In the middle of 2017, Brandon was in New Jersey, spending time with his mom the month before beginning a postulancy.
Looking back, Brandon says, “There were signs God’s plan may have been different than my own, but I just kept moving forward in the process of pursuing the priesthood.” But one week before he began, there was a confusing incident with the vocations director, and Brandon was diverted from postulancy at that time. Little did he know how God would use this frustration!
During this upheaval, Brandon, 40, decided to revisit CatholicMatch to see if he could make a couple of friends in the New Jersey area.
“I wasn’t expecting much since I had previously been on for 15 months in North Carolina, just testing the waters and discerning,” Brandon recalls. “Beyond that, I was just going to be on for a month, open to possibilities, and after that, I was done.”
Meanwhile, Monica joined CatholicMatch in August with low expectations and little hope. Why?
“My friend Laurie made me promise at the end of the previous year that I would go online and try to meet someone,” Monica remembers. CatholicMatch seemed to check the boxes of this obligation. Monica went on a few dates, but nothing panned out. “I figured if I started with CatholicMatch and didn't meet my husband, I would be able to placate my mother, aunts, and grandmother by telling them I had tried!” Monica laughs. In addition, Monica had also been through a painful and long annulment process. (Since then, the official process has become easier and simpler.) Her first husband was not Catholic, and hadn’t supported her in practicing her faith. Monica figured CatholicMatch could at least offer the assurance of mutually Catholic dates for any potential relationship.
On the Feast of St. Augustine, about one month in, Monica clicked Brandon’s profile.
“She looked at my profile, but never sent a message,” Brandon noted. “Since the feast of St. Monica was the day before, I wished her a happy belated feast day.”
This took Monica by surprise. “No one but my mother had ever acknowledged my feast day before,” she says. So she asked some get-to-know-you questions, and the two began chatting online.
“She then shared that she skipped my profile since I said I wanted to be a priest, and just finished with a challenging time. My beard didn’t help my cause either!” Brandon chuckles. One thing he liked about Monica’s profile was that she was looking for a St. Joseph-like man who would be willing to help her around the house, as she was a busy professional. This caught Brandon’s attention and seemed like a good fit for him.
After a few weeks of talking, they arranged a date in Philadelphia where Monica, 41, lived. Unfortunately, Brandon had sold his car in preparation for postulancy, and now had to source one to go on this date! Later, when Monica found out, she was impressed he would do this. It showed commitment!
Monica’s friends, however, seemed to have second thoughts. “They did not want me to meet a strange man by myself, and insisted he join us after attending a dance so they could make sure I was safe,” Monica remembers. But Brandon's gentle spirit reassured everyone there was nothing to worry about. The two attended Mass, visited the St. Katherine Drexel Shrine, and explored the Brazilian Festival at Penn’s Landing, where they took one of their now-favorite pictures. “It was important for me to do something with culture and faith to test the waters,” Brandon explains. Neither can remember saying anything between them was official, but both felt fully committed to the other.
“We say St. Augustine’s feast day (St. Monica’s son) is our anniversary, since it just kept working out since that day!” Brandon says.
Then Monica had a job transfer to Ashburn, Virginia.
“This was very challenging for both of us as it led us to question the future, but as always God gives us a sign to trust Him,” Brandon says. This sign came in the form of a stranger and a Gospel reading. The week Monica moved, they attended daily Mass together and went to St. Paul’s in Slouth Philadelphia for the feast day. There they met someone whose brother-in-law worked at the same place Monica was transferring! This perfect stranger greeted her on her first day--and happened to be working right across the hall from her.
Brandon, meanwhile, was struggling with the change too. “I had a day I nearly left for good in mid-August of 2018,” he recalls. But the Gospel reading the next day just happened to be on marriage. And, in addition to the St. Therese statue on the altar, there also stood a St. Raphael statue. (Patron of Catholic Match, anyone?) St. Raphael statues are not often seen, so it caught Brandon’s attention immediately. “That day I said I would never look back, and I would trust God that this was the woman he wanted me to marry,” Brandon remembers, putting his heart at rest.
Another handy coincidence was when Brandon was giving a ride to an elderly couple, whose son happened to be a jeweler. Brandon had been considering buying a ring for Monica, and took this as a sign to move forward. He bought the ring from this very jeweler! Several months later, he proposed to Monica with it and a Virgin Mary statue.
By now, it was late 2018. The two decided on a year-long engagement, and the distance dictated seeing each other twice a month or so. Brandon contacted several priests in the area they would be living, and one of them happened to be at St. Veronica’s in Chantilly, Virginia. (This was the church where Brandon had heard the Gospel on marriage.) This priest was happy to do their marriage prep and offered the parish for the wedding as well. This was such a lovely experience, Brandon and Monica planned to make this their home parish, and asked the priest to be the wedding celebrant. Though the engagement season was challenging for them, Brandon states, “We just kept the faith and trusted working through the many challenges that came with our circumstances and distant relationship.”
On December 28, 2019, the two were wed. Before they went up to offer the flowers to Mary, Brandon asked Monica if she knew the Memorare.
“I love this prayer, but have been struggling to memorize the whole thing,” Monica says. “When we got to Mary, I completely blanked! I don't know exactly what words we prayed, but hopefully, Mary knew our intentions were pure. But we were also laughing quietly . . . and now we are working on memorizing the Memorare!”
They honeymooned in France, visiting the churches of St. Denis and St. Therese. “We also visited St. Therese’s parents, who ironically are not only the patrons of marriage, but their feast day is the same as St. Veronica, the patron of our parish we were married in!” Brandon says.
Monica says her favorite thing about her spouse is how he goes out of his way to take care of others through thoughtful acts of kindness. “Brandon follows St. Theresa's ‘Little Way,’ which I recognize and appreciate every day,” she explains. After a long-distance relationship, they greatly enjoy spending time together, having a glass of wine or some international food, and attending Mass regularly.
“We live out our baptismal promise every day as a domestic church, sharing the challenges and sufferings in our life, which are always brought to a resurrected joy through faith in the Mystical Body of Christ,” Brandon adds. “And it should be noted: we would’ve never talked had I not been lured to New Jersey through my vocation process!”
God works in mysterious ways!
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