Dating someone from a different country has its own set of challenges.
CatholicMatch members Heather, from Pittsburgh, PA, and Etienne, from Montreal, Canada, found that out, but it didn’t stop them from falling in love.
The couple joined their lives in Holy Matrimony on January 4, 2020, at St. Mary's in Greenfield Park QC. Heather recalls, as the Mass began, she could barely keep herself from crying because it dawned on her, “This is all for me.”
She says she will never forget that during their vows, Etienne’s voice cracked when he said the word, “wife.”
“He had tears in his eyes, and I nearly lost it!” shares the 46-year-old. “Thankfully, I had on waterproof mascara.”
They tried other dating sites
Heather joined CatholicMatch, in 2016, because she felt like she wanted to get serious about finding a spouse. Her faith is important to her so CatholicMatch seemed like the natural choice. She'd tried other dating sites, including eHarmony, going on eight dates in one month’s time.
“I found it to be a very frustrating and somewhat empty experience,” she explains. “I felt that I was paying to meet the people I could easily meet in my daily life.”
She adds, “I remember liking how you could control many more options on the site compared to other sites. I felt safe especially compared to eHarmony, which I had a rather bad experience with.”
Another thing she appreciated about CatholicMatch was that she received a notice of who was looking at her profile. In late November of 2016, she saw that Etienne, now 43, was viewing her profile but hadn’t reached out.
“I took a look at his profile—not being concerned in the least that I was living in Pittsburgh and he in Montreal—and sent him a smiley face.”
Heather never felt pressured
Etienne answered Heather right away, and they began chatting via CatholicMatch messaging. By December 2016, they were talking on the phone and then Skyping.
“That first phone call, we talked for over two hours!” she shares. “I did most of the talking and he, of course, did most of the listening. His first language is French and mine is English. He said he had to concentrate really hard to follow the conversation and enjoyed talking to me very much.”
After a couple of weeks of speaking on the phone on weekends, Etienne asked Heather if she would like to Skype. By January 2017, they were Skyping every night.
“I never felt pressured about our relationship. We talked a lot about our faith, our struggles, and life in general," she says.
Heather revealed to Etienne, who had never been married, her struggles with her first marriage and how she didn't want to make the same mistakes. [Because her first husband was Jewish, and their marriage was never blessed by the Church, an official annulment was unnecessary. ]
"I always felt respect when I interacted with Etienne,” she reveals. “I had not felt this with any of the folks I met on other sites.”
The agents at the border detained Heather
Due to bad weather and work, the couple wasn’t able to have their first date until late March of 2017. Etienne works as a bus driver for the city of Montreal and wasn’t able to take time off, so Heather offered to travel to Montreal. She hadn’t expected that agents would be suspicious of her motives for visiting Canada.
“I drove the nearly 12 hours from Pittsburgh to Montreal, crossing into another country to meet Etienne for the first time,” she recalls. “The border agents were a bit concerned about my plans, and I had to go into their offices and answer a bunch of questions about Etienne. I was so nervous, especially when they took my passport, and they told me to have a seat.”
Finally, after verifying that her story checked out, Heather received her passport back and the agents sent her on her way.
She had to wait in line twice to enter Canada
Heather’s felt shaken by the experience, and she made a mistake that caused her to have to reenter Canada.
“I was shaking and still nervous when I went to exchange money at the duty-free store. When I entered, the cashier asked if I was returning to the US. I said that I was not; I was entering Canada to meet my partner for the first time. She then informed me that I entered the wrong duty-free store—that this store’s only exit was in the US. I would have to cross the border once more and go through customs.”
Heather was crushed and near tears by then. She invoked the saints, and thankfully the agent at the booth recognized her from when she was standing in the line previously.
“When I started telling him my mistake, he appeared to be holding back a big smile,” she remembers.
A warm hug melted away her worry
It was snowing heavily, traffic was at a crawl, and Heather’s nerves were frayed. She finally arrived at Etienne's home as he was making her dinner.
“I knocked on the door nervously, and he answered and gave me the biggest hug I’ve ever gotten. It was filled with warmth, kindness, and grace. We had a nice dinner of a Quebec fondue and the rest is history, as they say.”
A wedding in Canada
Heather and Etienne spent nearly three years dating before they became engaged. There were many miles/ kilometers put on their cars. The couple feels like their relationship progressed at the right pace for them. In Montreal, they were married on a snowy day on January 4, 2020
“Our relationship grew and so did our faith. If I was ever struggling with my faith, I could just picture Etienne and think of what a gift he was for me from God,” she shares. “We met because of our faith. It was amazing and continues to be amazing.”
Watch Heather and Etienne’s beautiful wedding video:
Continue Reading
