“If you want to get a wife, you’ve got to put some work into it,” says Patrick, 30, of his time on CatholicMatch.
Patrick, who lives in Boise, Idaho, adds that he’s since shown his profile to friends who are using CatholicMatch as an example of a good profile because it worked so well for him.
“I was very honest about myself, and I had a fun time writing the profile. I wasn't totally serious and somber. I had some goofy notes here and there, but I also wrote about the serious things," he says. "I noted that the most important thing in my life is Jesus Christ and living out the Catholic faith. That above all I am looking for someone who will live that out with me. I also put enough pictures to show what I really looked like and what I like to do—kind of a snapshot of my life.”
He added jokingly, “There are photos of me with kids, which proved that children can stand to be near me. Something that is kind of important for a potential father and husband.”
His wife, Hannah, 26, agreed that he had a good profile: “You were humorous, but also very upfront and clear about your beliefs and where you stood.”
Her friend talked to him first...
Patrick may have sent Hannah, who was living Colorado Springs at the time, the first message, but she joined the platform in November of 2018 with hopes of finding him.
“My friend had a CatholicMatch account, and Patrick wrote her but it fizzled after a couple of messages,” remembers Hannah. “When I saw Patrick on her page, I thought, ‘Oh, if there are guys like that on CatholicMatch, then I’ll get an account.’ I even looked for Patrick and couldn’t find him. Two days later, he messaged me first.”
Patrick had already been on the platform for over six months when he found Hannah. He joined out of what he calls “pure desperation” because he felt like there was no one left to date in his area.
“Just to be honest, I had dated a lot of people in the Treasure Valley,” shares Patrick. “The people who I hadn’t dated were friends with the ones who I had. I poisoned the well a little too much, and I was over creating more awkwardness for my life here.”
He also decided that he wanted to find someone who he would connect with deeply. At the time, Patrick was studying to be a marriage counselor, which opened his eyes to the realities of marriage.
“I realized how difficult marriage is even when you do have great compatibility, common interests, and the same beliefs. So I got on CatholicMatch to be able to cast the net wider and have a greater chance of finding someone—and it worked!”
Patrick was ready to take a break from CatholicMatch
“I had struck out uncomfortably a few times, and I was about ready to take a step back,” reveals Patrick.
Before he closed his account, he decided to reach out to one last woman, Hannah. He planned to wait a week before deleting his account to see if she replied, and she sent him a message right away.
Patrick wasted no time in asking Hannah for her number, and by the end of that week they decided to call their relationship exclusive. Six weeks later, Patrick traveled to Colorado to meet in person for the first time.
“When we finally made eye contact for the first time in real life, she reminded me of a five-year-old girl when she sees something she's really excited about because her knees buckled, and she put her hands down on her knees,” recalls Patrick fondly. “She was so adorable. And then we ran to each other and had this huge hug.”
During that trip, the couple attended Sunday Mass at the Basilica in Denver. The priest challenged the congregation—and particularly the young adults there—to not be afraid and to especially not be afraid of their vocations. Patrick felt so convicted by the sermon that he asked Hannah to be his girlfriend after Mass.
Dating long distance wasn’t perfect!
Hannah and Patrick spent the early months of their relationship long distance. Saying goodbye in the airport after a weekend together grew increasingly difficult. They also experienced jealousy.
“She had guys hitting on her in Colorado and that was really hard for me to hear,” shares Patrick. “One time, I was in a confession line and there was a few girls talking to me, and I casually brought that up with her and she was like, ‘Wait what?’ We both had be sensitive to the other's feelings.”
“And when I first came to Idaho to visit, the first thing we did was have this giant praise and worship night,” adds Hannah. “There were all these pretty girls everywhere. And I was like, ‘Who are these people? I don't even know these people.’”
They were open with each other about how they were feeling, and it prevented the jealousy from driving them apart.
“We realized we'll just have to weather this storm together and communicating really help to that,” notes Patrick.
A thoughtful engagement
Patrick had known since the second phone call that he wanted to marry Hannah. By March, they had already picked out a ring together, so it was just a matter of time before he proposed.
Originally, Patrick planned to propose during a hike on a mountain top, but he decided that he needed to do more for Hannah.
“Thoughtful doesn't necessarily translate to extravagant, so I decided to propose to her in the backyard of the house where I was living. I wanted something that would make her feel herself and safe, but also very treasured.”
“My friends and I decorated it with Edison light bulbs strung up all through the trees that looked kind of magical and beautiful. I also strung up her hammock between two big trees. Inside the hammock, I put champagne and glasses for after the proposal."
After Holy Thursday Mass, both Hannah and Patrick were feeling tired, so he suggested they order pho to be delivered to the house. When they got to the house, the pho was on the table surrounded by lit candles and with the lights dimmed. To throw her off the idea that he was going to propose, Patrick told Hannah that he had called his roommates and asked them to set the food up like a date night.
Hannah says that she didn’t see proposal coming. “I was so tired, and I thought for sure he was going to propose on Easter Sunday or Easter vigil. So I was kind of off guard, and I thought we just had a nice dinner. But then he got up and told me to put on my shoes to go outside, and ‘I was like, oh, it's going down now.’”
When they made their way outside, Hannah saw all of the decorations, and she was certain Patrick was about to propose.
“I had a song playing, and we danced to it,” recalls Patrick. “And at the end of the song, I got on the knee and proposed.”
“It was so breathtaking,” Hannah adds. “It was so cool to romanced like that.”
Planning a wedding, moving, and illness—all in five months
In July, Patrick went out to Colorado to move Hannah to Idaho. It was a beginning of a difficult time for Hannah as she started to experience illness after illness.
“I was allergic to everything,” says Hannah. “I was in and out of the urgent care as we were planning this wedding—I was sick perpetually. I got a week reprieve during our wedding, and then I got sick again on the flight to our honeymoon. I had no immune system anymore.”
On the day of their wedding, September 21, 2019, Hannah was luckily feeling well and ready to enjoy the day. They fondly remember their wedding day, particularly the ceremony at St. John’s Cathedral in Boise, Idaho.
Hannah shares, “We spent weeks immersing ourselves in the liturgy and choosing the Bible verses and deciding every little detail. It was amazing to watch and participate in the sacrament. I had someone tell me that being at the wedding was like being on a retreat, and they didn’t want to go back to real life afterward.”
She continued, “And it felt like a real Wedding Feast at Canna because we partied like all week long. People flew out for the wedding, and we did like a bonfire and music night. I took my girls to the hot springs and we had drinks. We really spent time with people that week.”
At their reception, which was subtly Lord of the Rings themed, they even integrated Israeli dancing. One of Hannah’s friends, who she went to Israel with, agreed to lead the dancing.
“I think everybody said that was one of their favorite parts of the wedding,” says Hannah. “Everyone was on the dance floor for at least an hour-and-a-half.”
After their wedding, the couple spent their honeymoon in Hawaii. Hannah's grandparents kindly gifted them a stay at their condo on the island. They are currently adjusting to married life amidst COVID-19, and they are expecting their first child due on Christmas Day.
