In January 2013, the very day Laura, 26, joined CatholicMatch, she saw the man she would marry. Roman’s picture was on her newsfeed listed under “New Members.” She was drawn to Roman’s profile picture in which he posed holding his guitar. She was impressed with his profile, which indicated he was an honest, down to earth person, who was seriously looking for a committed relationship.
She sent him a coffee emotigram and, captivated by Laura’s beautiful smile, he replied right away with an invitation to chat. Roman, 25, discovered that Laura was not only attractive but easy to talk to and, with her, he didn’t feel his usual shyness.
Within a week of meeting online, Laura asked Roman to Skype with her. Since he was from Albuquerque and she was going to school in Boston, this was the best and quickest way for her to be sure that Roman was who he said he was. She had heard about “catfishing” and she wanted to make sure that wasn’t happening to her. She was pleased and relieved to see that the handsome man in the pictures and on the phone was the same guy in whom she was interested.
“It was definitely love at first Skype. Seeing Roman’s face felt like an ah-ha moment,” says Laura.
Talking together, they discovered that they not only shared the same faith, but also similar cultures, taste in food, music, family values, and relationship goals. They had also both been hurt by a cheating boyfriend/girlfriend in the past. "We agreed that honesty and communication are key in order to build a stable, lasting relationship,” she explains.
Despite all of their similarities, they learned through the temperament test that they are opposites. Roman is phlegmatic-melancholic. This personality type is introverted and is known to be personable, quiet, gentle, and agreeable. However, this personality type often conceals the depth of emotion they feel. Laura is choleric- sanguine, which is known for being extroverted, enthusiastic, motivational, and highly driven leader, but prone to anger easily and to be overly opinionated. Roman and Laura found that taking the temperament test helped them to better understand one another's personality.
Going the Distance
Not long after that first Skype session, Roman sent Laura a bouquet of red roses asking her to be his girlfriend. Three weeks after meeting, he flew to Boston to take her to the medical school formal dance. “A blizzard interfered with our plans, and we ended up walking through the snow to find the only place open: Estelle’s Bistro. We had a yummy dinner, which included homemade pickles!” she recalls.
Since they had to take a six-hour flight to see each other in person, the couple could only see each other every two or three weeks. “We Skyped every night in order to keep our close bond. We also picked St. Joseph as our patron saint and prayed via Skype before going to sleep. Our favorite prayer is the ‘Suscipe’ by St. Ignatius:"
Take Lord and receive all my liberty, my memory, and my understanding. All that I have and call my own. Everything is yours, do with it what You will. Give me only your love and your grace. That is enough for me.
Since they lived so far apart and because Laura had experienced betrayal in a previous relationship, she had to learn to trust that Roman was not going to cheat on her just because she was in another city. Her busy school schedule made it difficult for them to make time to see each other.
“We were both happy when I graduated from medical school in Boston and took a position as a gynecologist in El Paso. Now the distance was only a four-hour drive as opposed to a six-hour flight,” she says.
Only the Beginning...
After a year and four months of dating, Roman proposed. They took a little vacation to Boston, staying with Laura’s close friends. On the first day, they returned to Estelle’s—the site of their first date—and then afterward Roman asked for her hand by the water in Long Wharf.
It was May 8, 2014, the anniversary of the death of a priest, Fr. Richard Thomas, who was dear to Laura.
“He was a Jesuit, who was amazed by the invention of online dating because finally, two nice, Catholic, single people in different cities had a way to connect,” she says.
On September 12, 2014, on the feast of the Holy Name of Mary, they were married in Laura’s home church, St. Patrick Cathedral, in El Paso, Texas.
The wedding was made even more memorable because, “The Priests who married us were Fr. Fabian Marquez, a long time family friend on my side, and Fr. Charlie Martinez, who had baptized Roman as a baby,” says Laura.
Roman says being married is wonderful because he and Laura live in the same city and are spending more time together.
"After doing long distance for over two years, it is a relief that we are finally able to be together and spend not just the weekend, but every day together."
Laura and Roman had their first baby last July! His name is Francisco, and the family is doing well.
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