first, knowing it feels awkward to be the first to reach out. He recalls looking through Mary's profile photos and seeing one of her in a bookstore holding a cup of coffee. Seeing that photo, he knew they would click.
Tim guessed right. For a month, during part of November and December 2017, they chatted back and forth. Then they made plans to meet at Williams Park Zoo in Providence, Rhode Island—Mary's home state.
They had some first date jitters.
Mary looked forward to their first date with anticipation, but she felt nervous because she liked Tim a lot. She feared that their relationship wouldn't progress beyond one date.
Tim made the drive from Massachusetts to Roger Williams Park Zoo. When he first laid eyes on Mary, she took his breath away. "I remember seeing Mary in-person for the first time and thinking, 'I'm not prepared for this,' as she looked incredibly beautiful in a knit hat, scarf, and rosy cheeks from the nip in air," recalls Tim.
Mary adds, "When we met in the parking lot, Tim said, 'Hi! Um, can we hug?' Needless to say, I was absolutely smitten with this cute, warm and fuzzy man—literally, he has a great beard and was wearing a cozy sweater!"
Tim passed the test!
The two of them had a great time walking through the zoo. As we were leaving, Tim faced his first test—albeit unplanned—and he passed with flying colors. He and Mary bumped into two of her good friends.
"I had not mentioned to them anything about the date, so I was a little nervous how this would go," she laughs. "Tim took it all in stride and charmed them both with his lovely personality and sense of humor. It was so lovely to see him seamlessly enter a potentially social situation with such grace and character."
They left the zoo to get a cup of coffee and talk for a few more hours. After Mary got home, she received a text from Tim asking her on a second date. "I had so much fun laughing and talking nonstop on our first date, that I instantly said, 'Yes!'"
A few dates later, Tim picked Mary up for dinner. Mary felt elated because she had just landed her dream job as an outreach coordinator/environmental educator the RI Division of Fish and Wildlife. "We also decided to become a couple on that date— it was quite a full day," she recalls.
Mary and Tim became engaged after a year of dating. Tim proposed outside the family home of Louisa May Alcott, author of Little Women. Alcott's home is called the Orchard House, and it's located in Concord, MA.
"There was a magical, romantic snowfall, a garland of cranberries, and an interruption by exuberant vacationers from Oregon. They happened to see the whole thing happen just around the corner," Tim recalls.
A year-and-a-half engagement...
Tim and Mary found a long-distance engagement quite a hassle. Wanting to follow the rules of the Catholic Church, they opted not to live together until marriage. Although they agreed this was the greater good, it caused them to engage in what Tim calls excessive amounts of "logistical gymnastics."
The two of them grumbled about people saying, "Oh, being engaged is the most wonderful time of your life!"
"We would have preferred a much shorter engagement rather than 18-month engagement. We had to drive home alone and tired because we were taking two cars to the same event," Tim explains. "It was so incredibly worth it though, and we feel happy that we made that commitment together."
But, there was a terrible tragedy.
Four months into Tim and Mary's engagement, tragedy struck that tested their relationship. Tim's only brother died. Tim felt devastated by the loss, and Mary mourned that she didn't have enough time to get to know her brother-in-law.
"I am an only child, so the prospect of marrying someone with both a sister and a brother was such a joy for me. I felt robbed of the growth of my relationship with my brother-in-law over the course of a lifetime. Also, it was incredibly difficult watching my spouse carry the burden of losing his brother," she shares.
Tim's mother aptly noted that surviving this tragedy was a testament to the strength of their relationship."I think losing my brother-in-law definitely put us through a trial by fire, but we came out of it stronger than ever, even though we still have to deal with the ripples of grief," she explains.
Tim adds, "The sense of loss and missed chances can still permeate into the family, but we do not let it define our engagement, marriage, or relationship. Mary and my in-laws showed nothing but support and loving, and the tragedy reconfirmed the bond that Mary and I share."
Moved by the beauty!
On June 9th, 2019, on a sunny Pentecost Sunday, Tim and Mary were married at the Aldrich Mansion in Warwick, RI. The Diocese of Providence owns the property, which has a beautiful monastic style chapel on the grounds.
"Our reception was perfect, but our wedding Mass definitely was the highlight, not just for us, but for all of our guests. So many people told us afterwards that they felt moved by the beauty of our ceremony," they say.
After the wedding reception, Tim and Mary went back to their new home, located 15-minutes from her family's home.
"When we arrived home, our voices were exhausted from talking all day. Tim went to take a shower, and I stood at the stove in my wedding dress and made tea to sooth our sore throats. I remember laughing to myself at how absurd I looked."
Tim adds, "When we bought our house, we did not have any furniture except for two lone canvas chairs that I plopped in the middle of the barren living room and proclaimed it 'move-in ready.' Sitting in our quaint, but a cavernous house, Mary and I were able to pretend, even for a little while, that we had it all figured out."
Now they've been married over a year!
Tim and Mary look forward to embarking on the journey of parenthood and adding some children to their little family of pets. They close, "Although we were hesitant to try out online dating at first, we both recognize the absolute beauty in God's unexpected way of bringing us together."
Update: The couple is excitedly expecting a baby girl in September, 2021.
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