For Adamma and Emmanuel, the cake-feeding tradition was one of the best moments of their wedding.
Most of us have been at a wedding where one or both of the newlyweds smash a piece of cake into each other’s faces.
It always makes me cringe when I see this because I know that the bride went through some effort to make herself look lovely for her husband. I also think the couple might be missing the mark on the important symbolism of feeding one another wedding cake. The tradition represents fertility and the commitment to take care of one another.
However, for Adamma and Emmanuel, the cake-feeding tradition was one of the most memorable moments of their December 1st, 2018, wedding.
“We didn’t do the silly stuff but meant every action we took. The guests faded away, and we were in our own world. Later that day, my mum told me how her cousins couldn’t get over the loving and gentle way we had fed each other!” says Adamma, who was living in New York when she first met her husband.
But aren't the guys supposed to message first?
Adamma, who’d never been married, had just ended a dead-end relationship when she turned to CatholicMatch. She had been praying a St. Theresa Novena asking for strength and guidance when she felt compelled to become a member.
On June 24, 2017, after being on CatholicMatch for a month, Adamma, 41, messaged Emmanuel, 42. “I contacted him first after taking courage from a story I read on the CatholicMatch blog,” she says.
Getting up the nerve to initiate a conversation was a big deal to her. “I was raised with the ideology that the man makes first contact, but after reading through Emmanuel’s profile, I decided to take a leap of faith,” she recalls.
What Emmanuel wrote in his profile resonated with this New Yorker. “This was a man who was honest with what he wanted in a woman. He didn’t just want a relationship; he wanted marriage as well, which was my heart’s desire. He also looked and sounded Nigerian, which was a plus for me because I had only been in relationships with my people.”
They hit it off right away, and for a month, the couple talked on the phone every day for hours when they got home from work. “We found out that we went to school in the same cities in Nigeria and Scotland, but we'd never met! We had so many mutual friends and acquaintances," they say.
Adamma even learned that Emmanuel went to the same high school as both of her brothers. "We discovered so much in common; it was a little bit scary!”
She watched this tall, dark, and handsome man walk toward her.
On the morning of July 25th, 2017, the couple met for their first date. Emmanuel, who lives in Maryland, came to see Adamma in New York. She was waiting on the center stairs of Grand Central Station when she saw Emmanuel walking toward her. “He was tall, dark, handsome, and I fell in love with him on first sight—cliche but, true!”
They went back to Adamma’s home, and she made him breakfast. “I had to leave him because I was on a work retreat that weekend. This was unquestionably his first test because I have a very demanding job that interferes with my personal life, and he got firsthand experience of this,” she says.
Emmanuel was patient, and he enjoyed the time he spent with Adamma. They especially liked going to the movies together. “I was skeptical about his reaction to the movie since it was a chick flick but, he enjoyed it! This endeared him more to me because I had found something else we had in common! We laughed so hard that we discovered chemistry right there during our bouts of laughter.
It's okay, Mom! He's the real deal.
Adamma shares a close relationship with her mother, who was a little leery about her daughter meeting someone online, but the fact that her sons knew Emmanuel helped ease any concerns.
“She became convinced he was genuine and encouraged the relationship while supporting me with fervent prayers.”
Emmanuel, whose prior marriage had been annulled, is father to a 3-year-old girl. Adamma quickly thought of herself as this little girl’s part-time mum.
My heart was so full I could barely process what he was saying to me.
On Saturday, March 24, 2018, Adamma wasn't too surprised when Emmanuel popped the question. He was dropping hints, and she read between the lines. “I had come to Maryland the previous evening to spend some time during that weekend with Emmanuel. It was just about midnight, and we had had a particularly enjoyable day. I cooked, and we had a good time in each other’s company.”
Later that evening, when Emmanuel knelt on one knee to propose, Adamma’s heart was so full of love for him, she could barely concentrate on the words coming out of his mouth.
“He made some vows and commitments to me, and I knew I had a good man who would be there for me no matter what,” she remembers. “I didn’t hesitate to say yes. It was an easy decision to make because we had come so far in the less than a year, and our love for each other remained consistent through it all.”
On December 1st, 2018, the couple was married in an intimate ceremony at Mary Immaculate Catholic Church, in Emmanuel’s village, Ogwashiukwu, Delta State, Nigeria. “The whole day was fantastic,” they say.
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