“When John first messaged me, I was like, ‘Oh no! Not again.’ But something was pulling me to take a look," says Crystal, who was overwhelmed by the number of guys messaging her and a failed CatholicMatch relationship.
She intended to let her subscription end, but then, on October 31, 2013, John sent her a message.
“When I saw John was all the way from Ireland, I was taken aback because I didn't know if a long distance relationship could work, especially internationally. I still thought it would be great to try and be friends, so I messaged him back,” says the 28-year-old who was living in Seattle, Washington at the time.
Looking at John’s profile, she was pleased to see that they had some things in common such as both of them had the preference for traditional or more conservative religious style of worship. “It was not until our first Skype call that I found out that John had discerned the same religious community where I had spent seven years. I remember being shocked out of my mind.”
Wait, you were part of my community too?
John had been a postulant for a couple of years, and after leaving the religious life, he was seeking direction for his life. “I wanted to try pursuing a relationship, but I found it difficult to meet someone I liked locally—who I felt shared my dreams and goals and whom I connected with on an emotional and spiritual level. A friend of mine told me CatholicMatch was the best option for a Catholic trying to meet someone online,” says John, 30, from Galway, Ireland.
Despite his initial apprehension about online dating, John decided to cast his net wide to give himself a better chance to meet someone. On October 31st, 2013, he sent Crystal a message. “There was something captivating about her profile; the pictures she shared and the words she wrote.”
A couple of weeks later, Crystal and John had their first Skype call. "It was at this point that we discovered that we were both former members of the same religious community. Though we never met in person, we both knew the same people and shared many of the same experiences,” he explains.
Crystal adds, “I had entered at the very young age of 15. My postulancy was in Dover, Delaware (where my family was living at the time), but for novitiate I had to go to the Philippines. Even though I had a tough time, I do not regret it because I learned so much. In 2011, when it didn’t work out, I moved back to America to be with my family who had moved to Washington because my Dad was in the military. After being in the religious life for so long, I had a strong love for prayer, and I knew if God had a plan for me, I needed to trust in His ways.”
For Crystal knowing John had discerned religious life in the same order made her feel like he understood her. She also felt attracted to how he expressed himself and how he listened, which made her feel special. Another trait she enjoyed was John’s sense of humor. “He is very good at impersonating people,” she laughs.
I love the picture of you as Arwen
On February 22nd, 2014, Crystal would be picking John up at the airport. Since John had told her that his favorite picture of her was the one of her dressed as Arwen from Lord of the Rings, Crystal decided to meet John at the airport dressed in her Arwen costume.
“Meeting John for the first time at the airport will always be one of my favorite memories in all my life. I came to the airport early with a friend, and I was so nervous but also very excited. When he walked through the doors, I knew Skype had not done him justice because the sight of him had me breathless. It was love at first physical sight. I thought the princess Arwen costume I wore to the airport might have made John quiet, but later he explained he was just very shy,” she says.
John explains, “I was shy in person, but Crystal beat that out of me pretty fast with her warm, bubbly personality. She looked spectacular in her Lord of the Rings princess Arwen costume and immediately embraced me at the airport. As soon as I got out of my shell, we hit it off quite well.”
Over the next two years, John would come three times to visit Crystal in America and she would travel to Ireland twice. In July of 2016, Crystal relocated to Ireland. “We both agreed it was necessary for us to live in the same area for a period of time,” he says.
She adds, “The visa process has been very trying for me because coming here, I kind of surrendered everything to God. I can't wrap my head around it, but everything is working out slowly but surely.”
Our Lady of Knock...Surprise!
On Saturday, November 12th, 2016, John told Crystal that they would be meeting up with a mutual friend to celebrate his birthday. “Because it's not unusual for John to spring last minute plans on me, I was not
surprised. So Saturday (the next day) we went on an hour-long bus ride to Knock where we were going to wait for our friend to pick us up. We got a quick bite to eat, and then we started walking towards the exit of Knock.”
While they were waiting to get picked up, John asked Crystal, "Would you like to get confession while waiting?" Crystal usually went to confession every Saturday, so it wasn't strange that he asked her this.
“He started leading me to where the confessions supposedly are located. He stopped us up in front of a life-size statue of Our Lady of Knock and asked if we should say a few prayers. We were praying silently, and he turned to me and said, ‘I have a confession to make. There was no birthday party today. I brought you here for a different reason.’”
John got down on one knee; presented her a beautiful ring and asked her, "Will you marry me? "
“I gasped,” she remembers. “Words would not come out. John stood up and gave me a hug because I couldn't stop crying. ‘Is that a yes?’ he asked. Between the sobs, I said, ‘yes of course!’”
John and Crystal are making plans for a May 2018 wedding. “We would both like members to know how important it is to pray and believe in God's ability to work miracles far beyond what our minds can comprehend. And we strongly believe God intended us to meet.”
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