Cheryl, 39, from Endicott, NY, was what she calls “notoriously anti-online dating." She had tried ChristianMingle a few years prior and she had felt overwhelmed by the experience. “It was overwhelming to have so many men trying to make contact with me (and some were old enough to be my father). It felt like 'work' so I took down my profile fairly quickly,” she says.
Ironically, even when she was railing against online dating, she was still tempted by the dating sites. On several occasions, she made profiles, but then deleted them before submitting. She also would periodically peek at CatholicMatch out of curiosity, and twice she made a profile but deleted it. “Funny thing is that when I would actually consider maybe making a profile, I would see this guy on there who I would run into frequently through my job. I wasn't interested in him, so I thought it would be really awkward if I did make a profile and he tried to initiate contact with me. When I found out he got married, then I felt I could make a profile safely,” she jokes.
On December 14th, 2013, she finally ended up making a CatholicMatch profile, which she committed to. “Really it was the Holy Spirit that gave me the courage to make a profile and actually submit it. I think it was a combination of factors that made me ready to do this. I had reached a place in my faith where I truly believed God had a husband for me, so I wasn't as resistant to opening up avenues for God to work. Plus, it was holiday time.”
Mary brought them together
To her surprise, the next day she received a message from another recent member named John, 39, from Harrisburg, PA. “We were drawn to one another by a shared devotion to the Blessed Mother and the Miraculous Medal,” they say.
Cheryl adds, “I joke with John that he's lucky he reached out to me when he did or I may have deleted my profile!”
A few weeks later, on December 29th, 2013—with plans to meet each other for Mass at St. Andrew's Catholic Church and for brunch afterwards—they each drove an hour and a half to meet midway in Wilkes-Barre, PA. “The first thing we noticed about one another was that we were both wearing blue in honor of our Blessed Mother. In the church, we sat praying next to one another in the pew holding hands and staring at Our Lord and Our Lady wondering what exactly they were up to.”
I am never going to meet someone!
At brunch, they exchanged gifts, and to their surprise, they both had brought the same gift. “Each of us gave the other a rosary,” they share. Their date was going so well that they never wanted it to end. “We had spent a large amount of time getting to know one another first through the CatholicMatch site, then email and then by phone. So, by the time we met face-to-face, it was a great moment,” Cheryl says. “I remember getting in my car to go home and thinking “Oh my gosh, I just met my husband!”
Before meeting John, Cheryl thought she’d never meet a Catholic man who would meet her extremely high expectations. Now she felt sure that she had met the man she would marry, and she saw little signs that heaven was confirming their relationship. For one, her friendship with John was bringing her closer to God. “It felt surreal. I can say that as a devoted, life-long Catholic, I had never felt the love of Jesus and Our Blessed Mother come alive and feel so real as when John was brought into my life. As someone who experienced singleness for so many years and all the pain and heartache that comes with this cross, the answer to my many prayers in such an extraordinary way caused the love of God to come alive for me in a way I cannot express with words.”
Praying a Chaplet via text
Both John and Cheryl found the traveling back and forth to see each other challenging, but they also knew that any difficulties were worth it. They enjoyed spending time together, meeting each other’s friends and family, and attending Mass together on the weekends. To keep connected during the weekdays, they would “prayer text” each other every day at 3:00 p.m. for the Divine Mercy. “One of us would text, ‘For the sake of His sorrowful Passion…’ and the other would respond, ‘Have mercy on us, and on the whole world.’” In the evening, during the week, they would have nightly FaceTime conversations.
First comes the Church, then comes the proposal
John and Cheryl had agreed early on that they were not dating, per se, but that we were entering a discernment process for marriage. Six months after they met, they prayed a nine-day
Assumption on August 15th, 2015, even before John had officially proposed. “John had waited until after we set the date to propose because he wanted to let my Dad know he was going to ask me, and he wanted to take time to ring shop with me, so I could have something I'd really like.”
On November 1st, 2014, John proposed to Cheryl in front of a Grotto of the Blessed Mother. “He was originally planning to propose a couple of weeks prior to this date but this plan didn't work out so he chose the next weekend that I would travel down to PA for a visit, which happened to be November 1st. John later discovered that the date he ended up proposing was the date that Pope Pius XII declared August 15th to be the Feast of the Assumption of the Blessed Mother into heaven. We were delighted when we discovered this confirmation that our union was blessed by Our Heavenly Mother,” they share.
Adjusting to married life
On August 15, 2015, John and Cheryl were married at St. Ambrose Catholic Church, in Endicott, NY. After several moves, they finally found a home in Harrisburg, PA. “We had many challenges in our first seven months as a married couple, on top of the usual challenges. We both feel we made it through all of this smoothly with very few issues. I would say that it’s easier than I thought to adjust to being married. Especially after being single my entire life, having a career, my own home and being an independent woman,” Cheryl explains.
“I quit my job to move down to where John is from and easily adjusted to being his wife. I’m still not working as we are hoping to conceive a child. Truly one of the greatest joys of marriage for us is our understanding of God’s design for marriage. We are both 42 but are open to children and are hoping our union will be fruitful and produce souls for Heaven. But we also embrace the will of God in this area and will accept whatever work God has for us as a married couple. We know He brought us together for a purpose and in time, He will reveal what He wishes to accomplish through us in this world. We are so grateful to CatholicMatch! We would never have met if this site didn’t exist. The funny thing is, I was so vocally 'anti-online dating' that many of my friends didn’t believe me at first when I told them how I met John.”
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