Jim and Shirley, married since 2012, rescue wildlife to raise on their 21-acre ranch.
Shirley had just gone to town when she got a phone call from Jim. “He said he caught the oddest looking duck and it appeared injured,” Shirley remembers. She returned to help Jim, who opened up the garage to show her the rescued duckling. But it wasn’t where Jim had left it! Shirley looked up to see the bird perched on a crossbeam, and she burst out laughing. “I laughed hysterically before telling my husband he had a vulture and not a duck!” she cries. The vulture, dubbed Elvira, hung around for a few days anyway.
How did these two get into rescuing ducklings? Let’s rewind.
In 2011, Shirley had joined CatholicMatch for one reason: her doctor had told her to get back into the dating world, after the death of her first husband eight years before. She knew she wanted to meet people who shared her faith, so she went online. She had been on CatholicMatch for six months and had only one week left on her subscription when she scrolled past Jim’s picture. She thought her adventure online was probably over and didn’t reach out. Jim, however, saw Shirley and wasted no time in messaging her!
“I certainly didn't expect where it would take us,” Shirley said. “We were both widowed. Dating was very new to us!”
Jim's wife had been deceased for five years, and he’d joined CatholicMatch to look for companionship and shared interests. Despite the novelty of online dating, their shared love of the Faith brought them together. Jim was already a Eucharist Minister, as Shirley aspired to be. They both felt some comfort and security talking to others who shared their beliefs. They messaged for one week on CatholicMatch before their first date.
Their first date in October of 2011 was at an organized CatholicMatch event: a pirate ship cruise on Galveston Bay.
Shirley, however, was still thinking she was just satisfying her doctor’s request. A date would be fun, but she had no intention of starting a romantic relationship, much less remarrying! Jim, though, was gentle and kind and found Shirley’s standoffishness amusing.
“I knew at that time I would pursue her,” he remembers.
Shirley still wasn’t sure...
Her first marriage, also Catholic, was long and happy, and she had told her first husband on their wedding day that she planned to marry only once. 34 years later, Shirley lost him and felt lost herself. “Who I once was no longer existed,” Shirley said. “It shattered my life and almost my faith.” She went to Mass regularly, despite feeling empty and alone. That lasted eight years.
Jim, however, also knew the process of grief and could relate. He and his wife had been married 37 years before she passed away in 2006. They both knew how marriage changes spouses and binds them together.
“We had become the one of which the Bible speaks. Part of us dies too,” Shirley explains about the loss of a spouse.
But love knows no limits, as they were about to discover.
Jim convinced Shirley to go on another date with him, and the next week they walked the Strand in Galveston. Again, he was very sweet and pleasant, and Shirley noticed how he didn't push for any relationship. So she agreed to go to Mass with him the following week. And the week after. And the week after that. Maybe dating wasn’t such a bad idea after all? She watched Jim take Holy Communion to our three elderly people after Sunday Mass every week.
“It was during one of these visits I happened to look up after praying, where Jim was sitting in a chair. Around Jim was the most beautiful glow I had ever seen. It was at that moment I felt the hand of God telling me 'this is the one for you.' The reservations I had were gone!” Shirley describes.
On New Year's Day they returned from Mass, and Jim proposed as they sat on the sofa.
He added that Shirley didn't have to respond quickly. “But since it was a leap year, I would have to ask him next!” Shirley laughs. So the next week they took a trip to the Hill Country with their dogs as chaperones. As they danced in front of the fireplace, Shirley took the leap and asked Jim to marry her.
Marriage is a step not taken lightly, as both Jim and Shirley knew. They both had different lifestyles with their former respective spouses, and had to develop their own "us". A big part of that was bringing a new spouse into their grown children’s lives. Shirley had four children and Jim had one. Shirley’s children were accepting and supportive of their mom’s new relationship. Jim's single daughter had a more difficult time, having no other siblings to lean on. But time built trust and acceptance!
Jim and Shirley married on March 17, 2012.
Shirley drove 70 minutes to their new home in Spring, Texas. “I am geographically challenged and I missed the turn-off!” she recalls. After she found her way back, they had a simple and beautiful wedding.
“At our age, we wanted things simple and it worked out ideally,” they say. They now live on that 21-acre farm, sharing their love for Mother Nature and rescue animals. They adore holidays and all the birthdays that come with their children and grandchildren. Their serene country home gives them the opportunity to continually marvel at what God has done in our lives, as does the little country church they belong to. And they make good use of their volunteer time!
“In our almost nine years together we are Eucharistic Ministers, lectors, and prison ministers,” Shirley says. One of their prized possessions came from the inmates they minister to. The inmates banded together to buy art supplies, so an artistic inmate could paint a picture of Mother Theresa for the couple on Christmas. It now hangs at the top of their stairs so that anyone entering our home can see her.
“Our faith binds us immensely,” Shirley says, reflecting on her second marriage with Jim. “We have received blessings neither of us thought possible. We will continue our glorious trip of serving for as long as we are given!”
