When they joined CatholicMatch, neither Sarah, 24, nor Thomas, 28, was especially hopeful about finding someone. She lived in Wichita, Kansas. He lived in Omaha, Nebraska. Sarah was just out of a difficult relationship that ended because of differing life views. “I wanted to meet someone who shared my faith and beliefs,” she says.
Thomas had a similar desire. “I was in grad school and was busy with studying,” he recalls. “I wanted to be able to meet people who shared my faith.” Even so, Thomas saw online dating as a social taboo. “I saw it as a failure to meet someone the traditional way,” he admits. Still, both decided to give it a try.
One year versus one day
Thomas was on CatholicMatch for a little more than a year. Sarah was on the site for less than a day. Within three hours of creating her profile, Thomas sent her a message. They hit it off instantly. “I was attracted to how easy Thomas was to talk to and how genuine he seemed with everything he said,” Sarah says. “I also liked how important his faith obviously was to him.”
In addition to being attracted to Sarah physically, Thomas was impressed by her strong Catholic faith, such as following all of the Church's teachings, praying daily, and attending adoration on a weekly basis. “I was also attracted to her desire to have a family, and to live in the Midwest where I was also from,” he shares.
After talking on CatholicMatch and over the phone for about three weeks, they agreed to meet at a Starbucks for a coffee date. Thomas brought his dog for her to meet. “We talked for three hours about our interests, our faith, and the struggles of living out that faith in our secular society,” Sarah recalls.
In fact, the date went so well that Sarah invited Thomas to dinner with her family the same night. Sarah’s family knew she was excited about this guy she’d met on CatholicMatch and they were eager to meet him. At the dinner table, Sarah’s father noticed that Thomas would occasionally bow his head. “What a reverent, holy guy,” her father thought.
Sarah shared her dad’s sentiment, but had to tell him the truth: “Thomas is a huge Nebraska fan and he was missing a Huskers football game while we were at dinner, so he had it pulled up on his phone, which was sitting on his lap,” she laughs. “Thomas had just been checking the score of the Nebraska game!”
Our two biggest obstacles
They decided to continue pursuing the relationship. Physical distance was the biggest challenge. They lived three hours apart. “We tried to Skype, or at least talk on the phone, daily to keep the relationship strong despite the distance,” Thomas shares.
“On a lighter note,” Sarah reveals, “another obstacle was that my cat did not like him!”
In the summer of 2015, several months into their relationship, Sarah took a two-week vacation with her family to their cabin in Montana. It was the longest she and Thomas had been apart since meeting. Oddly, her parents kept insisting they had to be back home in Wichita by a very specific time on Sunday.
Sarah arrived home to find a large message written on a poster board instructing her to walk her dog along the usual neighborhood route. It was a little strange, but Sarah admits, “I did not suspect anything at this point.” She headed out with the dog.
On the walk, she encountered two of her cousins waiting for her. They gave her a welcome home gift and a “clue” to follow. She suddenly realized she was being led on a scavenger hunt. “Along the way, two more of my cousins had more clues,” she says.
When she finally reached the end of the scavenger hunt, she found Thomas waiting for her. He got down on one knee and proposed to her. “Her dad was even hiding behind a tree to get some pictures!” Thomas recalls.
First comes the bride...
A year and eight months after their first communication on CatholicMatch, Sarah and Thomas married on a hot June day at her home parish in Wichita. It was a fun day with all their family and friends. At the reception, Sarah’s father noticed Thomas bowing down again. But this time, he wasn’t checking the football scores on his phone. He knelt before his new bride, removed her shoes, and gently washed her feet with a bowl of water.
“This was something my brother-in-law had done when marrying my sister and I decided to carry on the tradition,” Thomas says. Sarah will never forget the gesture. “This was a very special moment for me and was a great way to lead in to our first dance as a married couple,” she remembers.
Sarah admits it was initially challenging to live in a new city and get a new job. Their new life together quickly brought another sudden change—Sarah got pregnant on their honeymoon. They were excited to be having a baby, even though it was earlier than they originally expected. “Learning to live together while dealing with the preparations of becoming new parents was sometimes difficult,” she confesses. “But seeing each other become a parent has been an amazing experience.”
In addition to raising their daughter, Cecilia, they also enjoy the other blessings that marriage brings. Sarah shares, “The best parts of being married are having someone who is always there for you, someone to talk to after a long day, to share difficult times and good times with.”
Despite their initial skepticism, Sarah and Thomas are glad they gave online dating a chance. “In the end, we both found it wasn’t a sign of failing to meet someone in person,” Thomas realizes. “It simply gave us another avenue of meeting someone with similar views, beliefs, and goals.”
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