Steve and Anna ended up sending over 7,000 messages on CatholicMatch before meeting in March of 2016.
In May of 2015, Steve had left the seminary after discerning that God wasn't calling him to the religious life. He found a job as a mechanical engineer in his hometown of Wisconsin Rapids, Wisconsin, and began thinking that he should date. Attending a friend's wedding a month later, he found out that the happy couple met on CatholicMatch.
"I decided to try it too. I had a few messages back and forth, and a few calls with some girls, but largely was finding the whole thing immensely frustrating. Finding a Catholic girl in Rapids was even harder," says Steve, 30.
In August of 2015, Steve began messaging Anna. At first, he felt unsure whether he wanted to pursue her. "But as the months went by and the messages—and eventually Skype calls—became more and more frequent, I couldn't find any good reasons not to pursue her and even propose," he shares. "While she wasn't perfect and I could foresee that we'd have differences of opinion, she seemed perfect for me."
Not ready to invest (yet)...
"Every time I turned on Relevant Radio, I heard the ad for CatholicMatch," says Anna, 30. Within a few days of signing up, Steve sent her a smiley face and commented on one of her pictures. Anna had been limiting her member's search within a short radius of her home in Illinois, so Steve didn't show up in her search.
"I never would have met him if he hadn't been looking further," she says.
At first, Anna didn't know if she wanted to pursue a relationship with Steve. She was still messaging other members, so she didn't fully invest at first.
"Gradually, as we exchanged more messages, the prospect of dating to discern marriage became more hopeful," she explains. "When I look at other couple's stories, I think back and I am surprised how slow we initially took things."
The couple's first video call happened in the winter about three or four months after the first contact.
A Comic-Con first date!
After over 7,000 messages back-and-forth on CatholicMatch, the couple's first face-to-face meeting happened in March 2016 at Comic-Con in Chicago. Anna had invited Steve in the hopes of finally meeting face-to-face, but she didn't meet him alone. She had invited a male friend to go with her—who unfortunately liked Anna.
"My friend and I got to the con and wandered a bit before I found a place to wait and watch for Steve," she says. "Steve still teases me about bringing another guy to our first date."
Steve adds, "It was a bit of an eyebrow-raiser, but I quickly determined that whether the other guy knew it or not, he wasn't a threat."
Anna came dressed up and felt pleasantly surprised when Steve also showed wearing a costume—despite claiming not to be as geeky as Anna. She fondly recalls Steve hugging her goodbye and asking her if they were still on for their weekly Skype.
Their second date didn't happen for two months!
Two months after their first date, Anna drove over three hours to visit Steve. She'd never done anything like that before, and it was a new experience to deal with a long car ride and getting a hotel room. She arrived and waited a couple of hours in her hotel room until Steve finished his workday and came to pick her up.
"I was nervous before meeting her," offers Steve. "Girls are scary—at least when you're trying to date them."
Steve had never had a relationship last more than four months, so it was a little nerve-wracking having talked to Anna for so long and now meeting for a second date. He even bought a new car before Anna visited to impress her [Anna says he did]."
Anna shares that one of the highlights of the weekend was driving out to Roche-a-Cri State Park, located in central Wisconsin, exploring the park, making tacos over a camp stove, and dancing to some foxtrots over his car speakers in the parking lot," she shares. "He went the extra mile."
Before his first visit to Anna's hometown, Steve sent her Dad a letter explaining his intention of wanting to date her. During his visit, Anna felt impressed by how well this guy she met on the internet meshed with her family.
Driving back-and-forth...
Long-distance dating felt difficult, but it allowed us to make the most of our time together and to write letters. The couple had many weekends traveling three-and-a-half hours to see one another.
"We loved taking trips together and long talks on car rides," she says.
The couples also filled their time together cooking, taking walks, attending Mass, Eucharistic adoration, praying, watching movies, and playing games.
They adopted St. Josemaria Escriva as the patron saint of their relationship. Every time they left each other after a weekend, they prayed a prayer to the saint.
"To this day, we continue to pray the prayer together every night," she says.
They read the "Attolia" series together.
One of Steve's favorite young adult book series is the Queen of Attolia series by Megan Whalen Turner. The couple read the whole series aloud together while dating. In 2017, they attend Comic-Con (C2E2) convention in Chicago where they met the author of the book series.
"We dressed up as the main characters (Attolia and Gen) from the books," shares Anna. "Whalen Turner was so excited that we had because no one else ever had done that when meeting her."
Steve calls Anna "My Queen" and she calls him "My Thief."
Steve's favorite quote from the Queen of Attolia is about love:
"'Who am I, that you should love me?' 'You are My Queen,' said Eugenides [Gen]. She sat perfectly still, looking at him without moving as his words dropped like water into dry earth. 'Do you believe me?' he asked. 'Yes,' she answered. 'Do you love me?' 'Yes. I love you.' And she believed him.'"
This passage from the book makes him think of Anna.
She expected the proposal, but he still surprised her!
Anna had an inkling when Steve planned to propose. Especially since her Dad felt so happy about the prospect of her marrying Steve—his unbridled excitement let the cat out of the bag.
"While her Dad was at the refrigerator in his pajamas, I was trying to ask him quietly so that Anna wouldn't overhear since she was only just up the stairs in her bedroom. But he's not the quietest of men when he gets excited, so she overheard his boisterous approval," Steve recalls.
What she didn't know was that her mom had slipped her departed grandmother's rings into an Easter basket she'd made for Steve.
The following month she thought Steve would propose during her visit. Saturday passed normally, but on Sunday, after Mass, they went over to the Mary statue to pray a novena to Our Lady of Fatima.
"I was thrown off when the printed prayer ended with Tobias and Sarah's prayer from the Book of Tobit."
The prayer offered a big hint.
Prayer
O God, who were pleased to give us the shining example of the Holy Family, graciously grant that we may imitate them in practicing the virtues of family life and in the bonds of charity, and so, in the joy of your house, delight one day in eternal rewards. We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen
"As soon as we finished the prayer, he got down on one knee, held out the ring, and asked me to marry him. I was taken aback, despite knowing it was coming," she recalls.
A short engagement...
After deciding on a six-month engagement, they start planning right away. Since Steve had lost his job a couple of months before the wedding, he did most of the wedding planning. On November 18th in 2017, the couple said their vows before the Traditional Latin Mass. A priest Steve had in college and Anna's uncle presided over the ceremony.
The guests still talk about their wedding reception because the couple had a photo booth. "It was a huge hit with people getting to take wacky photos of themselves and print them out."
Two children!
In November of 2018, the couple welcomed their first daughter, Gwen. In January of 2020, her brother, Sean, became the newest member of the family. The couple shares that they appreciate how marriage and children matured them.
