Pam, a 29-year-old teacher at a small charter high school in California, was struggling to meet Catholic professionals in her small hometown. “I kept complaining and feeling discouraged that God was not answering my prayers for a spouse, but I soon realized that I also needed to do my part and move my feet,” says Pam.
She decided that she would help God out by joining an online dating site. Initially, she thought about joining a mainstream dating site, but she remembered having seen an ad for CatholicMatch in her parish bulletin. “Before pushing the subscribe button on another website, I felt the Holy Spirit reminding me of CatholicMatch, so joined there instead. I felt encouraged because that meant I would be meeting people that valued their Catholic faith.”
At the recommendation of a priest friend, David, also 29, joined CatholicMatch in 2011. He wanted to
find people who take their Catholic faith seriously.
When Pam joined CatholicMatch in 2013, David saw her profile and was immediately interested. “I was first attracted to the pictures she had posted,” says David. Once he read her profile, he appreciated the fact that she was obviously serious and knowledgeable about her faith. “Her profile also reflected how she was fun and made me want to know more about her.”
Before he messaged her, David was matched with Pam, but she chose to put him in the “No” pile. “Funnily enough, I did not feel an initial attraction towards him,” says Pam.
A few weeks later, she received a personal message from David. “I knew he looked familiar, so I went back to my ‘Yes’ and ‘Maybe’ piles, but I didn’t see him in any of those! I discovered that I had put him in the ‘No’ pile.” She says she didn’t tell David this until after they had been dating for a few months.
Even though she was not attracted to him at first glance, Pam says his personal message to her changed everything. “My initial inclination based on reading his profile was a ‘not interested,’ but I soon found that there is much more to a person than what he puts in a profile.”
Pam says she felt like she needed to give David a shot, but she didn't think the relationship would last. Even so, she was impressed by the fact that David was forthright and didn’t beat around the bush. After exchanging a few messages, David asked to talk to Pam on the phone. “I thought to myself, ‘Why not? It’s not like I’m going to marry this guy anyway.’”
The two continued to date and David was patient and allowed Pam to set the pace of the relationship. “He showed more interest in me than I was showing in him, but he still pursued our relationship despite the long distance.”
Long Distance
Pam says she originally had no interest in a long-distance relationship. David was also from California, but when they met he had just joined the Navy and was stationed temporarily in Mississippi before his permanent assignment.
“With the long distance, I had to get creative and find ways to keep her interested,” says David.
Pam says, “The way he pursued me changed my mind about long distance.”
Since he knew Pam loved to read, David offered to read with her. So the couple took turns picking out books that they would read. “It was such a great experience! We would share our thoughts about the books and it really made us bond,” says Pam. They also kept their relationship on track by praying together before they hung up the phone. David didn’t stop at just reading with Pam: “He would send me packages, love letters, and pictures over text messages so we would always be connected.”
Suddenly, Pam started thinking that long distance wasn’t such a bad thing. “I think if both people truly care about each other and are willing to do their part, long distance is totally manageable considering how technology is able to aid us.”
Communication became a strong point in their relationship because they relied on conversation so much. “We were also praying for our discernment constantly and never discouraged each other if we were feeling like we couldn't handle the distance. I would tell her ‘the longer the waiting, the sweeter the kiss,’” shared David.
A Romantic First Meeting
After they started communicating, the couple had to wait three months to see each other in person. “I’m not really the cheesy, romantic type, but I have to say that our first actual meeting was unforgettable,” recalls Pam.
When David finally got approval for leave, it was for Valentine's Day 2013. “His flight kept getting canceled, but he was fighting to get there on Valentine’s Day.” At 11pm, David was finally able to land. “He hugged me and told me that he loved me. I told him that I loved him too,” shares Pam.
Because there was nothing else open at 11pm, the couple went to a local bar. “We kept staring at each
other in awe because we had waited so long to finally see each other,” says Pam.
“We had been looking forward to the moment for a while, and it seemed like we had been hanging out already because of our long conversations prior to the initial meeting. My concern was her being comfortable, and there was no shyness what so ever. We were both attracted to each other’s mannerisms and facial expressions. That day we knew that we had developed love for one another,” adds David.
Meeting Friends & Family
The next day, Pam met David’s entire family, and over the next few days he met her family and they met each other’s friends. They both say their families and friends were accepting of the fact they met online. Everyone noticed the chemistry between Pam and David and it seemed to them like the couple had known each other a long time.
When people found out they met on CatholicMatch, they would say, “That makes total sense” because of how important Catholicism is for both of them.
Proposal
During Holy Week of 2015, David and Pam visited Kansas City, MO. Pam had lived there for a few years, so meeting there would allow her to visit some friends as well. On Holy Thursday, after meeting with some of Pam’s friends, David asked Pam to take him to St. Agnes Church. “I chose to propose at St. Agnes Church because that's where she would spend a lot of time praying for her vocation and for a future spouse,” says David.
On their way in the church, David said he had forgotten something in the car and he would meet her inside the church. “I thought that maybe he was going to propose,” says Pam. Once inside, he took something out of his pocket. Pam thought it was going to be a ring, but instead it was a book. “It was The Furrow by St. Jose Maria Escriva. He said he knew it was something I had wanted to read, so he bought it for me. I was a little disappointed since I thought he was going to propose.”
After spending some time in prayer, the couple left the Church. “As we walked past the main entrance of the Church, David stopped and started expressing his love for me. He knelt on his knee and proposed in front of the Church,” she remembers.
“I used the front of the church as a sign to show my intention of taking that next step closer to the altar, which is the engagement stage of the discernment,” adds David.
“Everything happened so fast and it felt like blur. Of course I said yes!” says Pam.
David and Pam are planning to get married on December 12, the Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe, in California. “His ship schedule is pretty tight, so we hope that our families will be able to join us on this special day” says Pam.
The couple is getting married at the parish that Pam grew up in, and friends of theirs who are priests will celebrate their nuptials. After their wedding, Pam will be moving to Norfolk, Virginia, where David is currently stationed, to spend a few months with him before he is deployed.
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