Katherine and Joseph have been married two years; they met on CatholicMatch in 2012 and were married a year later on September 7, 2013. On June 25, 2015, they welcomed their first baby, Ignatius, into their family. Both of them take joy in knowing that their marriage and new baby have helped their spiritual life blossom.
Katherine’s Pregnancy Brought out Joseph’s Tender Side
Katherine and Joseph had been married a full year when she became pregnant with Ignatius. “Learning about my pregnancy was one of the most exciting times in our marriage,” Katherine says.
Joseph adds, “We had wanted the baby earlier, but I think that God had a better plan. The timing was perfect. It deepened our love for each other, and it gave us time to adjust better (we moved to Texas after eight months of marriage)."
During Katherine’s pregnancy, Joseph saw himself become more tender and understanding. “I noticed this grace some days after she told me about her conception. I became more eager to say 'yes' to her request and have it accomplished. Thus, my frequency of cooking for her, laundry, dishwashing and house cleaning increased.”
To cheer her up during the difficult parts of her pregnancy, Joseph also developed the habit of telling her funny stories. "Joseph always has an encouraging word for me. He is a great spiritual model for me, even helping me to keep up with my daily prayers and quiet time with the Lord in the midst of changings and feedings,” she says.
Joseph’s gentle side hasn't faded away. “I knew he would make a wonderful father and seeing the tender care he has for our son just reinforces that. We are both learning how to parent and taking it one day at a time."
Being a Parent is Exciting and Hard Work!
Since baby Ignatius was born, their lives have revolved around him. “Whatever we’re doing—night or day—we have to take his needs into account. I find that I have a better appreciation for time. Those moments when he’s sleeping are when I can rest or catch up on things; and when he’s awake, I value those moments of just being together and watching him grow. I have a deeper appreciation for the gift of life. I’m awed that we were able to bring about his life and I feel honored that God has entrusted him to us,” Katherine says.
Joseph has found being a father is exciting and spiritually rewarding, and he is enjoying every bit of it. He sees the sleepless nights, less time for himself, and less alone time with Katherine as a part of his loving duty as a Dad. When it gets tough, he asks God through Mary for the grace to persevere. “I see myself as the servant of my little prince. His needs determine my thoughts and actions. When he cries, I try to figure out what my little master wants. At first, it was challenging, but it has helped me to mortify myself and to try to be always ready to attend to him.”
Joys of Having a Spouse
One of the best aspects of married life for Joseph is having Katherine to share joys and worries with. He also likes that she's there to offer advice, especially where major decisions are concerned. “The saying that two good heads are better than one applies here.”
The spiritual side of his life has been easier and better since he married Katherine. He also thinks that the best part of being married is having the opportunity to serve his wife and now his son. “My happiest moments are usually when I find myself ready to do what will make them genuinely happy. Through this service, I have obtained many graces. It has made my understanding and devotion to Our Lady better because of my wife, though a friend and a mate, is also a mother to me.”
For Katherine, the most joyful aspects of being married are having her best friend always at her side and having someone to share her life with. “I’ve heard it said that ‘a good friend helps to half the sorrows and double the joys, ’ and that’s just what Joseph does for me. Even when he has to be away from home for weeks at a time because of his job, I know he is praying for me, and that is encouraging too. I feel his love even when we’re not physically together.”
Trusting & Serving God
With any marriage there are challenges. After Joseph and Katherine married, he left his previous job in Nigeria and then had to wait eight months to get his work permit and eventually his new job. They lived with Katherine’s parents until Joseph was able to find a job. During the period without a job, he kept busy volunteering at the Mission of Mercy Van (Mobile Clinic Services) and developing professional skills. Joseph says, "These skills eventually helped me get my dream job.”
It was the last day of a novena to St. Jude when Joseph got a call from Houston about a job.
For Katherine, the challenges have been adjusting to life as a wife and mother. She sometimes feels overwhelmed by the amount of work she needs to get done in homemaking and taking care of an infant. She found that it was a lot easier to plan her day when she was single. “Besides my job, I really didn’t have to worry about other major responsibilities. I could jump in the car and go out with friends at a moment’s notice. I lived with my parents, so meals and laundry weren’t my concern. Now I have a husband and son to care for.”
She finds that if she puts God first and family next, that peace and happiness returns. “When I’ve made an effort to keep God at the center by lifting my mind and heart to Him throughout the day, then I’m better able to serve my family. I like to think of how Our Blessed Mother would have cheerfully served her husband and Son, doing simple chores with love; it really helps me.”
She also tries to keep focused on the time she has with Joseph and Ignatius and not worry too much about the undone chores. “The most important thing is that I’m serving God and my family feels loved and cared for even if the laundry didn’t get folded today. Joseph is good at reminding me of this, and he helps as much as he can.”
Growing Spiritual Life
Joseph feels that his spiritual life has grown immensely since marrying Katherine. “I had wanted a wife with whom I would share my whole life and especially practice my faith to the fullest. I got all that in Katherine. We both have undergone the Total Consecration to Our Lady. We are involved in our Legion of Mary apostolate, and for the first time, we taught Catechism together at the traditional Latin Mass parish where we attend. Performing these activities simply deepens our love for God and each other."
Living with Joseph has helped Katherine, who is naturally impulsive, to slow down and to just be in God’s presence. “He is really the spiritual support for our family. We try to keep a daily routine of prayers and often he inspires me when he shares a spiritual insight or something he’s read.”
Before discerning married life, Katherine had been discerning religious life for many years. So consequently, it feels almost surreal to her to have a husband and a baby. She keeps track of her community on Facebook. “I see pictures of my peers making vows, and I sometimes think, ‘Wow! that could have been me if God had not called me to marriage.’ But I couldn’t be happier in the role I have taken as a wife and mother. It fits me so well, and I am very much at peace with the family God has blessed me with.”
Although Katherine feels like she has found her true calling being a wife and a mother, she does miss the structure of religious life. “There was a daily routine of prayer, work and rest. Life was a little more predictable and organized, not in a monotonous way, just more structured and manageable. Also as a community, all the sisters helped in the daily tasks. Now it’s just Joseph and me managing a home and caring for a little one. Managing daily prayers and even meal times can be a struggle. Some days I’m running on three hours of sleep, eating dinner at 10:00 p.m., and praying my rosary at 2:00 a.m. while feeding the baby—all the while wondering when I’m going to get the laundry done. These are things I never had to worry about in religious life, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world because this is where God has placed me.”
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