Amber, who lived in Wisconsin, and Joseph, who lived in Montana, started messaging in December of 2005. They wrote to each other and talked on the phone for hours from the get-go. This gave them a chance to communicate their feelings and stances on important topics in a straightforward way, without having to figure out small talk and social dynamics. And they feel that it truly strengthened their relationship, despite the long distance.
But it took a while for them to find each other.
Amber shares, “I was originally only looking to meet someone local and 5'8" or taller. I wasn't having much luck."
Amber finally took the leap, and changed her search to include the entire U.S. She also lowered her height restriction.
"I'm so glad I did, because I met my amazing husband who lived states away and is 5'7” says Amber, who has been married to Joseph for nine years and is now a mother of four. She advises current members to broaden their search and look at people who they might not normally consider.
“CatholicMatch not only changed how our relationship played out, but made it possible to find someone with all those characteristics that would be harder to find in the daily routines of our lives.”
Moving to Montana
Five months after they started talking online, Joseph flew to Wisconsin to meet her. Confident in their relationship, Amber moved to Montana to live near Joseph in May of the following year.
There were also challenges surrounding the transition from knowing her now-husband long distance to seeing him in daily life and social interactions. “There were some social circumstances that I wasn't okay with when I first moved near him, but we worked through those. The things you can't really feel out through only long-distance become important revelations once you are seeing them day-to-day.”
But it only took a couple of months to sort things out. Joseph proposed in July, and the couple was married a little less than a year later.
It felt like falling on a soft pile of pillows
The first year of their marriage was a bit of a struggle because of the transitions of living together and merging finances. “Communication is everything because it all affects both of you now,” says Amber. Having four children in four years also caused some growing pains for the couple (Their children, pictured below, are now 6, 5, 3, and 2).
Their marriage also brought unexpected joys.
“Joseph helps me through emotional thought processes with his ever-constant unconditional love and support. I remember feeling like I was falling onto a soft pile of pillows emotionally, because he really understood me and loved me in such a supportive, cherished way.”
Amber also shared how being married to Joseph has opened her up to new experiences. “For example, I never would have gone out of the way to see a Cirque du Soleil performance, and now it is a favorite of both of ours.”
Their marriage has given Amber a feeling of home that does not depend on location. Last year, the family moved to Portland, Oregon, even further from her home state of Wisconsin. “I had pictured living in my hometown or near it throughout my life, but our little family is my home, so I am willing to move even further west for them.”
All these blessings from simply broadening her search!
Continue Reading
