When 69-year-old Steve first saw Ann’s profile in June of 2021, he was struck by a picture of her kitchen window which was devoted to Mary. He recalled “There was something about that window that just drew me to her profile because I’m devoted to Mary as well. So, I wanted to find out more about that, that was why I messaged her.” For her part, Ann, 63, was struck by multiple similarities between her life and his as she read through his profile. “We had a lot of things in common. We were both Eucharistic ministers. He was (also) very involved in Respect Life, we had similar belief systems. That’s what I was looking for. We had both been widowed fairly recently.”
He almost turned around on the way to their first date!
While each one looked at the other’s profile, Steve ultimately messaged first. A week after that first message, Steve, who was working as a pharmacist at the time, drove from his home in Cincinnati for an in-person meeting with Ann, a dietitian in an Indianapolis hospital’s intensive care unit. Steve’s grown daughter Maddie also lived in Indianapolis, so he originally planned to visit her after meeting Ann. That particular weekend, though, Maddie traveled out of town. Ann said she was honored when she learned Steve had made the trip anyway just to meet her. “I was floored, I think that was my first inkling that we really had something going.”
On the way to Indy that morning, Steve was caught in a torrential downpour for much of his drive. “The interstate was actually flooding at one point. We were all clear over on the left, almost off the interstate, going real slow in this line of traffic.” The rainfall was so significant that he looked for a place to turn off the road in order to turn back, but traffic was such that he could not exit, as if “the Good Lord was saying, ‘ok, you gotta do this.’” Fortunately, the rain finally let up as he approached Indy.
Their first date was a resounding success.
The two met at a coffee shop Steve had looked up ahead of time, and talked for four hours. Over and over, they were each struck by all they had in common. Both had lost a spouse in the preceding months and after a prolonged illness. Ann cared for Dan, her husband of 29 years, in the months leading up to his death in early 2021. Similarly, Steve cared for his wife Carolyn before her death in September of 2020 after 35 years of marriage. Both Steve and Ann came from medical backgrounds and they had grown children around the same age. Their common interests included bicycling and watching Butler University basketball games. And, they both prayed the rosary daily.
She was thrilled with his birthday gift!
While they texted often after that first date, Ann felt reluctant about telling Steve that her birthday was just 4 days later on June 23rd. She ended up texting him that morning that it was her birthday, and was deeply touched by the gift he gave her. For years she had maintained a weekly hour of Adoration on Thursdays at 7 pm. Steve had never before been to Adoration, but starting that Thursday, and continuing every Thursday since he made a Holy Hour himself in his Cincinnati parish. Ann cried. “It was the best birthday present anyone had ever given me…I don’t know if that sealed the deal at that point, but it was working pretty hard on it!”
Shortly after that first visit, Steve went on a planned 10-day trip with Maddie to visit his first wife’s family in Nebraska. While there, he took his dog for a walk each night and talked on the phone with Ann. Steve also shared the news of meeting Ann with his first wife’s sister, and was grateful to receive her full support. On the tenth day of the trip and before their second in-person meeting, Steve told Ann “I love you” for the first time.
Upon returning from Nebraska, Steve made plans for a second visit with Ann. The couple talked for eight hours on Ann’s patio. They scheduled the third visit for July 10th, again in Indy, with the intent to enjoy a meal at a nice restaurant and then explore a festival followed by fireworks at Ann’s parish.
He popped the question three weeks after their first meeting!
When Steve arrived at Ann’s house for the third visit, he led her out to her patio. There he presented her with a small gift and a Green Bay Packers coolie (another team they mutually follow) with a jewelry box inside. A surprised Ann opened the box and looked up, and then down, to see Steve on one knee. Ann was simultaneously shocked speechless and struck by the unique pear shape of the rose gold ring Steve had chosen. Without answering his proposal of marriage, she instead asked “How did you know to get a pear-shaped ring?” With a laugh, Steve asked, “Is that a yes?” and Ann assured him that it was. She laughed as she admitted that the proposal “came much sooner than expected” but was certainly not unwelcome!
Contending with grief...
The biggest obstacle Steve and Ann faced during their six-month engagement was navigating the concerns his daughter and her two adult sons expressed at their parents marrying so soon after losing spouses. The children themselves were still actively grieving their respective mother and father, and one communicated that the new union felt like they were losing a second parent, as if the family was breaking up. Over time, and especially with the support of both Ann’s first husband’s sister and Steve’s first wife’s sister as well as the help of the Blessed Mother, the families came to a place of acceptance. Ann hosted everyone at her home in Indy for both Thanksgiving dinner and Christmas morning brunch. When Ann and Steve were married at his home parish, St. Maximilian Kolbe in Liberty Township, Ohio, on January 8th, 2022 both Maddie and Ann’s son Sean stood up as their witnesses.
They are so grateful to CatholicMatch for bringing them together!
For the time being, the married couple remain long-distance as Steve readies his home to go on the market so that he can join Ann in Indianapolis. While Steve, who is a Grand Knight in his local Knights of Columbus council, is sad to leave the community of support in Cincinnati, both he and Ann look forward to spending every day together. “I’m pleased that I’ve had this opportunity to meet a soulmate, someone that I can spend the rest of my life with and that I have so much in common with, saying the rosary together, going to Adoration together, going to weekly Mass.” Ann said, “He’s really just a gift to me. I said to him before we were married and I’d say it now with an even stronger voice, he checked every single box that I could want and then some boxes that I didn’t know I needed.”
When asked about how they honor the memory of their deceased spouses even as they honor their current spouse, Steve responded “We don’t have any qualms about talking about that person. I tell stories about things that Carolyn and Maddie and I did. Ann appreciates hearing them. I don’t feel like I have to hold back anything. Likewise, I’ve encouraged her to talk about her husband Dan and what they did as a family.” Ann added, “Every time we pray a rosary, we pray a petition for (Dan’s and Carolyn’s) souls.”
Steve and Ann credit CatholicMatch with helping them quickly meet someone with shared values.
Ann advised, “If you’re looking for a truly Catholic spouse, I think CatholicMatch is your one best shot. That’s exactly what we were looking for when joined CatholicMatch- to see if we could find that person. And we sure did.” Steve agreed, “In our instance especially, we didn’t want to take a lot of time finding that person. I’m 69, Ann’s 63. This just really accelerated the process (of finding someone with shared values).”
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