Our first Christmas as a married couple was a wake-up call for us as I remember being pregnant and over committed, trying to make everyone around us happy, as well as participate in those activities and events we personally found meaningful. We were trying to fight the stigma of "after a couple gets married, they fall off the face of the earth."
But after a stressful first Christmas together, we knew we had to scale back our expectations, regardless of what anyone else thought. Here are some helpful tips we found to keep the joy and peace during Advent and Christmas:
1. Budget more time than you need to accomplish activities to avoid over commitment. For example, if grocery shopping takes you two hours, budget three. If prepping food normally takes three hours, budget five. If traveling should take five hours, budget seven. Instead of feeling like you're constantly behind schedule, you'll feel ahead when you've finished sooner.
2. Set your limits on spending ahead of time. I love to remind my children that giving gifts is just one, but not the only, way to show our love to others. One family offered their simple advice: they get each child a book, a clothing item, and then a toy they'd like. Every Christmas, the children know this is the family routine and expectation, so they know what to ask for and maintain manageable Christmas lists.
3. Schedule time for recipe finding, but set a limit so that you don't go overboard and spend too much time overanalyzing five different gravy recipes. Do the same for food shopping and gift shopping. Make lists, and stick to them. Be flexible with in-the-moment substitutions to avoid running extra errands for last-minute forgotten ingredients.
4. Shop early and online—many food items can be bought and frozen ahead of time to save prep time (cookies, sides such as squash, green beans, and mashed potatoes). As much as you may love to make everything from scratch, ask yourself the value of that meal versus being a calm host or guest, and perhaps consider buying appetizers or desserts to cut down on the time commitment. Pick those few meals or recipe items that you can't substitute, like your grandmother's bourbon nut pie, and find prepared alternatives for the rest. I usually get most of my Christmas shopping done before December.
5. Wait until Gaudete Sunday before decorating your home for Christmas. We will usually set up our tree, Advent wreath and door wreath, and put candles in our windows at the start of Advent, but we won't fully decorate the house until Gaudete Sunday. This prevents our family from getting caught up in the hype of Christmas, while maintaining appropriate significance for the decorations.
6. Invest in an artificial tree. I know, I know, it's considered sacrilege in some households. But remember to weigh that value of a fresh cut tree with the cold weather, stress, hassle, traffic, and continued maintenance it requires. Our tree assembly is complete in as little as an hour, pre-lit with attached lights, in the warmth of our home, usually with the smell of gingerbread scones baking in the oven.
7. Make a computerized list of address labels for your Christmas cards for the addressee. Each year you can update this list for name changes or moves, but it'll save you the time from having to write out the addresses each year.
8. Indulge in hiring a cleaning service. Let that be a gift to yourself.
9. Remember your inner child and excitement over Christmas. Schedule weekly breaks for yourself with a cup of hot chocolate, popcorn, and classic children's movie such as Rudolph, Charlie Brown Christmas, How A Grinch Stole Christmas, and Santa Claus is Coming to Town.
10. Only attend the events that have great meaning to you, like your nephew's Christmas pageant or caroling with your friends. Skip out on the work or other social parties if they're adding to the stress in your life. Tell yourself you can always make it up to those people after Christmas or on an alternative year.
11. Serve others. This may seem like an additional task, but helping others puts our own life in perspective and helps us fulfill our calling to be servants of Christ, which gains us extra grace and inner peace.
12. Take a walk and stretch. Walking, especially in the cold weather, gets the blood pumping and helps us stay energized through the shortened day time. It's also a great way to pull away from the distractions and meditate on the holy family's journey to Bethlehem, as well as an excuse to step out and recollect during tense family situations.
13. Make time for prayer—Mass would be the best option, but if the times conflict with your work schedule, try an adoration chapel, or pray the consecration in your own home. Prayer gives you peace that only Divinity can grant.
What other Christmas traditions bring you peace and joy? Leave me a comment below.
