Nina Wanted a Guy Who Could Literally Sweep Her Off Her Feet
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Nina wasn’t really the type to send the first message, but she bit the bullet and messaged Zach first. Zach had looked at Nina’s profile, but he didn’t reach out.
Nina, on the other hand, was so intrigued that she couldn’t pass up the opportunity. “I was also like ‘why didn’t he send me a message?’ So I think I reacted to that too,” admits Nina, 27.
Later in their relationship, Nina discovered why Zach hadn’t message her. “I was sure there was no way she would ever be interested in me,” says Zach, 24.
Nina, who is a youth minister for a Catholic college center in New Jersey, says that even though she knows a lot of Catholic young men and has a good group of friends, she was having trouble finding someone she clicked with. So she took the plunge and joined CatholicMatch and three months later, she met Zach.
Zach, a former Marine who was stationed in Japan when he met Nina, also joined CatholicMatch because he was having trouble meeting someone. “He was having a hard time finding a good Catholic girl, and he knew he wanted one,” says Nina.
Nina didn’t care that Zach was younger
Going into CatholicMatch, Nina had the perception that she would marry someone who was older than her, and she ran all of her searches for someone that was older. So when she saw that Zach was only 22, she was a little hesitant. “All of the twenty-two or twenty-three-year-old guys that I know are extremely immature,” laughs Nina.
But when she read Zach’s profile, she realized the age difference wasn’t going to be an issue. “I saw there was a lot of maturity and wisdom there, and I think that’s partly being in the military and the experiences he has had there.”
She also appreciated the humility she saw in his profile. "I sensed a lot of humility when he talked about the sacrament of Confession and how no one should be ashamed of asking for God’s forgiveness,” shares Nina. She also appreciated the things they had in common, like a love of music and working out.
“And obviously, I thought he was attractive in his picture,” adds Nina.
Nina and Zach didn’t immediately click
Because Zach was stationed in Japan, they couldn’t have a first date for three months. During that
time, they Skyped regularly. But their first Skype date didn’t leave Nina feeling sure that she wanted to continue the relationship.
“It was so awkward,” groans Nina. “I knew from his pictures that he didn’t smile very much—he’s a typical military guy—but he was so reserved, and I think I was expecting something different.”
Nina admits that she ended up grilling him about a variety of things instead of just letting the conversation develop naturally. “Because the conversation didn’t flow like I thought it should, I thought we wouldn’t work. But then through prayer, I decided it wasn’t fair for me to just not give him a second chance especially because I went in with so many expectations.”
Free from her expectations, the next time the couple Skyped, it was a lot more natural. “The conversation was great and we both opened up a little more,” says Nina.
He swept her off her feet
The day after Zach returned from Japan, in February 2015, Nina drove from New Jersey to Virginia Beach where Zach was stationed at the time. “We were so anxious to see each other,” says Nina. When Nina pulled up to the hotel, Zach was there waiting for her.
At the beginning of their relationship, Nina, who is 5’10”, mentioned to Zach that she had never had a boyfriend who could hug her and pick her up off her feet. “So when we met in the parking lot, he basically took me in his arms and picked me up, and it was really awesome.”
Even though Nina enjoyed being swept off her feet, there was still some adjustment time. “It was awkward at first because we had related to each other behind the screen for so long, and now we could actually touch each other and hug each other. It took a while for me to get over that because I was so freaked out in a good way.”
She also adds that their first date, which was to an Applebee’s, didn’t really feel like a first date. “We felt like we knew each other already because we were talking every day for three months, and we had met each other’s families through Skype.”
As different as night and day
Nina says that she and Zach couldn’t be more different.
“Zach is very active, and he has a hard time sitting still. I’m very much the opposite; I’m more
contemplative. He likes darkness; I like sunlight. He likes metal music; I like acoustic indie. He’s very intense, and he reacts very strongly and immediately to things. I react more slowly. We’re both passionate but in different ways. He’s very impulsive, and I want to think about things. We do compliment each other, and I see there are areas where we’ll both have to grow, especially when we’re married.”
Despite the fact that they’re very different, the couple are brought together by their shared faith. “Our faith has been the core of our relationship. We pray the Rosary together, go to Mass, and receive the sacrament of Confession together. I think that’s really been the bond for us because we’re so different. We’re night and day, but when it comes to faith and values, we’re pretty much the same.”
A rough patch made Zach realize how much he cared
Because Zach was enlisted in the Marines at the time, it was hard for the couple to see each other on a regular basis. “It hasn’t really been like a normal relationship. We had these times where we were with each other for an extended amount of time, and then we would have to say goodbye for long stretches. We didn’t see each other for three months between Christmas and Easter,” says Nina. This kind of distance understandably put stress upon the relationship. “There were times where we were both very busy, and our communication was kind of off because of that.”
In addition to the distance, about four or five months into their relationship, Zach started to struggle with anxiety. “It was a childhood issue that came back and hit him full force. That was really hard because we were still getting to know each other, but he was dealing with this anxiety and panic attacks.”
In March, the couple’s problems reached a crisis. “We took a break because we were not really communicating well, and there was such a buildup of tension,” says Nina.
Part of the conflict centered around Zach’s doubt about whether he wanted to marry Nina. “That was the second time it had happened, and I said we needed to take a step back because we’d been doing this for a year and he was still feeling like that. So we broke up for a while, and the conflict caused us to look at our relationship as a whole. And when we came back together, he proposed to me three weeks later!”
A damp proposal
Zach, who recently left the Marines, originally planned on waiting to propose to Nina until after he had a job, but their break made him change his mind. The time apart made Zach realize how much he loved Nina and wanted to spend his life with her, so he decided to take a leap of faith and propose.
In March of 2016, when Nina went down to North Carolina for Easter, the couple visited
the Basilica Shrine of Saint Mary. “It started to rain as we drove up and the place was closed because it was Holy Saturday, but we ended up finding a bench on the side next to a statue of Mary.” Huddled together under an umbrella, Zach and Nina prayed the Rosary. “One of our intentions was that it would stop raining, and two decades in it stopped,” recalls Nina.
After they finished their Rosary, Nina, who says she was a wet mess at that point, got up to leave, but Zach asked her to come over and stand with him next to the statue of the Blessed Mother. There on the damp ground, Zach got down on one knee, pulled the ring out of his sock, and told Nina, “I can’t imagine life without you—you’re my best friend. Will you marry me?”
“Of course, I said yes.”
So far the couple has reserved a church and a reception hall for their March 25th, 2017 wedding, which is the Feast of the Annunciation, but they don’t know where they will live after the wedding. “We’re just taking it step-by-step. It’s sort of a weird transition because he’s still looking for a job. It’s hard for him coming out of the military because he doesn’t have a college degree. Once he finds a job, I’ll go wherever he goes. We don’t have all of our ducks in a row, but we trust that God will make everything work out,” says Nina.