Rich, 33, knew from the start that Sally, 26, was a good match for him, but Sally wasn’t so
convinced. Rich had been on CatholicMatch for five years. He had varying levels of success but never found that special someone... until he messaged Sally.
Sally, who had been on CatholicMatch for six months, says she joined CatholicMatch after getting a little encouragement from holiday wine. “I had had a few successes, but mostly disappointment from guys I had met on CatholicMatch. By the time Rich messaged me, I was basically over the whole thing.”
First Meeting
Sally and Rich both lived in the Dallas-Fort Worth area of Texas, so after a couple of weeks of exchanging emails, she agreed to meet Rich at Klyde Warren Park, a popular and very public place, in Dallas. “I thought he seemed nice enough, so I figured, ‘Why not? I don't have much to lose at this point.'"
According to Rich, they had a great first date, in part because Sally chose to “throw all conventional rules of social interaction out the window by being quite frank herself.” Rich says Sally accomplished this by ordering a margarita at a family park after he asked if she wanted a lemonade or tea. She also explained that she had just gotten a pedicure, which made her feet in her sandals feel super slippery because they cheese-grated all her callouses off. “Somehow, I found that blunt honesty attractive,” laughs Rich.
Sally Tried to Break It Off
Rich moved their relationship forward by consistently asking for the next date at the conclusion of the current one. Sally says she appreciated this, but it also made it very difficult for her to tell him that she just wasn't that into their relationship. “I could see that he was a kind and faithful man. I even admitted to myself that if I saw him married to another woman, I would look at their marriage with a bit of longing and think, Man, I want that. But I couldn’t commit to the relationship,” says Sally.
Even though she was convinced she needed to stop going out with Rich, Sally just didn’t have the heart to flat-out refuse a date. “Instead, she developed the brilliant idea of convincing me to break up with her,” laughs Rich. Sally commenced her plan by telling Rich all of her life goals as though they needed to start happening immediately.
“These things included, but were not limited to: serving as a medical missionary [Sally was in med school at the time], possibly raising children in a mission field, adopting children (maybe special needs children), and being part of the foster care system.” After their intense conversation, Rich walked Sally to her car and said, "We'll talk." Sally took that to mean, "Well, have a nice life."
“I felt like I had accomplished what I had set out to do, but I also felt a little bit uneasy about it,” says Sally.
Rich wasn't going to be so easily discouraged. Much to Sally's surprise, he asked her to dinner the following weekend.
“I was a bit befuddled and I wondered just what the heck he wanted,” says Sally. Over the course of dinner, he explained that he was willing to accept all those things and to cross each bridge as it came. “To be honest, I was a little surprised by his willingness to say 'yes' to all of those things,” shares Sally.
Mary Undoer of Knots Helps Sally
Despite his willingness to help her fulfill her life goals, Sally still wasn’t sure she could see her
relationship with Rich going anywhere. “That was just downright foolish and silly,” admits Sally. She decided to turn to prayer and the intercession of Our Lady to help her figure out what she wanted. Sally began a novena to Mary Undoer of Knots, which ended the same day as her CatholicMatch subscription.
“Through the novena, I found myself more open to the relationship than before, and I decided with confidence to continue it,” shares Sally.
Over the following weeks, Rich helped Sally move to a new house. He went above and beyond, remembers Sally, “He fixed the fence for my dogs, helped me pack and move for two weekends, and, when the closet rod in my room fell completely off the wall, he helped my dad rebuild the closet.” Sally was starting to think, "This guy might be a keeper!"
The weekend after the final moving trip, Rich went with Sally back to her home in Wall, Texas. One morning, Rich and Sally's dad were working on her car. “Cheesy though it may be, as I stood there watching the two men work, it dawned on me that Rich was likely going to take the place of the main man in my life very soon.”
An Elaborate Engagement Plan
Sally says she thought she had figured out when Rich would propose to her. “Because we had been ring shopping and had talked extensively about the timeline of a wedding, I knew the proposal was coming. And when he said big things were happening that Saturday night, I put two and two together that we were getting engaged on November 15. I was not happy about knowing the date, and quite honestly, was bratty about it,” remembers Sally.
