God, Is This My Husband?

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Twenty-six year old Ann broke off her engagement with a non-Catholic just one month in.

“Although I was with my ex for years, I increasingly became aware that God was inviting me on a different path,” she recalls. “The hardest part of the break up was trusting that God had someone even better in store for me.”

Newly single and in search of finding like-minded Catholics who shared her values, Ann joined CatholicMatch in July of 2017. She knew she was looking for someone whom she would not settle for, but thrive with.

Instantly she met men who shared her passion for the faith, but there was always something missing. For instance, one of her matches wanted a stay at home wife, which Ann, a confident business woman in IT, knew was not for her. Despite the mismatches, Ann decided to trust God’s plan in eventually pairing her with a like-minded Catholic. All she could do in the meantime was wait and pray. 

Meanwhile, thirty-four year old Dennis stumbled upon Ann’s profile.

He quickly fell in love with her beautiful smile, and her clear love for God, life, and travel in her profile. So in August, he sent her a smiley face and liked a bunch of her photos.

So Ann clicked on his profile and lit up with joy! Dennis shared many of her passions, including his profession in technology and looking forward to raising a big family. It was almost as if she was reading her own thoughts written down by someone else. For instance, he mentioned word-for-word how he was looking for a wife who he would not settle for but thrive with. 

“I looked up to my ceiling and literally jokingly said, ‘God is this my husband?’ and laughed,” Ann remembers. She tried to rein in her excitement, because she knew that profiles can be deceiving and there were ghosters out there even on CatholicMatch. So she sent Dennis a simple reply and waited.

One month, nothing had happened. So she kept waiting.

Two months, still nothing.

It was now October, and Ann wasn’t active online anymore because there was no one else she had been interested in.

She still held her belief that God had someone in store for her, but if it wasn’t supposed to happen through CatholicMatch, she would simply close her account. 

It’s a good thing Dennis messaged her in October. He apologized for not getting back to Ann sooner, explaining how he hadn’t paid for a subscription to CatholicMatch until now, and had been restricted to sending emoticons. He wanted to get to know her better, evidenced by several questions he typed out. 

Ann was glad to hear back from this picture-perfect-profile guy. She was surprised he messaged her back after so long! The more they spoke, the more they saw signs that their meeting was more than coincidence. For instance, their birthdays were just a day apart, his on the 29th of March and hers on the 30th of March.

“I could tell very early on how deeply caring a woman Ann is,” Dennis says, noting her attentiveness to messages and thoughtful responses.

Yet, there was just one looming obstacle.

Dennis lived in America and Ann lived in England. But Dennis was keen to visit, despite the fact he had never been to England before. So a few weeks after they finally connected online, he booked his flight to England for January 2018.

At this point, he and Ann were using WhatsApp and Google Hangouts to video chat, praying together every night and sharing favorite Bible passages and writings.

“I felt so secure and at peace with Dennis, yet I began to doubt whether this was too good to be true,” Ann says. “But God kept paving our path. He gave us the gift of endurance and patience to withstand the distance, despite how hard it was at times.” 

When Dennis arrived in England, Ann was relieved to finally meet the online personality she had been speaking to for months. This visit was so successful, Dennis was certain he wanted Ann to be his wife. Wisely, he didn't propose but instead asked Ann to be his official girlfriend.

Ann agreed, though with a bit of trepidation.

She didn’t want to commit to Dennis if this was not what God intended for her. But that’s the thing about dating--you often have to date people in order to discern whether or not you want to be with them. Ann supplemented this reality with lots of time in Adoration, as well as seeking advice from trusted family and friends of both ordained and married lives.

“Of course, no one could give me a direct answer if Dennis was going to be my husband!” Ann laughs. She instead sought for hints of direction, and found herself drawn back to Dennis. He brought her joy and peace, and with God’s presence throughout their relationship, she knew she had to give their romance a chance.

The two dated long distance for eleven months. In November 2018, Dennis proposed and Ann was thrilled to accept. Ann remembers being overwhelmed by the love and support they received from both their families and friends as they planned the big day for August 17th of 2019. 

With nine months of wedding preparation, Dennis applied for a fiance visa to allow them to marry in the UK.

This process took longer than expected, however, and they had to book and pay wedding suppliers before the visa was officially approved. Thankfully, the visa came through just two weeks before the wedding!

Dennis’s favorite part of the ceremony was receiving the Eucharist with his brand new wife at St. Anne’s Cathedral. He was especially thankful for all the friends and family who traveled across the ocean to attend the English wedding ceremony, as well.

“After all the challenges of long distance and wedding preparation, officially becoming husband and wife in the eyes of the church and in front of all our family and friends was my biggest highlight of the day,” Ann said. Another fond memory for them was meeting the pope in Rome later on for a sposi novelli blessing. 

Marriage always comes with challenges.

Settling Dennis permanently into the UK requires a different type of visa, which has taken time, effort, and resources. Dennis has been restricted from working in the UK, but soon the permanent visa will come through, allowing him to get a stable job.

The two of them agree that the best part of being married are living together, attending Mass together every week, and spending their evenings cooking and sharing their favorite shows. 

“I really appreciate getting to wake up next to my wife every day, strengthening our prayer life, and spending time together doing activities we enjoy,” Dennis states.

“I look forward to working when my next visa arrives. Small moments of miscommunication have also been challenging, but we rectify these moments with mutual forgiveness and prayer together!”

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