One of the worst things a person can experience is the feeling of hopelessness and discouragement that hits like a tidal wave when a divorce is finalized. It feels about the same as falling down a deep, dark well and sitting at the bottom wondering how you will ever make it out alive. But fortunately, we learn how to put one foot in front of the other again and start moving forward, albeit slowly, and begin the process of rebuilding our lives.
But, not only are we fast approaching a new calendar year, we have already begun a new year in the Church. This is a perfect time to begin setting goals to help you heal and flourish. If you are in this position, I'd first like to encourage you not to give in to discouragement, because as scripture tells us, there is a time for everything under the sun and this suffering you are bearing will pass.
A time to be born, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to uproot what is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
And now is a time to build up. I invite you to consider the following three suggestions as you set out to rebuild:
1. Give Your Prayer Life A Makeover
What significance does the word “prayer” have for you? When you read that word—prayer—do you feel a sense of peace? Do you feel a sense of burden? Are you comforted by the thought of praying? Perhaps you feel a little guilty because it’s been a while? No matter what the situation, it's important to remember that prayer is our lifeline to God. He is always there, waiting for us to meet with Him, we just need to show up. But if the thought of praying seems impossible or burdensome because of your emotional state, don't stress out over it. Prayer is conversation with God. So if rote prayers are something you can't do right now, just take a little time three times a day—morning, noon, and evening—and offer a heartfelt, spontaneous prayer to God for help with your struggles and the grace to get through the day. If you get in that habit, your conversations will become richer and more meaningful.
If you already have a prayer life, what can you do to improve it? Take a few minutes to think of what steps you can take here. You will be amazed at how things can improve, simply by improving your prayer life.
2. Learn To Enjoy Your Own Company
Some people have this aspect covered, and that is wonderful. But because divorce is such a dibilitating event, many people struggle with the notion that they are not loveable anymore, or they feel unimportant. For this reason, it is important to learn how to enjoy your own company again because the truth is, you are loveable, interesting, and important. It's important to remember here that your divorce does not define who you are, it is only something that happened to you. Don't let the harsh words or offensive actions toward you sink in and make you feel unworthy. Find your self-worth in God, the One who loves you and is always faithful. In spending time with yourself, you'll probably find your prayer life will improve, too, because conversations with God come more easily this way.
3. Invest Your Talents
Using your gifts and talents to help or entertain others is a phenomenal way to rebuild your life after divorce and reinforce the good things about yourself. When I was in this period of my life, I discovered something I call "mini-missions, meaning accomplishing some act of service for a limited amount of time. I fulfilled two mini-missions that really helped move me forward in rebuilding my life and keeping my attitude positive; I went through the approval process for Big Brothers/Big Sisters and became a Big Sister to a sweet little girl in need. I also became a CCD teacher at my parish. Both of these helped draw me outside of myself and focus on others, an exercise I highly recommend. What could you be doing at this time?
In taking some time to think about these points, you will probably recognize other ways you can start the rebuilding process. There is no time like the present to get started on identifying and implementing some of these resolutions and begin moving forward. If you would like some additional motivation, check out my Weekly Inspirations Podcast.
Find Your Forever.
CatholicMatch is the largest and most trusted
Catholic dating site in the world.
Continue Reading