But Rich knew Sally better than that. “Despite my best efforts at concentration, I occasionally miss the subtle subtext in nuanced conversations. Some of those times I'm blissfully unaware I've missed the "point" of an exchange. However, that definitely was not occurring whenever Sally and I talked leading up to the engagement! I knew she wanted to be surprised—no bones about it,” laughs Rich.
Coming up with great way to ask Sally to marry him wasn’t Rich’s problem; the biggest complication was planning around Sally’s fourth year medical school schedule, which involved last-minute trips to residency programs around the country for interviews.
“As I was watching her November schedule undergo huge changes every time we talked, I realized planning an engagement would be simple—I just had no idea if Sally would be
there!”
To make sure Sally would be there for his proposal, Rich asked her reserve specific times during each of the first three weekends in November. “I'm an engineer and a program manager by profession, so the details of the proposal were planned down to the minute and communicated with everyone involved. The spreadsheet with the detailed plan has been the butt of many good-natured jokes, but it's hard to argue with what works,” laughs Rich.
On November 7, Rich told Sally they would be going to a concert at the Meyerson where Rich would sing with the Dallas Symphony Chorus. When they entered the building, they were greeted by a security guard who commented on how dressed up they were, to which Rich replied that they were dressed for the concert. The security guard then informed them that there was no concert that night. “Befuddled, I wondered how Rich could be so stupid as to not even know when his own concerts were. Then I noticed Rich smiling way too much for having just heard his concert was cancelled. I began to realize that something else entirely was happening here,” says Sally.
As they walked out of the Meyerson, a limo pulled up, they got in and began driving toward Turtle Creek. “Unfortunately, my plan didn't account enough for Friday afternoon traffic in and around downtown Dallas. So we were off schedule before we ever got to the Meyerson,” recalls
Rich. They arrived at the bridge almost 30 minutes late and Rich says it was getting dark fast. “The driver dropped us off in the wrong spot, so for a moment I was totally disoriented. But I faked confidence and just started walking. Finally, the bridge came into view, and so did Ken and Lucy, the lookouts I had planted on the side of the bridge we were approaching. They were friends that Sally didn't know yet, so they were innocently pretending to take photos of each other as we walked by. As soon as we passed, Lucy snapped into paparazzi mode and did the best she could with the diminishing light,” remembers Rich.
Sally says the beams of the bridge were irregularly spaced, so she was focused on precise placement of every step to make sure her stiletto heels didn’t go through the planks. “This is my excuse for why I didn't notice the flowers tied to the side of the bridge. Halfway across the bridge, Rich stopped me, dropped to one knee, and asked me to be his wife. And, of course, I said ‘Yes!’”
After Sally accepted his proposal, the couple walked to the other side of the bridge where family and friends were waiting with a champagne toast in the trunk of the limo.
But the night didn’t end there. They got back in the limo to head to dinner at the Reunion Tower. “We enjoyed a
romantic dinner at about 560 feet above Dallas, slowly revolving to give us a great view of everything,” says Sally. After dinner, they hopped back in the limo to travel to their next destination, a spot with the best view of downtown Dallas around.
“We sat and talked about the events leading up to that day and about our future together. After winding down for a bit, we headed back to the house where we met back up with the family. It was a beautiful and sweet start to the most exciting journey of our lives!” says the couple.
A Big Texas Wedding
On June 6th, 2015 Rich and Sally were married at St. Ambrose Catholic Church in Wall, Texas. “The wedding was quite large, as everyone in the tiny Texas town of Wall was invited automatically,” says Rich. Based on food consumption, the couple believe there were more than 500 people who attended their wedding, but there was no other definitive count.
One of the things that made their wedding special was Sally and Rich choose to be primary extraordinary ministers at their nuptial Mass.“We chose to do this because at the Nuptial Mass, the couple are the primary celebrants. So we extended that and were able to serve the host to our closest friends. It was one of the most powerful things that people commented on following the ceremony.”Rich says they are still figuring out marriage themselves, so they don't think they have any advice to pass on, except that flexibility is key.
“I will say that our lives have changed dramatically since we were married only six months ago—moving to a new state, new jobs, living together. Add kids on top of that someday, and it's clear that you need to remain flexible throughout life.”
He also says its incredibly important to find someone who is willing to work through the uncertainties of life with you. “Once you find that person, keep reminding each other how blessed you are just to be alive. That always puts things in perspective and don't stop showing your love to each other through little surprises. They make life interesting!”
