She Planned to Friend Zone Him After Their First Date

He seemed flaky, and that didn't interest me.

I was going to give John two hours of my time and then ‘friend zone’ him with an ‘It was genuinely nice to meet you; have a nice life!’ and never see him again,” says Eileen, 24, from Colorado Springs, Colorado.

Even though John was cute, Eileen suspected he was flaky. “He talked about his car troubles, and how he didn't want to meet in person for several months.”

Eileen was having none of that. She messaged John and told him she had no intention of starting a cyber friendship without the goal of meeting in person.

“After I mentioned that, he drew up some courage and asked me on a date to which I half-halfheartedly responded, ‘Sure,’” she recalls.

John changing his mind and fixing his car right away so he could meet her in person made Eileen think that this guy might be worth her time.

They didn’t feel like CatholicMatch worked.

Both John and Eileen had decided to join CatholicMatch because they wanted someone who took their Catholic faith seriously. They both were looking for friendships that could turn into marriage.

Because Eileen had made some unsuccessful matches on the site, she half-halfheartedly renewed her subscription for another month.

John also felt that CatholicMatch had failed him. He’d been on the site for a year and nothing had worked out for him.

“I was even considering giving up on the site and moving back to a religious community in Canada where I had spent several years,” John, 22, from Colorado, shares. “But God had different plans.”

How did it all start?

Eileen took the quiz that John had put on his profile, and so John decided to message her.

In his message, he closed with, "Maybe you'll message me back or maybe you won’t. Either way, say a prayer for me?"

“To which I replied, ‘Sure, John,” she recalls. “Little did I know that our first date would be the launch point for us becoming best friends and embarking on a life-long vocation together.”

She liked that he seemed sincerely Catholic, not showily pious.

They met up after Mass for their first date at the Denver Botanical Gardens. To Eileen’s surprise, she and John hit it off right away.

“We had so much fun exploring all the flora. This spot was a good choice for him because he knew nearly every plant before reading their labels as he has such a knack for growing things,” she says.

They also enjoyed talking about their favorite saints and Catholic experiences. “We spoke of God's mercy and how it covers the multitude of our imperfections!”

From the start, she could tell that John was kind, sweet, and funny. She liked that he wasn’t a sanctimonious—'How many times a day do you pray the rosary?’ type.

“He was just so down-to-earth. I remember that his nails were dirty because he was often out climbing trees and working in the earth, which I liked,” she says.

After spending five enjoyable hours together, John asked Eileen out to lunch. After a quick embrace and “I'll call you!" they parted ways.

“After that those first two dates, I had to cancel my other dates because I did not think another could compete,” she recalls.

On one of the worst nights of my life, I called John.

They’d been dating for three months when Eileen called John to tell him about her terrible experience at work. “After the most difficult night of work in my whole nursing career, I called John crying. He said, ‘Oh baby, I wish I could just be there for you. Why don't you go home and see your mom? That always helps you,’” she remembers. “I heeded his advice, and when I arrived at my parent’s house, I recognized John’s car in the driveway.”

John had driven the two and a half hour drive to Eileen’s town the night before to ask her dad for his daughter’s hand in marriage.

“I was so tired and sad, but seeing John there melted my stress away.”

The next day, while they were walking around Eileen’s home parish grounds covered in frost, John proposed. Eileen felt a deep peace wash over her when she agreed to marry John.

Not everyone felt happy to hear the news that Eileen and John were getting married. Both of their families and spiritual directors were supportive, but other people who didn’t know the couple well objected to their getting engaged after such a brief time of dating.

“It was important for both of us to acknowledge that each relationship is unique and that we were confident in our mutual discernment of marriage,” they say.

John and Eileen’s wedding is slated for May 18th, 2019.