More than half a century had passed since either Nancy or Jim had been on a date.
After each losing a spouse of more than 50 years, they were both testing the dating waters again. No surprise, then, that their first date was “pleasant but a disaster,” according to Jim.
Nancy concurred. “Our first date was uncomfortable for both because neither of us had dated for more than 50 years each. What do you talk about?”
Nancy asked Jim about his family. By his own admission, Jim droned on and on about being one of 10 children. Nancy barely had a chance to talk. They left cordially, but Jim was worried he’d ruined any chance of a relationship.
“It had been more than 56 years since I went on a first date and I guess I acted like it,” he said. “But I think I was saved by a rose.”
Jim brought Nancy a single rose to their first meeting, which compelled her to write him a ‘thank you’ email the next day.
They kept communicating. “I know we were both lonely and wanted companionship,” Nancy said.
Weeks earlier, Jim had noticed an ad for CatholicMatch in his church bulletin. He wanted to meet a woman for whom the Church was an important part of her life. He had no frustrations or preconceived notions about online dating. It just seemed like a good idea.
“I really had no idea how else to meet a woman at my age,” Jim said.
Jim was on CatholicMatch for just a few weeks when he saw Nancy’s profile and liked everything about it. A photo of Nancy holding her grandson moved him. “I have a terrible memory, but I think I made the first contact,” he said.
Nancy had been on CatholicMatch for nearly three months. “I saw Jim’s picture and liked what I saw and read,” she said. They communicated for a few weeks before meeting in person. “I just was so anxious to meet her,” Jim said.
Despite their lackluster first date, Nancy and Jim found they had mutual interests. Both are active in church and love their religion. They shared many of the same likes, number of children and grandchildren, and both were caregivers to their former spouses who died after long illnesses. “Kind of unbelievable how much we had in common,” Jim said.
From the beginning, Jim knew there was something special about Nancy. “We were so easy together,” he recalled. “I felt like I could talk about anything with her, no reservations.”
As their relationship progressed, Nancy invited Jim to the Padre Pio Shrine in Pennsylvania.
Jim claims something mysterious happened as they walked around the shrine. He cannot fully explain it, but that’s when he knew he wanted to be with Nancy.
On the same trip, Jim met Nancy’s daughter who lived nearby. Her daughter’s Great Dane took an instant liking to Jim. “That was good enough for me,” Nancy said.
One day, Jim proposed to Nancy over the phone. “Emotion got to me as we were talking and I blurted it out,” he said. “I would much rather have asked her in person with a hug and a kiss, but I blew it.” Even so, it worked. Nancy said “yes.”
Unfortunately, their family members were not so happy.
“When we announced our engagement, it was like a war,” Nancy said.
“Nancy got it from one of her daughters and I got it from my two sons,” Jim said, adding simply: “Not fun.”
They also had challenges with selling their houses. “The hardest part for me was moving from my home of 52 years,” Nancy said. Despite these trials, their engagement was wonderful and full of anticipation. The adversities brought them closer together.
They enjoyed preparing for their wedding and looking for a condo to make their own. “I knew this was definitely meant to be and I think the Lord was guiding us,” Jim said.
Over the course of the year before they married, their children apparently recognized how in love they were. Their attitudes softened. “Our kids are great and we do so enjoy our time with them,” Jim said.
Nancy and Jim married on May 4, 2019. Two priests were at the altar and everyone enjoyed the ceremony.
Jim still remembers the sight of Nancy walking down the aisle in the church. “She took my breath away—she was so beautiful.”
“Later, at the reception dancing with her, everything was just perfect. Everyone had a wonderful time.”
Now that they have been a couple for almost two years, married for one, Jim said there is no doubt they were meant to be together. Every day is a new highlight. With nothing to hide, they both speak often and openly about their former spouses.
“To have someone love you so much as Nancy does, and to feel that love is just absolutely amazing,” Jim said. “I love her so.”
The hardest part of their marriage so far has been going through the Coronavirus pandemic. They are both afraid of each other’s health. “I know that I never want to lose my Nancy,” Jim said. “Our age doesn't give us a lot of time together, but we make every moment count.”
