After the First Date, I Thought She Didn't Like Me

9

Doris threw in the towel and broke off an eleven year engagement.

She wanted a man that thought similarly in faith and morals, so she signed up for CatholicMatch. Often over the years, she had noticed an ad for the site in her church bulletin.

Doris saw Michael's profile and sent him a message because she noticed that he volunteered at the local Catholic radio station. She told him that she knew the station manager and that she donates to the station.

"The last thing she said to me in the message was, 'It's a very small world.'"

It was a small world because not only did Doris and Michael know many of the same people, they lived only 12 miles apart. Even so, they had never met each other. They also shared other similarities; both of them had been caregivers to their disabled spouses, and both were widowers.

Our first date ended poorly.

After a month of messaging one another, the couple—both in their early sixties—decided to meet for a dinner date. The date was going great until it was time to leave the restaurant because it was closing at 9. Michael claims the Doris bolted; before he could ask her to go someplace for a drink, he heard her say goodbye.

"I thought that date had been going well," he says. "Then Doris drives away so quickly I didn't even see what kind of car she drove."

Doris tells the story differently. She says she wanted to continue the conversation, but Michael dallied too long.

 "We were standing outside of the restaurant, and he was very slow—too slow—in asking me out for a drink. I felt a little awkward, and I thought, 'I'm not going to just to stand here. So, I said, 'Call me.'"

 Michael chimes in, "I thought she wasn't interested. I felt terribly disappointed. It was my first date in 20 years."

Doris waited for Michael to call and felt disappointed when she didn't hear from him.

"I guess, I was unintentionally playing hard to get," he chuckles. 

A mutual priest friend became a second matchmaker.

Both Michael and Doris had a close mutual friend named Fr. Ed Leonard. He was Michael's parish priest and had many years before, he presided over Michael's first marriage. Doris had been friends with Fr. Leonard for more than ten years. 

She shared with the priest about disappointment over Michael not calling her. 

 "I talked to him about it, and I said, 'Fr. Leonard, you know I went out with Michael, but I don't know what I did. He hasn't called me back.'"

More than a month after Michael's first date with Doris, the priest stops him after Mass and tells Michael. "Call Doris. You two were made for each other."

 "I was pleasantly flabbergasted," Michael recalls.

 "So, when a priest tells a young man to call a young woman, you better do it, right?" Doris laughs.

When you know, you know.

Once Michael called Doris, they began dating regularly. He didn't waste any time asking her to marry him. They had been dating two months when he popped the question. 

"I responded that I needed a whole year to decide," she says. "I knew women that got married too quickly. You need time to get to know the man and his family because when you marry someone, you marry into his family. I also wanted to be a good example to my son, 30, and daughter, 29."

"I had to learn to be patient for four seasons, but Doris was worth the wait," he says.

Michael adds, "The more I was with Doris, the more I loved her. I'm going to be honest with you. Initially, I was looking for a completely different person. Someone who'd never been married and was 10 years younger than me, but Doris changed my mind. 

A year later, she knew, too.

On December 2nd, 2018, the first anniversary of our first date. Michael asked Doris if she was thinking about getting married.

She responded, "Is this a proposal? If it is, I think you need to get down on one knee." 

Michael got down on one knee, which was tough since he had just had a knee replacement the month before. This time Doris said, "Yes!"

On June 22nd, 2019, the couple was married at St. Patrick Westpark, in Cleveland, Ohio. Both Michael and Doris feel grateful for a second chance at love. They feel like they learned a lot from their first marriages, and they have brought that knowledge to the second marriage.

"I think because I'm wiser I know what to say, when to say it, and when to hold my tongue," Doris offers.

"I still need to learn that, and I am learning from her," Michael closes.

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